


Another Side, Another Shadow

by Taliax



Series: Cast a Shadow [2]
Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Dark Aqua, Doesn't follow BbS vol 2, F/M, Friendship, Gen, Romance, Semi-Canonical Character, Series Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-08
Updated: 2018-05-03
Packaged: 2018-12-25 09:36:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 70,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12033198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Taliax/pseuds/Taliax
Summary: Sequel/Midquel to "Cast a Shadow." What happened to Aqua in those fifty days?





	1. Beyond the Door

**Author's Note:**

> So I already went ahead and decided to write Aqua’s side of those 50 days in “Cast a Shadow,” because clearly I’m incapable of leaving this story alone like I said I was going to. *sweatdrop* Also I apparently want to make my life that much more difficult, so this will be a multichapter. Hopefully not a long one. There will be plenty of time breaks and things, I only plan on hitting the most interesting and important parts of what was going on.  
> Needless to say, this contains spoilers for “Cast a Shadow”! Please read that story first if you haven’t already!

XXX __XXX

XXX

_“I won’t leave you!”_

He hadn’t given her a choice.  She had nearly destroyed the giant white Flood, made it bring her back to him - but that would have wasted precious time, time that he didn’t have.  Instead, as he sunk into the water, she channeled her remaining magic into the most powerful Curaga spell she could cast.  The water glowed faintly where he’d fallen.

That was the last thing she saw before she was thrust into the light.

The portal seemed to rip at her, tried to sear her skin from her bones.  Light shouldn’t hurt like that; maybe it was a side effect of still wearing the dark suit.  The feeling lasted for only a few seconds, and then she and the Flood landed on solid ground.  Behind it loomed the distorted version of the Land of Departure in the distance.  Ven would be there.  At least, she hoped he would - how long had it been since she had left him?  It had been impossible to judge time in the Realm of Darkness.  Surely it couldn’t have been more than a few months, though it felt like an eternity.

Regardless, Ven could wait a few minutes longer.  Van was still in danger.

“Take me back,” she ordered the Flood, craning her neck to look for the portal.  Maybe there was still time-

No. It was gone.  Returning would have been foolish, and she knew it.  In that moment the knowledge wouldn’t have stopped her.

She took deep breaths, trying to calm herself.  The Flood still held her tightly; in fact, it started to stroke her hair, as if trying to console her.  It might have even worked, just a little.

“Van… do you have any idea what you’ve done?”  Her voice tremored.  He couldn’t have known, could he?

_“Come on!  You can make it!”_

_“No.  But… you can.”_

She imagined what he would say if he could hear her thoughts: _“Of course I knew what I was doing.  I’m not an idiot.”_ The thought almost made her laugh.  But if she laughed, she knew the tears would pour out along with it.

She held them in.  She had contained her tears for Terra and Ven; she could control these now, no matter how insistently they fought to escape her eyes.  There was no time to mourn now.  Mourning was for the dead, and she refused to believe Van would die.  If he could fight the darkness inside him, then surely he could fight the darkness on the outside, too.

“I’m okay,” she told both herself and the Flood, who was still petting her hair.  “You can let go of me now.” Its thin arms reluctantly released her, gently placing her on the ground.  

“...Thank you,” she told it.  Could it even understand her?  The Inversed sometimes had personality, and they obeyed Van’s mental commands, but she hadn’t attempted to talk to one before.  Could… could it get a message back to him somehow? “Can you tell Van something for me?”

Her head told her that it wouldn’t work.  Her heart stubbornly refused to listen.

The Flood tilted its head sideways, as if thinking.  Or maybe listening?  Could it hear Van all the way from here?

Then it shook its head.  Its blue eyes almost seemed sorry.

“That’s alright,” she assured it, though her heart fell.  “You tried your best.  Come on, maybe we can find help inside the Castle.”

She started up the dirt path to what was once her home.  This twisted brown structure felt like an imposter, a shadow of the place she had loved.  Staring up at it only fed the ache in her heart.  What did she hope to find there?  The Master was gone.  Terra was… hopefully safe.  Somehow.  And Ven…

“Maybe Ven can help,” she allowed herself to hope.  Van had said Ven spoke to him, hadn’t he?  Maybe his heart had returned to him!

Aqua ran to the doors with the giant Flood on her heels.  Master Keeper easily unlocked the doors; they swirled with light and slowly swung open.

“Hello?”  She called, squinting and shielding her eyes.  The walls and floor were as white as she had left them.  She should have been happy to see the bright color, shouldn’t she?  Instead it just felt empty, as hollow as the darkness of the realm she’d left behind.

No one answered, not that she had expected anyone.  This was neutral ground, not be abused.  The purpose for her redesign of the Castle had been to keep it safe from ill-intentioned intruders.

Fortunately, it still held a connection to her.  Though the rooms and hallways jumbled together with no obvious landmarks, she could feel a tugging in her heart, leading her to where she needed to go.  Heartless blocked her path from time to time; she hardly registered the creatures as her blade and the Flood destroyed them.  How had she become so desensitized?  She should have been aghast to see the monsters taking over her home.  Instead she almost welcomed the target for her anger.

_It’s your fault Van isn’t here!  You’ve already taken my friend, now you take my home?  Is there anywhere we can be safe?_

_Oh light, is Ven safe…?_ Her heart beat faster as she cut her way through to the chamber in which she’d left him.   _Please, please be alright…_

She unlocked the door.  What would it mean if he was gone?  That he’d awakened?  Or that the Heartless had found him?

She shoved her way into the room before her fears could get the best of her.  The chamber was exactly as she had left it - complete with Ven’s form sleeping in the tall throne.

“Ven,” she said with a smile, leaving the Flood behind to rush to his side.  There was enough room in the white chair for her to squeeze in beside him, so his head was resting on her shoulder.  “I’m so glad you’re safe…”

As safe as he could be, she supposed, while missing his heart.

_Van did this,_ she remembered.   _If it weren’t for him, Ven never would have lost his heart in the first place._

She should feel bitter.  She should hate him; she had every reason to.

_Leave him there, in the darkness,_ a voice whispered inside her.   _It’s what he deserves._

“No,” she said automatically, without thinking.  That voice… that wasn’t the Dark Wind.  In hindsight she could recognize its hold on her, tempting her with promises that the darkness would keep her safe, take away her fear, make her strong.  She had resisted it, thinking it was just her mind.  This was different.  This, she was ashamed to admit, actually _was_ her mind.

“I would never abandon a friend,” she told herself.  “He _is_ my friend, and he deserves a second chance.”

Just like she would need a second chance to save Ven and Terra.   _Terra…_ She had given him a second chance, saving him from the Realm of Darkness.

_Just like Van saved me._ Guilt suddenly clenched her in its fist.  How could the thought of abandoning him invade her mind, even for a moment?  He had sacrificed himself for her!

“Forgive me,” she whispered, though whether to Van, or the sleeping Ven, or just the universe, she wasn’t sure.  She ran her fingers through Ven’s hair, the way she once had whenever he was sick or upset.  He looked so peaceful… Wherever his heart was, she hoped it was somewhere full of happiness and light.

She couldn’t help noticing the similarities between him and Van, now that she knew what to look for.  The round shape of their faces, the way they both looked so innocent when sleeping.  Though for Van, the only time he really looked innocent was when he was sleeping.  Surprisingly, however, their differences seemed to stand out more.  Light hair versus dark.  Wiry frame versus a more muscular build.  If Ven’s eyes had been open, she knew they could never remind her of her other friend.

“You two would make the weirdest brothers,” she found herself saying with a melancholy smile.  When she saved Van and awoke Ven, she would find a way to help them get along.

The white Flood approached them, snuggling up on Ven’s other side, almost like a giant teddy bear.  It alleviated her conflicted feelings and brought a small smile to her face. If its actions were any indication, Van didn’t hate Ven nearly as much as he sometimes acted.  The Flood closed its eyes, as if it would fall asleep there with him.

She wished she could sleep, too - fatigue suddenly washed over her, as if gravity had increased five fold.  At the same time, her stomach decided it was hungry enough to eat itself.  She had to cast Curaga just to keep from collapsing.

“Thank you for saving us, Ven. I’ll be back,” she promised, and she imagined he smiled a little.  After hugging him one last time, she and the Flood left to find the kitchen.  Luckily it was close enough that the Inversed could handle all the Heartless in their way.

“You’re stronger than a regular Inversed,” she noted, pushing open the door to the kitchen.  “I wonder how Van did it…”

She didn’t have much energy to wonder, though.  The small amount she did have was spent on the kitchen. It was much different than the Land of Departure’s original one, but more than that, it was stocked with different food.  And food that hadn’t gone bad, at that.  Cabbage, apples, some sliced meat and cheese, and...

“Pasta?”  She pulled a Tupperware container from the refrigerator.  Sure enough, her first guess was right; thin noodles mixed with meat, vegetables, and a spicy-smelling sauce hid under the lid.  “Who would have made this…?”  Had her protections on the Castle failed?

Her stomach rumbled, and she decided that wasn't her most important question.  Whoever it was, she would cook them some replacement pasta later - assuming they were using this place for benign purposes.  Right now, she barely had the energy and patience to put the pasta in the microwave and dig through the drawers for a fork.

A minute later, she was eating the most delicious meal in the worlds.  A minute after that, it was gone, the red stain around her mouth the only evidence of its short existence.  She devoured half of the meat and cheese too - not wasting the time to put them on bread - and a couple of apples.  How could she possibly be so hungry?

She then noticed the Flood, which was staring straight at her with its odd blue eyes.  “Could you… not watch me eat?”    Obediently it turned to the side, facing outwards towards the door.  “...Thank you.”

She could still hardly believe the Inversed had obeyed her.  Had she defaulted to being its master in Van’s absence?  That was an odd thought.

“Van would have given you a name,” she realized, washing her hands and face at the sink once she finished her meal.  The Flood turned back to her, and she swore it nodded.  “He was always so clever with those… I may not be able to give you one as good as he would have, but I’ll try.”

The white Inversed waited patiently as she dried her face with a clean dish towel.  Whoever had stopped here had left the place tidy.

“Hmm… I would suppose that the name ‘Flood’ came from your blue color, but you’re white.  Should I think of a name with that theme…?”  She thought for a few minutes, but nothing came to her.  “Alright, maybe something with water, then?  Funny how he named you after that, when he obviously dislikes it…” She smiled at the memory of teaching him to swim.  Trying to, anyway.  It had been like teaching a fish to fly.  “Torrent? Tsunami?”  She threw out the possible name.  “No, those sound a little too dark for you.”

The Flood still waited, head tilted just slightly.  It was probably silly that she wanted to talk to it in the first place, that she even thought to give it a name.  But who knew how long they would be trapped here?  She had no keyblade glider, no way out.  It might just be her and this Inversed until… well, until she found a way off this world.  She would journey through the wasteland outside the Castle if she had to.

The names _Stormfall_ and _Rainfell_ came to mind, but those were her keyblades.  “Brightcrest?  No, that was a keyblade too…” She did like that name, though.  Then, a completely different idea popped into her head.

“Drizzle,” she said definitively.  The Inversed perked up, like a pet hearing its owner call it home.  She couldn’t help a little laugh at that.  “Drizzle it is.  Van would probably find it silly, but he doesn’t have to know, does he?”

If Drizzle had had a mouth, she thought he’d be smiling.  But since he didn’t, he dived underground and popped back up in front of her, only to engulf her in a giant hug.

She gasped both from surprise and to refill her squished lungs.  “A-alright, Drizzle, I’m glad you like it…?”

When the Inversed didn’t let go - but also didn’t appear to be actively trying to crush her - she tentatively hugged it back.  At the conscious gesture, a warmth flowed through her, pushing out some of the cold darkness that still clogged her veins.  It felt almost like… like the way she felt when Van hugged her.  When he would cling tight, as if afraid she would disappear if he let go, a part of her always felt more whole.  She never would have thought his newborn light could rekindle her own.  She never would have thought she could miss him this much…

A shout pulled her back to reality.  Drizzle held her tighter - if that were possible - but she caught a glimpse of a silver-haired figure in the doorway.

And then, keyblade bared, that figure charged toward her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realized I actually haven’t written from Aqua’s perspective… ever? Maybe in a drabble challenge. Anyway, I actually found this a little difficult to write. I think she just has so many different conflicting feelings at the same time, it was hard to portray that well. I also felt like a lot of this was choppy for that reason.


	2. Reunions

Aqua gasped, summoning Master Keeper in a shower of sparks, but Drizzle turned with her still in his arms to take the brunt of the hit.

“No!”  She called, struggling free and spinning towards the intruder.  His keyblade blocked her strike; the sharp _clang_ of metal on metal echoed through the room.  He grunted and leapt back, giving her a better look at him.  He wore unremarkable grey pants and an unremarkable yellowish vest.  As he readied his stance, though, she realized there was something remarkable about him: the way he held his keyblade overhead, his other arm outstretched and taunting - it was just like Van. The similarity caught her off guard, giving him the chance to close the gap.

As he was about to strike again, Drizzle dove underground and surfaced behind him.  He gasped as the Inversed’s arms trapped him.  If he hadn’t been struggling and squirming, it could have been just another hug.

“Who are you?”  Aqua demanded.  “What are you doing in this place?”

“I… should ask you… the same question,” the man grunted out, aquamarine eyes flashing.

“I am Master Aqua.” She approached him carefully, unsure how long Drizzle’s grip would last.  “I am… the Master of this castle.”

Her voice nearly cracked at that.  Her eyes dodged the keyblade in her hands, the memory of who the Castle’s previous Master was.   _Focus on the intruder._

He eyed her as if he were the one in control.  “Where did you get that suit?”

“From… a friend.”  She suddenly realized how she must look, clothed in darkness, controlling what would appear to be a monster.  And, for all she knew, her eyes might still be golden.  Still, she didn't back down.  “Tell me, where did you get that keyblade?”

“That’s a secret that stays with me,” he replied mysteriously.  Then he twisted his grip on the winged blade and stabbed his Inversed captor in the leg.

“Drizzle!”  She yelled, wanting to help the stumbling Inversed but having no idea how.  So instead she held her keyblade high and shouted, “Bind!”

Yellow light swirled around her.  The silver-haired man struggled again, constricted by an invisible force.

“Now,” she said, forcing as much authority as she could muster into her voice.  “Tell me who you are!”

“My name,” he hissed, “is _Master_ Riku.”

She froze, just as surely as if she’d cast Bind on herself.  “...Riku?”

“That’s right.” His eyes narrowed.  She backed up a step.

“But… no.  It can’t be.”  She leaned her keyblade against the ground, bracing her weight against it.  “He’s just a boy…”

“What?”  He demanded, breaking free of the Bind spell, but not attacking for the moment.  Drizzle loomed warily behind him, antennae twitching anxiously.

“You said _Master_ Riku,” she realized.  “Then Terra - did he return?  Did he teach you to use the keyblade?”

“You know about Terra? But you can’t be much older than I am.”  He shook his head, taking up his battle stance again.   _The spitting image of Van… and the apprentice Terra would’ve chosen… and he’s as old as me?  How long has it been…?_

As foolish as it seemed, she dismissed her keyblade.  “Please.  I need to know.”

His keyblade slowly drooped from his overhead stance. “No.  I haven’t seen Terra since the day he passed the power to me.  I’d almost forgotten.”

“Oh…” She shuffled over to a kitchen chair, resisting the urge to collapse in it.  She would still need sleep soon; even the short skirmish had left her exhausted. _Terra…_

“How do you know Terra?”  He asked, backing to a position against the table where the Inversed couldn’t loom over him.

“He’s one of my best friends.” She couldn’t help smiling.  “Riku… you remember him.  Do you remember me?”

He raised an eyebrow.  “Should I?”

Had the dark suit really made her so unrecognizable?  Or maybe it was simply the wear of the Realm of Darkness.  Or, perhaps, even her golden eyes.  She rushed to fling open cabinets, searching for a shiny pot. When she found one, she stared into it.

Her fingers reached up to touch her eyes.  “Blue again…” she breathed a sigh of relief.  Her reflection, though distorted by the round shape of the pot, was back to normal.  Normal as she could expect, anyway; dark circles ringed her eyes, and her hair was so disheveled, it almost looked spiked like Van’s.

Riku was just staring at her as if she’d grown an extra head.  Of course, all the things she was saying wouldn’t make any sense.  She had only met him once, and she hadn’t given her name.  And if he was around eighteen or nineteen now as she guessed… that would mean she should be how old?

“We met once,” she told him.  “Around the same time you met Terra.  You were probably four years old.”

“I think I would remember a young girl with blue hair on the Islands,” he replied skeptically.  She shook her head.

“I wasn’t young, Riku. No younger than I am now.”

He dismissed his dark-wing keyblade and crossed his arms.  “Explain.”

“It’s a rather long story.”  She sighed, finally sliding into the chair now that she was relatively sure he wouldn’t try to stab her.  Drizzle leaned over her chair, lightly resting his arms around her shoulders. “But I was trapped in the Realm of Darkness for… I don’t know how long.  I think you were four when it happened.  How old are you now?”

“Seventeen,” he answered, brow creasing. “I do think I remember a blue-haired woman, but…”

“Your friend. His name was Sora,” she said to prove herself.  He started at that, then sat in the chair next to her.

“That’s right.”

“What happened to him?”

“He’s around.” He waved vaguely.  “Off in some world training for his Mark of Mastery right now, actually.”

“Really?”  Her eyes widened.  “Then - he has the keyblade too?”

Riku nodded.  After she had decided not to wish her and Terra’s fate upon them… but apparently it had turned out alright.  The Mark of Mastery!  Sometimes it still felt like it had only been days since she passed her own.

“I wonder if he still looks just like Van…” She reached up and placed a hand over Drizzle’s arm. Between the Inversed, Ven, Riku, and Sora, it seemed everyone was determined to remind her of him. Not that she would ever forget.

“Who’s Van?”  Riku asked.

“My friend.  The one who made this suit for me,” she elaborated, and he flinched.

“I’m not sure how much of a friend he is, then.  Those suits are bad news.”

“We were trapped in the Realm of Darkness; it was the only way to keep the Heartless from destroying us.  Van is _still_ in the Realm of Darkness.  I have to find my way back to him.”

She stood, holding the bright Flood’s arm for support.  Riku quickly got up as well and blocked the path between her and the door.

“Master Aqua - I can’t claim I get what’s going on, but you can’t be serious.  I was trapped there once.  Twice, actually. I don’t even know how I got out.  You can’t go back there.”

Her eyes narrowed.  He was right; he couldn’t understand what was going on.  “If Sora was trapped there, would you leave him?”

“Well, ah…” He sighed.  “No.  I wouldn’t.”

“Then maybe you can begin to understand.  I _have_ to save him, Riku. I would never ask you to take me to the Realm of Darkness yourself, but can you at least help me get off this world?”

He smiled a little.  “I know someone who could do that.  But first, I think you could use some rest, and I could use a better explanation.  Come on, we can get you a room here for now.”

XXX

Rest came first.  Despite her eagerness to come up with a plan to rescue Van, she could only fight the fatigue for so long.  She passed out as soon as her head hit the pillow in the room Riku led her to, not even caring if there were Heartless about.  Drizzle could protect her from those, anyway.

For the first time in forever, she wasn’t tormented by nightmares.  No Dark Wind haunted her dreams; in fact, she was too exhausted to dream at all.

She awoke from the best sleep of her life to find Drizzle curled up against her side, blue eyes bright and happy to see her.

“Um… good morning?”  She patted his head.  Had the Inversed slept too, or had it just wanted to cuddle?  She didn’t think the creatures needed to sleep.  This one seemed very different even for an Inversed, though.  He hugged her and then hopped off the bed, waiting by the door like a large, energetic dog ready for a walk.  She laughed and then stretched, smoothed out her ragged skirt, and headed out into the hallway.

She wanted to find Riku; her connection to the Castle guided her as surely as a compass.  The room she found him in seemed to be some kind of laboratory.

“This is certainly new,” she commented as she entered.  Tanks full of orange fluid lined the walls, labeled with letters and numbers that made no sense to her: R-1, R-2, R-3, No. _i…_

“What was that?”  Riku asked, not turning around from the large computer he was typing on.

“The Land of Departure never had a laboratory.  I didn’t create it when I set up the Castle’s defense mechanism, either.  Who has been using this place?”

“Wait, you mean you-- you’ve _been_ here before?”  He spun around, paying attention now.

“Of course.  I did tell you I was the Master of this castle.” She smiled a little, flipping through some notes on a table at the center of the room.  Reports of some kind.  Drizzle put his face close as if to sniff them.  “This place used to be part of the Land of Departure.  I trained under Master Eraqus here, with my friends Terra and Ven.”

“Ven?  Is that the one you’re trying to save?”

“No, that’s Van… that’s kind of a long story.  I will need to find Terra though afterwards, and find a way to restore Ven’s heart.”

Riku frowned.  “It sounds like you've got your work cut out for you.”

“I know.  What about you?  What have you been working on here?”

He pointed to the computer screen, which displayed a typed report on… time travel?  She skimmed through it, but a lot went over her head.  She had studied Stop spells, but she had never heard of magic that could actually turn time forward or back.  “Trying to figure out what we can about Xehanort’s plans.  To answer your earlier question, _he_ was using this place.  His Nobody Xemnas and Organization XIII, that is.”

Aqua barely heard the rest of his words.  All that blared in her mind was that one name:

Xehanort.

“...Master Aqua?  Are you alright?”  He peered at her quizzically.  Drizzle cuddled up to her side, pushing his head up under her arm.

“I- I-” She stuttered.  Dizziness swept over her; she was glad for the Inversed’s support.   _Xehanort…_ “I’m going to kill him,” she whispered.

“What?” Whether he hadn’t heard or simply didn’t believe her, she didn’t know.

Her eyes hardened.  She could feel the darkness stirring in her heart, but for once, she didn’t care.  “He’s the reason I was in the Realm of Darkness.  He possessed one of my best friends.  He shattered another’s heart and used him as a weapon.  The last he tortured and forced to fill the worlds with monsters.  

“I’m going to kill him.”

To her surprise, Riku’s face turned stony as well.  “I can support that.  But you might have to get in line.”

She shook her head.  She should be at the front of the line; she _was_ the line.  At least, her and her friends.   _Though it’s been over ten years.  Who else has he hurt in that time, because I wasn’t able to stop him?_

_Oh, light… could it even be because I saved him?_

She buried her face in Drizzle’s chest; he hugged her protectively. From that position, Riku wouldn’t be able to see her tears.

Eventually, he cleared his throat.  “Master Aqua… I think we should talk now.  You might hold the key to figuring out Xehanort’s plans.”

She discreetly wiped her eyes.  “And you might hold the key to saving Van.  Yes.  I will tell you what you want to know.”

XXX

It felt like hours before they both finished their stories.  Aqua felt deflated, like releasing the words had left a void in her chest.  Riku’s story had only torn the hole wider - he’d revealed that Terra wasn’t the only one that Xehanort had possessed.  He had been forced to fight his best friend while under the evil master’s control.  She supposed she could relate to that, unfortunately… it was a miracle that Van had been able to save her.  She could still hardly wrap her head around it; her heart would still need time to recover.  If it ever would.

“So,” she said while sitting on the cold laboratory floor.  “I suppose you do deserve a spot in line.”

“You could say that.”  He shrugged.  For having gone through everything he had, he seemed remarkably well put-together.  If he could survive that, then there was still hope for Terra.   _And still hope for me._ “Master Yen Sid says that it will take seven lights to destroy Xehanort, so we probably won’t need a line after all.”

“I hope I am still deserving of a spot in the light.”  She sighed, clenching a fist in her skirt.  “At this point I could almost believe Van has more light in him than I do.”  

She’d thought, wished, and desperately hoped that once she returned to the Realm of Light, the darkness in her heart would melt away.  Especially once she’d realized it was the Dark Wind all along.  But that monster wasn’t the only cause, she knew.  She’d had darkness before encountering it; why would it disappear after?  She could still feel the fear and targetless anger swirling within, like a storm waiting to break.  And now she didn’t have Van to help her control it...

“So, this Van guy.  He used to work with Xehanort? He used to use the darkness?”

“Yes, he did,” she admitted, her face heating in spite of herself.  She didn’t need to be embarrassed about Van’s past. Besides, she had already told him that.  Why did he have to bring it up again?  “But he’s changed, Riku.  Surely if what you told me is true, you can understand what that’s like.” _Possibly even more than I can._

“Believe me, I can.”  He smiled as he patted Drizzle’s arm.  She had explained about the Inversed, of course, and he seemed to accept the creature now.  He’d said the white Flood reminded him of some things called Dream Eaters.  “It’s actually comforting to know that someone else has escaped the darkness.  I’d be interested in meeting him.”

Aqua smiled back.  “He’s still a little rough around the edges, but he has the strongest heart of anyone I’ve met. I just hope I can get back to him in time…”

Riku nodded, rising from the kitchen table that they had retired to.  “We’ll make a plan as soon as the King returns.”

“We?”  She asked.  “You mean you’ll come too?”

“Why not?  The King and I have been in the Realm of Darkness longer than anyone except you and Van; I bet we can help.  Besides, I could use a break from research.  Lea can take a break from his training long enough to take my place.”

Aqua wasn’t sure who Lea was; she was hardly sure who this King was who had gone with Riku into the Realm of Darkness.  He had mentioned him in his tale, but of course trying to condense three years into the space of a few hours necessitated leaving out some details.

“That would be wonderful,” she replied, hope growing within her again, pushing away the darkness.  That was one thing she had learned from Van: where hope was, darkness couldn’t exist.  He had worked so hard to keep her hope alive.  

She clenched her hand around her Wayfinder.   _I hope you know I’m coming back for you._ Help or no help, she would bring him back.

“When do you expect the King will arrive?”  She asked.  Now that Riku wasn’t giving him any attention, Drizzle twitched over to her and laid his head over her shoulder.  She had to carefully push him out of her space; oddly cute as he was, he was even more oddly clingy.

“Riku?  Do we have guests?”  A cheerful voice reached them from the hallway.  To her surprise, Aqua immediately recognized it.  She stood, brushing past Drizzle, and ran to the doorway.

“Mickey?”  She glanced around, before remembering to look down.  Sure enough, there her friend was, staring up at her with a look of utter shock.  “Mickey!  It _is_ you!”

She knelt down to hug the mouse, but he skipped back.  “Who are…” Then his tall eyes widened.  “ _Aqua?”_

“Yes,” she replied with an elated laugh.  “It’s so good to see you!”  She looked over his outfit; aside from a little more red, it looked the same as she remembered.  His keyblade, however, was different - a simple gold-and-silver weapon had taken the place of Star Seeker.  “Riku says it’s been over ten years, but you haven’t aged a bit.”

“Gosh, Aqua, I could say the same for you.”  As he stared, she couldn’t help noticing the concern in his eyes.  And she couldn't help wondering if it was because she still looked haggard from her time in the darkness, or because of her suit. “I’m glad to see you safe and sound.  So, um... what happened to you?”

She sighed; the air leaving her lungs felt heavy with fatigue.  “It’s a long story.  Do you have the time?”

“‘Course I’ve got the time for you, Aqua!”  He replied, the bouncy cheer returning to his voice.  As he dismissed his keyblade, Drizzle poked his head through the doorway, and Mickey yelped.

“It’s okay!”  She explained quickly, splaying her arms out to protect the Inversed.  “He’s a friend.”

“But Aqua, I recognize that monster!  It looks like one of those-”

“Unversed,” she finished for him.  Drizzle twitched unhappily at the name.  Or at least, that was how she interpreted it; maybe she was reading too much into his actions.  For light’s sake, she’d already started calling him a _he._ “I know.  That’s part of the story.  Mickey… do you remember Vanitas?”

His forehead creased in an unusual expression of anger.  “What did that boy do to you?”

“No - It’s not what you’re thinking at all,” she replied quickly.  “He was in the Realm of Darkness too.  He saved my life.”

Mickey blinked, eyes becoming the size of saucers.  “He was there with you?  And you’re telling me he did _what_?”

She smiled, backing into the kitchen again.  “Like I said.  It’s a long story.

“But I think it’s a story worth telling.”

XXX

Riku cooked dinner for the three of them while Aqua relayed her travels in the Realm of Darkness for the second time.  Mickey, however, had many more questions than the young silver-haired man. The large wok of stir-fried chicken and vegetables was steaming aromatically by the time she finished answering them.  She thanked Riku graciously; she was already starving again.  Her sense of time was still distorted too, though that might be an effect of Castle Oblivion, as they’d told her this place was now called.

“Wow,” Mickey said when she finished, looking abashed.  “I’m sure sorry, Aqua.  If I’da known you were in there, I woulda come lookin’ for you myself.  When you never came back… well, we just thought…”

“I understand,” she replied in between inhaling bites of the delicious food.  Not very ladylike, she registered faintly.  After twelve or more years without eating in front of anyone but Van, and that infrequently, she supposed that was to be expected.  Riku and Mickey didn’t seem to mind, at least.

“I told her we could help rescue her friend,” Riku spoke up.  “I didn’t know that you knew him, Mickey.”

“Welp, _that’s_ a long story by itself.”  Mickey shuddered.  “Aqua, are you sure he wasn’t trickin’ you or something?  I still remember fighting him.  He, uh, didn’t seem like the friendly type.”

Drizzle pressed close to her; he seemed to know when people were talking bad about his master.  She almost thought she could feel his discomfort, but then again, maybe it was her own.  What had she expected?  All Mickey knew was the Vanitas who took over their friend and tried to recreate the X-Blade War.  He didn’t know the Van who had protected her, befriended her, saved her.

“I’m sure.”  Her voice came out colder than she meant it, and she winced.  “Sorry.  But you can trust me on this one.  I promise.”

“Well… I do trust ya, Aqua.”  He put on a smile, but she guessed he wasn’t completely convinced.  As would be expected.  Would she have believed it if she hadn’t lived it?  “If you say he’s your friend, then I guess we’d better help him, huh?”

“Thank you.”  She nodded and shoved another bite of food in her mouth.  Light, it felt good to have something real in her stomach.  “I mean it, Mickey.  You have no idea how much your help means to me.”

Now his smile looked more sincere; he even chuckled a little.  “Gosh, of course!  That’s what friends are here for!”

Riku smiled too, finishing off his plate with far more grace than she had.  “No one deserves to be trapped in the darkness.  We’ll find Vanitas.”

At that, she felt like an invisible weight dissolved around her.  Maybe it was the fact that Drizzle was no longer leaning on her, but she felt it was more than that.  For the first time since her escape, even for the first time since Van had expelled the Dark Wind from her, she felt her light truly return.  When her fingers brushed her Wayfinder, it glowed faintly at the touch.

_Hold on, Van.  I’m coming._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve decided I kind of like writing Mickey, only because his voice is so different from everyone else that it spices things up.  
> I think Riku and Van would end up being bros. (At least Riku thinks they’re going to be bros, he might change his mind when he realizes Vanitas is still kind of a jerk. ^^; )
> 
> Oh, and the poll is up on my profile! Go vote for your favorite Vanitas/Aqua story ideas! I allowed everyone to vote for 3, that doesn’t mean I’m actually writing three, I just wanted to let people pick more options so everyone doesn’t just vote for their own. The poll will be closed sometime in the next 2-3 weeks, at which point I will announce the winner! C: Also, for some of the vague ideas like “Please include Terra,” if any of those get enough votes, I will add those points into whichever one-shot I write. That’s another reason you can vote for 3 ideas if you want. Of course, you can only vote for one if you want too.
> 
> One thing I am super excited to do in this story is explore how Aqua reacts to her darkness, which is definitely still there. I got to explore Van’s light a lot in CaS, but I think this will be exciting to get to explore from Aqua’s perspective. There’s a lot going on in her head that she hasn’t had time to process yet.


	3. Technical Difficulties

After a few hours of brainstorming, Aqua, Riku, and Mickey had come up with a feeble skeleton of a plan.  They wouldn’t make the same mistake they had before and jump into the Realm of Darkness without preparing a way out; the first step would be to make sure whatever mode of entry they used would also provide an escape.  Riku had tentatively proposed dark corridors like Van had once been able to make, but Mickey wondered how stable those would be once inside the Realm of Darkness.  He’d taken something called a “Gummi Ship” to go ask Master Yen Sid, who was apparently still alive after all this time, too.  Aqua was half convinced the older Master was immortal.

In the meantime, Riku found her some soup and shampoo and not-so-subtly suggested that she take a bath.  That was fine by her; aside from her friends and the sun, which she still had yet to see, showers were probably the thing she’d missed most.

Aqua had never been so happy to see a bathroom.  Thankfully the same strange effects that had allowed her to survive without food in the Realm of Darkness had also paused her other bodily functions, so the lack of amenities there hadn’t been a problem.  The dark suit even worked to whisk the sweat away from her skin, allowing her to endure the time without showers even if she didn’t enjoy it.

However, now that she did have a bathroom, and her body was in fact functioning normally, she had a different problem: how in the light was she supposed to get out of this suit?

Having ordered Drizzle to stay outside, she stood in the whitewashed bathroom and tugged at the veins on her arms.  The material stretched just a little, like some combination of spandex and rubber.  She inspected the waist and the neck, but she couldn’t find any seams.  

“You would think magical clothing would take these kinds of situations into account,” she muttered to her reflection.  The pot in the kitchen had hardly done her image justice - she looked far worse.  Her eyes, though blue again, were nearly as dull as Ven’s had been when he first arrived in the Land of Departure.  When he had been unconscious.

Her hair was another beast entirely.  How had she slept with so much sand and salt matted in it?  Of course, she supposed she had grown used to that.  She ran her fingers through it, wincing when they encountered rough tangles.

And her suit… She had only seen her whole reflection in Van’s helmet before; she’d never realized how, well, _dark_ she looked.  Riku had been right to fear her.  Oddly, in spite of that fact, it felt right on her.  She hoped that wasn’t her darkness talking, but the navy and magenta veins seemed more like a part of her than her original outfits ever had.  Maybe it was because her old clothes had been such a patchwork job of hand-me-downs.  Or maybe it was because her suit literally _had_ come from a part of her.  

 _Or maybe it’s because it reminds me of Van,_ she thought with a slight smile.  It was sentimental of her, and redundant at that; she had plenty of other ways to remember her friend.

Still, at that thought, she unweaved the permanent blue color spell from her hair.  She would never turn her eyes gold again, but between her disheveled black hair and the dark suit…

“We were never really so different, were we?”  She whispered, touching the cool mirror.  “If only I didn’t have to fall into darkness to see it…”

She shook her head, casting the spell around her hair again.  Wishing wouldn't change anything, and even if it could, she wasn’t sure she would want to - except to have Van here with her, of course.  In spite of the challenges she’d faced, Aqua didn’t believe in regrets.  If she had, losing Terra and Ven would have crushed her; she never would have survived it.  Instead she chose to believe that everything happened for a reason.  All of her experiences wove together to create the person she was today.  A person that, in spite of her darkness, she was proud of.

She had finally looked past her stubborn pride to see her weaknesses.  If it hadn’t been for that, would she have ever seen Van’s strengths?

 _I was just as stubborn as he was.  I don’t think I ever apologized for that._ Well, she would have more than that to apologize for after all of this, she was sure.

Sighing, she returned to the problem at hand.  Maybe her distracted train of thought had helped after all, though - if this suit was made of her darkness, could she use her darkness to manipulate it?

The idea made her wince, but she couldn’t think of a better one.  Besides, she had been using darkness for the past few weeks; it could hardly do her more harm than the Dark Wind had, right?  It wasn’t like she was using it to hurt anyone.

As she searched the contents of her heart, she took deep, even breaths.  So long as she didn’t give the darkness an opening with her fear or anger, it wouldn't be able to rear up again… probably.  How badly did she need to use the bathroom?

...Very badly, actually.

Steeling herself, she reached down and seized her darkness.  Instantly nausea slammed into her, like her insides had been flipped upside-down.  She fought it back by imagining herself strangling the root of the sensation.  She couldn’t describe exactly how it worked; she understood why Van had had such a difficult time teaching her.  Darkness just didn’t make sense.

By now she’d had enough experience to do small things with it, though.  She felt the connection to her suit, felt each of the individual veins as if they carried her blood.

 _Recede_ , she commanded mentally, focusing on her midriff.  The tendrils obeyed the firm order and unknit underneath her belt.  She cut off the darkness as soon as it was done; she’d learned by experience that if she held it without giving it any specific commands, it was more likely to try to act on its own.

She’d never thought she would need to know that. She’d never thought she would need to know anything about the darkness, honestly.   _Maybe if the Master had taught us more about it, I would have been able to recognize and fight off the Dark Wind._

The thought felt traitorous, but it was true.  She simply hadn’t been prepared.  If it hadn’t been for Van’s knowledge of the darkness, she would have died.

 _When I have an apprentice, I’ll teach her about both,_ she decided, surprising herself.  Wasn’t darkness everything she hated?  The cause of everything she’d lost?

It was.  But she couldn’t fight something she didn’t understand.  Everyone had some darkness in them, she now realized, and it would only hurt her to keep hiding from it.

At least, those were the thoughts she told herself as she used the restroom and showered for the first time in years.  

Though the soap and water finally washed the filth from her body, they couldn’t quite wash the doubts from her heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I basically wrote a chapter just about a character trying to use the bathroom. (I blame Shallan.)
> 
> This story will probably have some shorter chapters like this, kind of like interludes if you will. This isn’t exactly a normal multichapter; after all, all of you should already know the ending. So I probably won’t waste too much time on the logistical things, like writing out all the conversations where Aqua and co. figure out their plans, just the more important ones. (I say as I wrote /this/ chapter...)
> 
> In other news, don’t forget to vote on the poll if you haven’t already! -> fanfiction.net/~taliax


	4. Shards of Memory

Aqua’s body yearned for sleep; her heart itched to fight.  She and Drizzle swept through the Castle in a storm of blue and white, destroying Soldiers and Red Nocturnes and Wizards as easily as if they were cobwebs.  A Defender blocked their path; she spun arm in arm with the Inversed, catching it from its unprotected side and disintegrating it into black smoke.  It clogged her lungs, tugged on her memories of the Dark Wind.  She _would not_ panic.  She was a Keyblade Master; she could handle a little fear.  Casting Aeroga, she cleared the room, then picked up a card that was left behind.

A memory, just like they always were.  For the past three days while waiting for Mickey to return, she had cleared enough rooms of Heartless to gain a whole deck of them.  She wasn’t sure why she kept picking them up.  Part of her wanted to set them all on fire.

All of them depicted the strange blue-streaked rocks of the Realm of Darkness.  As if she didn’t have any other memories. Riku hadn’t been able to explain why none of the cards displayed the Land of Departure, or Radiant Garden, or Neverland, or any of the other pleasant worlds she’d visited.

Sighing, she tucked the card into her belt next to her command deck.  At least she didn’t have to use the cards to fight, like Riku and Mickey did.  Being the Master of the Castle did have a few benefits.

Drizzle dove underground, becoming a puddle that was nearly invisible against the white floor.  She jumped when he burst out right in front of her, his antennae twitching as if he wanted to say something.

“What’s the matter?”  She asked.  In response, the Inversed plopped down on the ground.  “Are you… tired?”

He nodded emphatically.  They had been destroying the Heartless for… quite some time now, she thought.  This place confused her sense of time nearly as much as the Realm of Darkness had.

“I suppose we can take a break,” she conceded, sitting down cross-legged beside him even though she was anxious to keep moving.

As long as she kept moving, she would wear herself out enough to sleep at night.  As long as she kept moving, she left her mind no time to think.

No thinking about how many days it had been.  No thinking about the monster Van would be fighting now.  No thinking about how she still had barely an inkling of how to save him.

She rested her head on Drizzle’s shoulder.  “You don’t happen to have any ideas, do you?”

He shrugged, making her head bob up and down.  Why did she always ask him?  He didn’t know anything.  Except maybe how to make her feel better.  It was strange how quickly she had become used to the white Flood’s quirks, like how he would stroke her hair like she was his pet, rather than the other way around.

_Now I’m calling the Inversed my pet?_ She almost laughed; that would have annoyed Van even more than when she’d called him sweet.

He _was_ sweet, even if he would rather die than admit it.  Saving her had proved that.

She wiped a hand down her face, as if she could physically push back the tears pricking her eyes.  This had been exactly what she’d wanted to avoid, the reason she’d spent her four useless days in the Realm of Light destroying as many Heartless as she could in between helping Riku with his research.  Once, she would have loved digging through the Castle’s library, piecing together clues and theories.  That was what she _should_ be doing.  Instead she came to the depths of the Castle to slay monsters.

_It’s the only thing I know how to do anymore._ Destroying Heartless and endless walking had been her life for so long, she found it incredibly difficult to sit still long enough even to read a book anymore.  Besides, finding any new rooms with the Organization’s research would probably be the most useful thing she could do for Riku and Mickey.  And those chambers would lie through rooms and rooms of Heartless.  That was the justification for her wandering, anyway; she had yet to find anything useful.

She had, however, found what she somehow knew to be her old room.  Now it was just another bleak chamber teeming with Heartless.  She had destroyed them out of habit, but had left immediately afterward.  There was nothing left for her there.

Drizzle hugged her silently.  The action was enough to crack the weak barrier holding back her tears.

“Is there anything left for me anywhere?”  She asked, letting the small beads of water roll freely.

She was home.  That should have been enough.  But what was home without her friends?  Ven unconscious, Terra who knew where, and Van…

“He made even the Realm of Darkness feel like home. I can’t believe I could wish I was back there…” She fingered her Wayfinder, desperately wishing it would glow. Even though the Dark Wind no longer filled her, it still wouldn’t respond.

That was when her hand accidentally brushed the deck of cards she had tucked into her belt.  Cards made of her memories.  Cards printed with the image of the Realm of Darkness.

Making a hasty decision, she plucked one of the cards from her belt and stood, shaking off Drizzle’s embrace as she shook off her tears.

“I can’t hide from my memories forever.”  It would be as useless as hiding from her darkness.  She had tried shoving down both, fighting towards the future rather than dwelling on the past.  But her heart wouldn’t let her.  It kept dragging her back, wanting to drown her in the memories of her time with Vanitas - both the good and the bad.

“Maybe it’s about time I gave my heart what it wants,” she said, holding the card to her chest.  Then she strode to the nearest tall door and raised it before her.  Light enveloped the door, and it slowly swung open.

The light was a charade - when she stepped through, she found herself in sudden dimness.  Of course, she had expected that.  This was her memory of the Realm of Darkness.  

Her eyes adjusted quickly; the soft shades of grey were a welcome change from Castle Oblivion’s blinding walls.  Blinking, she realized she could pick out exactly where they were: in the emaciated forest, right outside where she and Van had escaped the underground.  The doorway back replaced the crack in the vine-covered rock they had once burst through.  No Heartless appeared that she could see.

Slowly she stepped forward, resting her hand against the rough bark of a dead tree.  It felt so solid, so real.  Could this whole place really be made of her memories?  Stepping into the dark world… for a moment, it was as if she’d never left, as if her brain refused to believe Castle Oblivion was real.  She was in the Realm of Darkness; she had always been in the Realm of Darkness; she always would be.  The Dark Wind was a part of her, and always would be…

She shook her head violently, pounding her fist against the tree.  It shook with a dull echo.  “This isn’t who I am… I don’t… I don’t belong here…”

So why did she feel like she did?  Why did she feel drawn back, as if part of her heart was still in that dreadful place?

“Van…” That had to be why.  Could she really miss him so terribly that the Realm of Darkness would seem appealing?  Her mind said that that was ridiculous.  Her heart… for the second time in her life, she didn’t really understand it.  And the first had been when the Dark Wind had controlled her.

She bit down on the inside of her lip, forcing away that memory.  That was the one thing she wouldn’t face.  She couldn’t, not yet.  The way that monster had used her…

Drizzle rushed to her side as she sunk to her knees.  There was just so _much,_ so many thoughts and fears and wishes, her heart couldn’t contain them all.  It made her wish _she_ could create Unversed, to shove the raging emotions somewhere else, anywhere else.  

She didn’t have more tears to release, but her body shook anyway.  Drizzle patted her back in vain; no simple touch would heal the scars lacing her heart.

“I… I need counseling, or something…”

A snort sounded behind her, making her literally jump.  “What kind of counseling could help with _this?”_

Aqua knew that voice.  She could never forget it.  Still, as she slowly turned around, she could barely believe her eyes.

“Van…?”

Sure enough, there he stood, arms crossed and with his typical smirk gracing his face.  He raised an eyebrow, in an expression she never understood how he pulled off.  “What, were you expecting someone else?”

She just stared, the shock slowing her limbs, until she finally snapped out of it long enough to stumble forward and throw her arms around him.  He was quick to hug her back, though he asked, “What’s going on?  You’re not sick again, are you?”

“Van, I thought you could be _dead!_ Is it so surprising that I might want to hold you?”  She didn’t let go; if she did, he would see the tears stinging her eyes - tears of joy as the knot in her chest finally started to loosen.  “How did you get here?  How did you escape?”

“Escape? You mean from the tunnels?”  He pulled back, looking at her as if she’d sprouted Shadow antennae.  “You dragged me out like of there like a dead body.  Scraped up my face, too,” he muttered, rubbing his cheek, though she didn’t see any scratches there.

Her arms fell to her sides as her heart froze again.  He didn’t remember; why wouldn’t he remember?  Unless… of course.  This illusion was made of her memories - why shouldn’t that illusion include Van?  

“You’re not real, are you.”

His face hardened into something between a scowl and a pout.  “Hey, I may just be half a heart, but I’m just as real as you are.”

He’d certainly _felt_ real.  But so had the blackened tree.  “Do you remember creating this Inversed?”  She asked, pointing to Drizzle, who had sat down under the tree and made himself comfortable.  He didn’t react much to Van’s presence, which should have been clue enough.

“I… no.”  He frowned, stepping towards the large Flood, who finally looked up at him with lazy eyes.  When he put his hand on Drizzle’s head, the Inversed jumped up in surprise just as Van recoiled. He backed away like the Inversed might try to eat him. “That… that shouldn’t be possible.”

“What shouldn’t?”  She asked, patting Drizzle on the back to calm him down.

“It’s made of…” He looked choked off, then shook his head.  “‘Can’t tell you.”

Her hands went to her hips.  “Why not?”

“I don’t know. I just can’t.”  He shrugged.  “He’ll protect you, though, no matter what.  I can tell you that.  Now come on, let’s get as far away from that tunnel as we can.”

She glanced back; the “tunnel” was still a Castle Oblivion-sized door.  He couldn’t see it.

“You’re not the real Van.”

He spun, anger making his eyes flash wolfishly.  She hadn’t seen that expression on him in a while, at least, not directed at her.  She certainly hadn’t missed it.  “Then what am I?”

“You’re the Van from my memories,” she whispered, keeping her gaze fixed on the door.  “I wanted to hope, but… no.  I should go.”  This idea had been a mistake.  It wasn’t right for her to be here, with this shadow of her friend.  She needed to be focusing on finding the real one.

“No!”  He called out, reaching to grab her hand.  “Aqua - don’t go,” he murmured.

Memory or not, the hurt on his face was real.  His gold eyes pled with her, held her as surely as his strong grip.

When she pulled her hand free, she felt as if a piece of her heart was still left behind.  Her voice was low as she replied, “If I’d had the choice, I never would have left you.  I’m sorry.”

Then, before she could look back and have her heart broken again, she ran through the door.

XXX

“Aqua?”

She looked up from where she had been listlessly poking at a plate of rice.  Riku was staring at her from across the table, but she didn’t have anything to say to him.

“Aqua,” he said again, more forcefully.  “What happened today?”

She shook her head.  After fleeing the illusion of the dark realm, she’d hidden in her room and cried most of the day.   _Pathetic,_ Van would’ve said.  And he would’ve been right.

What was wrong with her?  She was back in the light.  That was supposed to be the end of her problems, her happily ever after!  Instead she felt like a ticking time bomb, just as much as she’d been under the Dark Wind’s power.  Only this time, the only person she could blame was herself.

As much as she’d tried to hide it, Riku had caught on to her instability quickly.  At first he had thought it best to leave her to prowl the Castle alone, but apparently his philosophy was changing.  “Aqua, I know what it feels like to be influenced by the darkness.  You can talk about it if that’s what you need to do.  Believe me, I’m not going to judge you.”

Again she shook her head.  “It’s not that.”  Riku meant well, but she had only just met him, and he had plenty of problems of his own to deal with.  The pile of papers he'd brought to the kitchen table proved that.

“Is it about Vanitas, then?”  He asked when she didn’t offer any more explanation.

Her skin pricked; did he have to interrogate her?  “I don’t want to talk about it,” she replied tersely.

“Fine,” he said, raising his hands in a placating gesture and rising from the table.  “I’ll see if I can make contact with Mickey’s gummi ship.  Hopefully we can get you off of this world soon.”

“...Thank you,” she said reluctantly.  He had backed off so quickly, she suddenly felt guilty for her tone.  None of this was Riku’s fault.  If blame could be placed on anyone, it was her.

He left, and then it was just her, Drizzle, and her barely-touched plate of fried rice.  It was actually quite good.  It was a pity that now that her initial starvation had worn off, she didn’t feel up to eating much.

“Alone again…” She belatedly regretted pushing Riku away. Drizzle fidgeted at her side, as if to remind her of his presence.  “Except for you, of course.”

He nodded at that.  She wished the creature could talk, if only to spare her from the loneliness.  Cute as he was, however, that would probably be incredibly creepy.

She sluggishly cocooned her plate in Saran Wrap and stored it in the refrigerator. Then, without any sense of purpose, she set off to wander the halls.  Heartless popped up now and then, but in this more frequently traveled section of the Castle, they were little more nuisance than bugs.  Just like bugs, however, they always seemed to show up again after being killed.  An endless, pointless cycle…

“I can’t go on like this,” she finally admitted to herself, resting on her blade after slicing through a Darkball.  “I should talk to Riku. Maybe he can help somehow…”

Suddenly Drizzle shook his head, and she frowned.  “What is it?”

He zipped up to her, and she almost thought she was being attacked - but then he just snagged something from her belt in his strange handless arm.  Sliding back, he held up the object.

“Another Realm of Darkness card?”  She almost had burned them, after the events earlier in the day, but at the last minute she had decided against it.  “You don’t think I should go _back,_ do you?”

His antennae perked up, and he nodded, reaching out to hand her the card.

“No,” she objected.  “That place - it’s not real.  Van’s not really there.”  Going there again would be like eating his Prize Pod ice cream - it would be sweet for the moment, but it could never truly fill her.

Drizzle nodded more vigorously, still proffering the crown-edged card.  Why would he want her to go back?  He had shaken his head at her idea of talking to Riku…

“Then… Do you want me to talk to my memory of Van?”

He jumped, throwing his skinny arms in the air in a silent cheer.  It was enough to drag a tiny laugh out of her.  She still didn’t take the card, though.

“Drizzle, I’m not sure that's such a good idea.  It’s… really hard for me to see him.  I mean, I want to see him, but for _real._ Doing this…” How could she explain it?  The closest approximation she could manage was that it felt like cheating on him.  Her face burned at the nonsensical thought.

Drizzle wasn’t listening.  Apparently realizing Aqua wasn’t going to take the card, he became a glowing puddle and slid over to the door himself.

“Drizzle!”  She shouted, running for him, but he had already somehow managed to activate the door.  The card flashed away, and the Inversed was enveloped in light.

_Well, I guess I don’t have a choice, now._ At least this time she knew what to expect.  This time she would be stronger.  Steeling herself, she followed the disobedient creature through the door.

Again her eyes relaxed at the transition.  Rather than appearing in the shriveled forest this time, however, she found herself standing completely sideways.  She yelped and stepped back from the edge of the floating platform. All around was endless abyss. If she fell here in the illusion, would it be the same as falling in the real Realm of Darkness?  She shuddered at the thought.

Drizzle didn’t seem to care; he sat at its edge with his little legs swinging off the side.

“You are not a very good minion,” she muttered to him, intending to haul him up by the scruff of his neck (assuming the Inversed had scruff?) and drag him back through the door.  Before she could, Van’s voice interrupted.

“What are you doing to my Inversed?”  He smacked her hand away from Drizzle and stared up at her with bafflement in his eyes.

Despite her knowledge, her heart constricted just as it had before.  Light, this illusion looked just like him!  How had she memorized his unruly hair, each spike sticking up at its own angle?  How did had her mind constructed his suit, woven of hundreds of veins of darkness?

She didn’t question how she remembered his eyes.  Gold and piercing, they were the first thing she had noticed when he’d revealed his face.  Those eyes had terrified her, interrogated her, teased her, comforted her.

All her mental fortitude amounted to nothing - before she knew it, she was sobbing again.  Kneeling on the sideways platform, she cried out, “I’m a _Keyblade Master,_ for light’s sake!  Why- why am I--?”  She hiccupped pitifully, burying her face in her hands.  “Just go away!  Leave me alone!”

“Sh...shut up,” he murmured, kneeling in front of her.  She knew by now that that was pretty much the best he could do at comforting.  “Did I hurt you?”

“What?”  She said through a sniffle.  “N-no!  I-- agh! I am so _pathetic!”_

“What the-- Aqua, what’s gotten into you?  Are you sick again?”

“ _No,_ I am not _sick!”_ Why did he keep asking that?  “Just because I’m upset at being _possessed_ and that my best friend is fighting for his life right now and I can’t do anything to help him doesn’t mean I’m _sick!”_

“I… uh…” At a loss for words, he scooted over and placed an arm around her back.  She desperately wanted to lean into him, but she couldn’t.  She couldn’t let herself forget he was an illusion, or else… who knew what she would do?

Finally, she managed to get her crying under control.  She touched her puffy eyes, and for once, she was almost glad this Van was just an illusion.  But even if he was… maybe talking with him like Drizzle wanted would still help. She was already here, after all, and she was a firm believer that talking about problems helped… usually.  She had a difficult time following her own advice lately.

As if reading her mind - considering he was made from her memories, maybe he actually was - Van said, “Tell me what’s going on.”

“Do you promise to believe me if I do?”  She asked, remembering the other illusion’s reaction.

“Aqua, of course I’ll believe you.”  Exasperation tinged his voice.  “I don’t think you could lie to save your life.”

“What if I told you that I was possessed by the Dark Wind, you sacrificed yourself to save me from the Realm of Darkness, and now you’re an illusion I made out of my memories?”

He blinked.  “...Okay, I still don’t think you can lie, but you might’ve hit your head too hard trying one of your cartwheels.”

She sighed; this was probably pointless anyway.  He was a memory; she might as well be talking to herself.  She might be less insane if she actually _was_ talking to herself.

“Nevermind,” she backtracked, realizing that wasn’t the most important question, anyway.  Yes, she was concerned about Van, the real one, but there was nothing this Van could do about that.  She was still traumatized over the Dark Wind too, but she wasn’t ready to face those memories yet.

So she chose a different topic, one thing that wouldn’t stop itching at her despite her attempts to rationalize it.  Whether he was a memory or not, it might be something Van could help her with.

“My darkness,” she said, forcing herself to look him in the eyes.  “If it didn’t - I mean, if it doesn’t get better when I - when we get out of here… what should I do?”

He snorted, in a way that was so _him_ that it hurt.  “Don’t you think we should worry about getting out in the first place?”

“Van, I’m serious.  This is important,” she insisted.

“I just don’t think you need to worry about it,” he said, though from the way his eyes dodged hers, he wasn’t as sure as he claimed.  “Light is who you are, Aqua.  This stupid place can’t take that from you.”

_Yes, but darkness was who you were,_ she thought with a frown.  No, she was being too pessimistic; she should take that as a sign of hope.  If someone as dark as him had come to the light, surely she could return.  If only she knew _how._

“You’re probably right,” she said carefully, “but will you please answer me anyway?  If I were to fall into the darkness…”

“That’s not what’s happened,” he cut her off sternly.  His arm grew tense around her.  “Unless I missed something, you didn’t _choose_ the darkness. That means it can’t hold onto you forever.”

“But _what if it does!”_ She finally burst out, throwing his arm off.  Drizzle jumped at her yell, but thankfully didn’t fall off the platform.

She expected him to shout back.  To tell her she was being stupid.  That she was fine, that it was all in her head.

Instead, he just looked at her with intensity in his gaze.  “Then I’ll be here to bring you back.”

Her throat constricted, as if it had suddenly turned traitor and decided to choke her.  The air had fled her lungs; her whole body tried to go limp.  In spite of all that, she wanted to scream.  But she couldn’t.  So without another word, she stood and fought the dizzying nature of the platform long enough to reach the door standing unsupported in its center.

Van called her name the whole time.  For the second time that day, she didn’t look back.

XXX

Something was wrong.  Riku could smell it - a sickening stench, like rotting fruit back on the islands. It wasn’t nearly as bad as Ansem’s smell, but it seemed like a watered-down version of something similar.

Naturally, he followed it.  It took him far away from his intended destination of Castle Oblivion’s library, but honestly, he was glad for a break from research.  Being a Keyblade Master wasn’t a glamorous job, he’d found out.  But he was used to that.  Keyblade Master or not, Sora would always be the hero; Riku was the one who worked quietly in the background and made sure his friend had the tools he needed.  Right now that tool would be more information on Xehanort.  If only Aqua had been able to tell him more about the dark Master… but he wasn’t going to force her in her current mental and emotional state.  If Riku knew anything about girls, it was that you didn’t mess with them when they were upset.

At least she had mentioned that her friend Vanitas might have more information on Xehanort than her.  Apparently he had been the man’s _apprentice,_ of all things.  Riku could only imagine what Xehanort would have taught him.

Before long Riku pushed open a door, only to be greeted with a sight and stench unlike any he’d faced since his Mark of Mastery.

“What in the-” In the center of the room, an ethereal violet pillar swirled like the eyewall of a hurricane.  The dark energy flared halfway to the high ceiling.  Bizarrely, Aqua’s pet was fighting as if it wanted to go _inside_ it.

Then he heard the scream.  He snapped out of his trance and ran towards it with Way to the Dawn bared.

_I shouldn’t have left her alone,_ he berated himself. She was a Master, and Mickey trusted her; how could he have known she would find her way into danger so quickly?

It didn’t matter; what mattered was getting her out of that dark pillar.  Unfortunately, Riku still wasn’t skilled with light spells.  How else could he neutralize it?

Aqua screamed again.  He could see her silhouette now, keyblade raised high overhead and clutched with two hands.  The Flood was trying to pull her out by the fringe of her skirt-thing, but the pillar moved with her, as if… as if it was coming _from_ her.

As it turned out, he didn’t have to do anything.  The darkness finally receded, dying off like a fire out of fuel.  Aqua collapsed into the Flood’s arms.  Riku approached them carefully, mind reeling.

_I know what she told me, but…_ that was a _lot_ of darkness.  Judging by the smell, it wasn’t as much as his own had once been, but that was a small comfort.

“Nngh…” she groaned, eyes blinking open.  “That… was a bad idea…”

“I would say so,” Riku said, dismissing his keyblade and crossing his arms.  “What in the worlds did you do?”

She winced, and her pet helped her to her feet.  What had she named it again?  Drizzle?  Well, Sora had given some of their Dream Eaters worse names…

“Are my eyes golden?” she asked immediately, ignoring his question.

“No,” he replied with a raised eyebrow.  Her eyes were as blue as they had been when they first met.  “Should they be?”

“No.  No, thank the light…” She sighed in relief.  Drizzle still supported most of her weight.  “I’m sorry.  I was just so angry, and hurt and confused… I had to try to get rid of the darkness.”

“It looks more like the darkness was trying to get rid of you.”  He looked her over, but aside from the sweat caking her hair and face, she seemed unhurt.

“I know…” After a moment of internal struggle, she said, “Riku, could I ask a favor of you?”

“Depends.”  He shrugged.  “What is it?”

She swallowed.  “I… I need help fighting my darkness.  I thought it might go away when Van got the Dark Wind out of me, but...”

He nodded, though inside he was wondering if he was up to the task.  He liked to think that he had valiantly fought his darkness, but the Kingdom Hearts Encoder explosion had played a big part too.  “I know it’s not that simple.  I had to fight my darkness for a couple of years after Ansem - Xehanort - was gone.”

That seemed to crush the light in her eyes.  Maybe that hadn’t been the smartest thing to say to someone who was clearly already having a rough day.

“But, I was mostly alone,” he clarified. “Mickey and I will be here for you.”   _That is, if he ever gets back from the Mysterious Tower…_ Mickey had a habit of disappearing from time to time; it was only natural when he had the duties of both a King and a Keyblade Master.  Still, it wasn’t like him to take this long when he’d promised Aqua he would help quickly.  And it certainly wasn’t like him to not answer calls to his gummi ship.

She nodded.  “Thank you, Riku.”

Though she smiled, her eyes were distant, as if she were looking through him.  Her pet’s eyes on the other hand seemed to see straight through him in a different way.  Like it was trying to decide if he was good enough to help its master.

What a weird thought.  He shook it away, but he still couldn’t help wondering: what in the worlds had he gotten himself into?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was really hard to write for some reason. Maybe because it’s just strange to write Aqua feeling weak, but she’s still been put through the emotional meat grinder lately. She’ll get better in time.
> 
> I think the real question is what is Mickey up to? *raises eyebrow*
> 
> As for why Van can’t tell Aqua about Drizzle, I’m not sure if it will show up so I’ll go ahead and explain. Aqua’s subconscious knows that Drizzle is made from love, but she can’t process that consciously yet. So because of that, her memory-Van knows, but he isn’t able to physically tell her. Her mind literally stopped him. CO’s a funky place.


	5. Letter

Aqua guiltily admitted that Riku was a better teacher than Van.  She should've been more grateful; with his instructions on exactly how to use certain dark spells, she was able to more safely release the tension that still built up inside her.  He also gave her some meditation exercises that helped dampen her darkness before it reached a boiling point.  Those exercises, things like holding the images of the people she loved in her mind or picturing her favorite peaceful place, seemed to pull some of her old light back into her.  Over those next few days, she started to feel almost like her old self again.

Maybe that was what felt wrong.  Van was still in trouble, and here she was focusing on fixing herself!  Where was Mickey?  He should have been back days ago…!

She paced the length of the library.  These weren’t the tall oak bookshelves that she knew; they were as sterile and white as everything else in Castle Oblivion.  A thick layer of dust betrayed the fact that most of the books hadn’t been touched in ages.  Even if she had been in the mood to read, they were thick scientific volumes that even she would have had a hard time digesting.

“I told you, I don’t know when he’ll be back,” Riku repeated for what had to have been the tenth time.  And that was just today.  “I managed to contact Master Yen Sid, but he said that Mickey left days ago.”

“What?”  She paused, and Drizzle, who had been following close behind, bumped into her.  “When did you talk to him? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t want you to worry, but you were clearly worrying anyway.”  He rubbed his temples.  “I’m sorry about your friend, but there is honestly nothing I can do right now but wait.”

She wanted to tear at her hair.  Oh, just  _ wait!   _ As if Van wasn’t fighting for his life this very instant!  With the time distortion between here and the Realm of Darkness, he had to still be fighting, didn’t he?  She had come up with the theory that Drizzle would know if anything happened.  He was made of Van’s emotions; if Van were… if he were to die… surely the Inversed would have some kind of reaction.

Regardless of that reassurance, if she was trapped in this Castle much longer, her darkness was going to burst out again in spite of her controls.  She had never been this impatient before.   _ Is this just going to be who I am from now on?  Impatient, angry, ready to snap at people who are only trying to help me? _

She forced herself to breathe deeply, counting the seconds between inhaling and exhaling.  That had been something Van had taught her that Riku actually agreed with.  It was also the technique that seemed to work best despite its simplicity.  Drizzle patted her back in the meantime, and she reached up to rub his head.  A low rumble came from him; her eyes whipped up to his face.

“Did you just…  _ purr?” _

In answer, the Inversed made the noise again, a little louder.  It did in fact sound like a pleased cat.

“That Flood gets stranger every day,” Riku muttered to himself.  His face was still stuck in a thick book that looked dense as an encyclopedia.

“I have to agree with that.”  Purring… could Drizzle ever reach the point where he would be able to talk?  It was probably too much to hope for, but considering she didn't have much  _ else  _ to hope for right now, she held onto it.

Sighing, she went back to her pacing.  It just felt better to be walking, even if she didn’t have anywhere specific to walk to.  Eventually, though, she noticed that Riku hadn’t turned a page in a while, and was actually staring at her over the top of his book.

“Am I bothering you?”  She asked sheepishly.  He grimaced.

“Don’t worry about me.  This research would be difficult regardless of what you do or don’t do.”

“That’s no reason for me to make things harder on you.”  She forced herself to sit down, though Drizzle kept pacing, as if trying to release her anxiety for her.  “Is there anything I can do to help?”

Riku shook his head, then ran his fingers through his bangs and exhaled deeply.  “Do you know the spells for tracking someone across worlds or for opening corridors of light?”

“What?”  She asked in confusion.  “Wait… tracking and corridors… are you working on how we can find Van?”

He shrugged.  “I’m still partially working on our Xehanort problem.  He used some kind of tracking spell related to the Recusant’s Sigil; I’d like to know if there’s any way to reverse it to find out where he is now.  That’s unlikely to work any time soon though, so I thought we might as well use it to find your friend.”

Aqua slunk down in her chair.  Riku didn’t even know Van, and yet he was doing more to help him than she could. “Thank you, Riku.  Really.  I’ve just come bursting into your life, and you’ve been so helpful to me…”

“I’m kind of used to it, honestly.  Don’t worry about it.”

It was in her nature to worry.  Usually not excessively, and never to the point where it stopped her from acting, but she couldn't deny it.  Her friends had all been a source of worry for her for so long now…  _ And now I’m worried about myself, too.  It was easier when they were all I had to worry about… _

Well, maybe she couldn’t do anything for her friends or for herself right now, but she could try to do something for Riku.

“I’m not sure what kind of tracking spell you’re talking about, but I know something about connections.”  She loosened the cord of her Wayfinder from around her belt.  “I made these charms for me and my friends.  Somehow while we were in the Realm of Darkness, Ven’s found its way to us and opened up a door to the light.”

“Really…” Riku mused.  “When Sora and I escaped, it was because a letter from Kairi washed up on the beach.”

His words quickly distracted her from the tracking spell problem.  “If both of those things worked, do you think we could send him something?”  She asked eagerly.

“I don’t see why not.”  He shrugged.  He certainly didn’t look as excited about the idea as she felt.  “I’ll see if I can contact Kairi.  Maybe she can tell us how she sent the letter.”

Wonderful.  More calls.  Kairi...  Riku had mentioned that name before, and it had tickled something in the back of her mind.  It still did, yet she still couldn’t place it.

“I’ll look for something to send while you find out.”

She practically leapt out of the chair.  Did her feet really itch to move that badly?  She couldn’t keep the spring out of her step, or the smile off her face.  Maybe Riku didn’t have too much faith in the idea, but it felt good to have a direction again.  She belatedly realized that she had basically ignored his question about tracking spells and corridors of light, but she would have plenty of time to ponder on that.  They still didn’t know when Mickey would return, after all.

Drizzle kept at her heels as she navigated the hallways, unsure what she was looking for but trusting the Castle to take her there.  The Heartless had appeared less and less frequently each day since she’d arrived, as if they knew she was here to evict them.  Today she barely had to call down a few bolts of Thundaga on some straggling Blue Nocturnes.

After crossing through a few rooms, she ended up in what must be her intended destination.  At least, it was a dead end, and it looked slightly different from the usual assortment of large squarish chambers with their various platforms and steps.  This one was actually rather small, and - was that a window?  While she had seen some windows from the outside, this was her first time looking out from within the Castle.  She stepped over and placed her hands against the glass, eyes straining through its yellow tint.  Of course, there wasn’t much to see - a few skewed turrets stabbed out into the darkness below, but beneath that was just a formless void.  No sign of the forests and mountains she once knew; no sign of the sun.

Sighing, she turned away from the window and towards the only other object of interest in the room: a small white writing desk.  She brushed her hand across it, feeling the swirling grain of the wood.  So familiar, and so strange.  There was no texture of paint; it was as if the wood itself was bone white.

Through the thin membrane of her suit, her fingertips picked up on a clue that her eyes had missed.  A series of small scars in the wood.  No, not scars - letters.

“Oh, Terra.”  She smiled, shaking her head fondly.  Who would’ve guessed she’d be thankful for his vandalism?  This had once been her desk.  She still remembered how angry her younger self had been when he had carved his name there.  The rich brown hardwood was now white somehow, but the scratched-in name made it recognizable.  She’d thought that all of her belongings were gone, but this made her wonder if the Castle’s transformation had instead scattered them across the different floors and rooms.  What other things of hers could be floating around, whitewashed beyond recognition? Knowing the Castle, if she really wanted to find them, the halls would lead her there.

But that wasn’t her purpose at the moment.  Castle Oblivion had brought her here for a reason; there was something she could send to Van here.  She dug through the drawers on one side of the desk, while Drizzle pilfered the other.  She had to stop him when he started tossing all of their contents over his shoulders.

“No no no,” she scolded, catching a bottle of ink right before it hit the ground.  Considering the ink itself had turned white, however, it probably wouldn’t have made too much of a mess anyway.  She carefully set it on the desk and began cleaning up the Flood’s mess.  Most of it was just paper - frustratingly blank paper.  She thought one of the notebooks might have been her old journal, but if it was, her record was now vain.

She shook her head.  It was such a small thing, her journal, but it seemed to represent something more.  She couldn’t recover the pieces of her old life any more than she could recover the bleached words.

_ It doesn’t matter,  _ she told herself.  All her thoughts from back then seemed so silly now, anyway.  Learning a new spell, hoping she wouldn’t have the kitchen on her chore list, books she’d been reading… She definitely had bigger worries now.

Drizzle scooped a few shards of glass out of a drawer before she shooed him away again.  Those had been unused pieces for the Wayfinders.  Other than a few more craft supplies and papers, her desk was unsurprisingly empty.  She’d never had very many personal belongings.  While she was sentimental, Terra and Ven hadn’t been; she only had a few gifts from them, and those weren’t in her desk.

“I suppose I could just write a letter.”  It wasn’t the most creative option, but it was one that Riku had proven worked.  Considering the only other object that had found its way to the Realm of Darkness was Ven’s Wayfinder, and there was no way she would risk losing hers, a letter would have to do.

Drizzle hovered over her shoulder as she uncorked the ink… only to remember that it had turned white.  Well, that wasn’t much of a problem.  While she didn’t know how to restore words to the pages, her color magic could take care of something as simple as ink.  She stuck her finger in the small bottle, and a rainbow shimmer passed through the liquid before it settled on a dark blue.  She scrounged for one of her fountain pens, refilled it, and… realized she had absolutely no idea what to write.

She glanced over her shoulder and found her nose inches from Drizzle’s face. “Could you give me some space, please?”

The large Flood shrugged, zipped over to the window, and plopped down under it.  Without him looming over her, maybe it would be a little easier to think.  She leaned against the desk, wishing Castle Oblivion’s strange magic had provided her with a chair, too.

The point of the letter wasn’t really its contents; it was simply a focus point, something to forge another connection between her and Van and somehow open a new door.  But to do that, she had to have  _ something  _ to say.  No, that was the wrong problem.  She had  _ too  _ much to say, so many thoughts jumbling together, none of them could find their way out.  Maybe putting them to paper would be as helpful for her as she hoped it would be for him.

Smoothing a blank sheet in front of her, she decided to start with the first things that came to mind.  It wasn’t as if she were in danger of running out of paper, after all.

_ Dear Van, _

_ I hope you’re alive.  It’s been seven days since you sent me back to the Realm of Light.  I hope that means it’s only been a few minutes for you.  After all, we were stuck there for over ten years.  Can you believe that?  I hardly could.  But that doesn't matter.  The important thing is, I’m working on a way to rescue you. You didn’t honestly think I would leave you there, did you?  You’re one of my best friends. _

That… didn’t exactly feel right.  She wasn’t sure why.  Van  _ was  _ one of her best friends, along with Terra and Ven, but they weren’t the same.  Van was… how could she describe him?  She hadn’t taken the time to think this through before.  Between being possessed, escaping the Realm of Darkness, her frantic search for a way to save him, and her inability to process it all, she had forced the question to the back of her mind.

Her eyes scanned her writing.  This wouldn't be her final draft; she knew that much already.  So she saw no harm in working out her feelings on the paper.

_ You’re not like Terra and Ven.  I mean, you are, but you aren’t.  I know that sounds ridiculous.  Sometimes your face looks just like Ven.  Usually when you’re sleeping.   _

Now  _ that _ just sounded creepy.  Not that she could’ve avoided watching him sleep when they took shifts keeping guard, but still.  She crossed the line out anyway for good measure.

_ You have Terra’s intensity sometimes.  When you’re training, when you really want to get a spell right.  It was so fun to get to teach you magic.  I felt like my old self again.  I know I was supposed to be helping you, but I think it helped me more.  And the look on your face when you finally mastered Curaga, that was priceless!  You lit up as much as when we made ice cream.  Your smile was absolutely adora _

Blushing, she quickly scribbled out the sentence before she could finish.  It shouldn’t matter; he wouldn’t see it anyway.  She glanced over her shoulder; Drizzle was still sitting obediently under the window.  His eyes were even closed, as if he was taking a nap.

Besides, there was no reason to be embarrassed.  She called Ven adorable all the time.  So why did this feel different?  Maybe because Ven felt like her younger brother, while Van didn’t.  Technically, the two should be the same age, though Van felt older to her.  Maybe because if he were older, she wouldn’t feel so embarrassed about--

“ _ No,”  _ she told herself firmly, crumpling the letter in one hand.  She shouldn’t think this way about him.  If she was honest, that was why she had avoided this rabbit hole in the past.  He had just begun to understand friendship; she couldn’t expect anything more from him.

She rested her elbows on the table and dropped her head in her hands.   _ I already have issues with darkness; the  _ last  _ thing I need is to worry about is how Van feels about me… _

“I’m hopeless,” she muttered, vengefully slapping down a new sheet of paper.  Her heart seemed intent on leading her astray lately, but years of training had taught her to listen anyway.  It beat a forceful rhythm as she let it pour its contents onto the new page.

_ Dear Van, _

_ I love you.   _ The words spilled off of her pen the way they never had from her mouth.  It was a test; by putting it on paper, she gave her heart the opportunity to confirm or deny it.

As her insides warmed, she released the breath she’d been holding.  Even if her face colored at the words, she wouldn’t cross these ones out.  They felt  _ right. _

Her pen flew across the page.   _ I don’t know if you have even felt love before.  Whether you have or not, I still feel the same. _

_ I love the way you never ever ever give up.  That’s how I know you’re still fighting, and that you’ll win.  I love how you never gave up on ME, even when I blamed all my problems on you.  You forgave me for actually killing you, too.  I don’t know how I can love you after all of that but I do.  You probably think I’m crazy, and you’re probably right.  But I suppose it’s no crazier than everything that's happened to us.   _

_ I love how you’ve changed for the better.  I always said anyone can change, but I don’t know if I really believed it until you did.  I love that you actually LISTENED to me, even if you didn’t always agree.  You let me help you.  I thought you would be too proud for that, but you did.  Do you know how often Terra and Ven let me help them?  They spent our whole time outside the Land of Departure running away from me.  But not you.  You stayed, even when it would have been easier for you to leave.  The Heartless wouldn’t hurt you at first.  Why did you stay with me?  Were you really as bored as you said?  I may have believed that at first, but I don’t now.  I did kill you, after all.  You had every opportunity for revenge, and you didn’t take it.  At first I thought you were toying with me, just waiting for the right moment.  But I think I was wrong.  You really wanted the light, didn’t you?  Even if you didn’t know it.  You just wanted to stop hurting.  I’m glad I got to part of that.  I don’t want you to hurt anymore. _

_ I’m going to bring you back.  I don’t care what it takes.  I know you would do the same for me, because you already did.  Hold on, alright?  I believe in you.  I’ll be there before you know it. _

_ Love, _

_ Aqua _

Her hand shook by the time she set the pen down.  Her handwriting was sloppy, a combination of her quick writing and lack of practice in recent times.  The ink ran in several places, dark rivers eating at her words.  For a moment she just stared at the paper.  Those words… surprisingly, they did a decent job of expressing how she felt.  She almost wished that they didn’t.  She hadn’t been this honest with herself in a long time.

_ I should keep a journal again.   _ She’d forgotten how useful it could be to put her thoughts on paper.  Even though her feelings worried her, at least she could understand them now.  She wouldn’t have to wonder why Van felt different to her than Terra and Ven.  Her other two friends had grown up as her brothers; it would be weird to think of them this way.  She had tried once with Terra when they were younger, but it had quickly become so awkward that she had called it off.  Their friendship had fortunately survived.  

...Though come to think of it, that was around the time Terra started teasing her about being “such a girl,” so maybe he hadn’t been as okay with it as she’d thought…  The only experience she had with love was through reading sappy romance stories;  could anyone blame her for being clueless?

“I may be a fool, but at least I’ll be an honest one,” she mumbled to herself.  After blowing lightly on the ink, she folded up her “letter” and tucked it in her belt behind her world cards.  True as it may be, she wouldn’t be sending it.  Van had a big enough ego as it was.  Those words would either leave him utterly dumbfounded, or utterly insufferable.

She quickly drafted a second letter, which was much easier now that the first was off of her chest.  This one just promised that she was coming back and gave him some encouragement.  She told him how proud she was of him, which was true.  The other words she could save for when they were reunited in person.

An empty potion bottle provided a vessel for her newly finished letter.  After deciding to take her wiped journal with her too, she called to Drizzle and left the room.  Her head was still in the clouds while her feet took her back to the library.

“Finally,” Riku said with more than a hint of exasperation upon her entrance.  “Are you ready to leave?”

“Wh-- leave? Do you mean--”

“Mickey’s back.”  He nodded, standing and striding past her, back to the door she’d come through.  “Come on.  They’re waiting in the kitchen.”

She wasted no time in following.   _ Finally,  _ they were going to do something!  Not only that, but soon she would get to see the sun.  The bleak white of these walls had nothing on natural light.

“Aqua!”  Mickey greeted, leaping from his chair upon seeing them.  Also eating at the kitchen table were two redheads, one a teenage girl, the other a tall spiky-haired man.  “I’ve got some more friends to introduce to ya.  Say hi to Axel and Kairi!”

The man rolled his eyes.  “How many times do I have to tell you, it’s  _ Lea.   _ L-E-A.  Got it memorized?”  He tapped his temple in a practiced motion.

Aqua wasn’t quite sure what to make of him, but the other one radiated a light she had felt before.   _ This is Kairi…?   _ A piece of her memory finally fell into place.  “I  _ do  _ know you,” she walked closer, but the girl shrunk back in her chair and looked up skeptically.

“Um, I don’t think we’ve met,” she said.

Aqua blushed.  It was the suit again, wasn’t it?  Of course, she didn’t expect Kairi to remember much, but she wouldn’t have that cornered look in her eye if it wasn’t for the dark suit.  Maybe she should get rid of it, look around the Castle for an old  whitewashed outfit of hers instead… No.  If they reacted this way to her, it would be worse for Van.  If they could get used to her, then they might be easier on him when he came back.

“It was a long time ago,” she replied to Kairi.   _ Well, it was for you.   _ “You lived in Radiant Garden.  Mickey and I protected you from the Unversed.  Monsters,” she clarified at the questioning look Kairi gave her, though it felt wrong to call them that now.

Kairi’s eyes widened.  “Monsters like that?”  She pointed to Drizzle, who twitched beside her.

“Um… kind of.”  She sighed and waved Drizzle away.  “It’s a long story.  But, does that mean you remember?”

“I… I’m not sure.”  Her eyes shut.  “I think it feels a little familiar…”

“That’s alright,” Aqua said, keeping the sadness out of her voice.  First Riku, now Kairi.  Something had felt special about both of them, but they had only been kids.  How much did she remember from her own childhood?  Most of her time before training under the Master was a blur.  “How do you know Mickey and Riku?”

“I grew up with Riku, and he knows the King.”

Grew up… but they’d lived on two completely different worlds.  Who had taken them through the Lanes Between?  That couldn’t be safe for children.  

“I see.  Well, it’s nice to meet you.”  She smiled.  At least that particular mystery was solved.

“Hey, you forgetting about me?”  Axel - or Lea? - waved an arm.

“Do I know you too?”  She asked.  It would be embarrassing if after all her disappointment at being forgotten she neglected someone else too.

“Nah, I just wanted to make sure you get my name right before these three corrupt you.”  He jerked a thumb towards Riku, Mickey, and Kairi.

“You said it’s Lea, right?”  Aqua replied carefully, hoping she hadn’t gotten the two names mixed up.  Why would he have two names, anyway?

“Yeah.  Freakin’  _ finally  _ someone gets it right…”

Kairi just laughed at that.  “You said you didn’t care if we called you Axel.”

“Yeah, well, I figured I was stuck with you guys saying that.  No reason I have to let the new girl get into a bad habit.”

Mickey interrupted the two redheads.  “Alright fellas, are we ready to go?”

“Ugh, I guess.”  Lea shoved the last half of a roll into his mouth and stood.

“I’m ready for anything.”  Kairi smiled.  

Lea swallowed the roll with a gulp and a grimace.  “Easy for you to say, you’re not the one Yen Sid’s gonna blame for us taking a vacation…”

Aqua had no idea what he was talking about, but she bounced on her toes.  “I’ve been ready.  Where are we going?”

Mickey smiled.  “Right now Master Yen Sid wants to see you, and then we’ll be off to Radiant Garden.”

_ Radiant Garden.   _ Aqua smiled widely.  That had been one of her favorite worlds, between the blooming flowers and beautiful fountains.  It had also been the last place she had seen Terra, the last place she’d seen the sun… that would be as good a place as any to look for answers.

_ And this time, I won’t be alone. _

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Aqua, C.O. is basically one big Room of Requirement.  XD
> 
> You’ll find out what Kairi and Axel-I-mean-Lea are doing there in the next chapter, along with why Mickey took so long.  (Spoiler: It’s pretty much all Lea’s fault.  XD)
> 
> School is cutting into my writing time so bad!  Lame.  I wasn’t planning on this taking so long but I’ve also been crazy busy every weekend since classes started, but things should be slowing down a little now.
> 
> I will probably close the poll when I finish this story, just because chances are I won’t be able to work on anything else very much until this is done.  At least, I know I won’t be able to write any other CaS sequels since they would likely end up referencing stuff from this, especially if any of them involve Aqua’s POV.
> 
> Wow I can’t believe it’s taken 5 chapters just to get out of CO.  This doesn’t bode well for me keeping this a short multichapter.  *sweatdrop*  What kind of pit did I dig myself into this time...


	6. The Mysterious Tower

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it’s been taking so long guys! Got crazy with school and also got distracted by “Stroke of Midnight,” probably because I don’t get enough of a Vanitas/Aqua fix from working on this one. X’D *sweatdrop* That’s the Terra/Cinderella Van/Aqua story that was an option on the poll; it’s nowhere close to winning, but I had the irresistible urge to write it anyway. 
> 
> Speaking of the poll, I’ve decided I will close it on OCTOBER 31! So if you haven’t voted yet, please do! I’ll announce the results in the next chapter I post as well as on my profile! It may still be a while before I write it though, because if it’s in the CaS universe, I might need to be farther along in this story first just to keep the timeline straight. 
> 
> Here's the link to the poll: https://www.fanfiction.net/~taliax
> 
> Anyway, enough of me rambling, enjoy the chapter!

Aqua had never been inside of a Gummi Ship before.  In fact, she had never  _ heard  _ of a Gummi Ship before Riku and Mickey.  It looked like something out of one of the science fiction movies Terra was fond of, only blockier and with a brighter assortment of primary colors, as if a handful of children had painted it.  Garish as the colors were, it was still a welcome change from the bleak Castle Oblivion.

They flew through the Lanes Between - or Gummi Space, as Mickey called it.  Aqua wasn't sure if the two interworld spaces were actually the same.  She had never seen these strange flying Heartless in the Lanes Between, for one, and the colors all seemed distorted too.  Plus, the Gummi Ship hadn’t shot out a portal to fly through; it had simply risen up into space until they left the former Land of Departure far below.

She’d stared out the window, watching her old home disappear, while Mickey explained the delay.  Or rather, he tried to - Lea and Kairi kept interrupting with their own versions of the story.

“It was just supposed to be a quick vacation. More like an ice cream break, really.  We were gonna bring it back before he even realized it was gone...”

“Axel didn’t tell me that he’d never actually  _ flown  _ a Gummi Ship before.”

“You never asked!”

Basically, it boiled down to the two redheads taking the Gummi Ship for a joyride while Mickey was meeting with Master Yen Sid, then crashing said Gummi Ship on a world called Twilight Town.  It sounded so much like something Terra and Ven would’ve done that Aqua would’ve laughed - if it hadn’t been for the fact that their careless mistake could cost Van his life.  She tried to push that thought aside.  They couldn’t have known that, and they seemed willing to atone for their mistake by helping her find him.  That was enough to make them friends in her book.

Trying to put her thoughts on a more productive track, she asked Riku, “Is there any reason we couldn’t just use this Gummi Ship to reach the Realm of Darkness?”

He shook his head.  “We can go anywhere in the Realm of Light, and most worlds in the Realm Between, but the Realm of Darkness is something else entirely.  It doesn’t exist on the same plane as normal worlds.  I’ve learned a lot about it from the Organization’s research, but even they didn’t get it entirely.  The best theories I’ve read guess that the Realm of Darkness occupies a different kind of space than the Realm of Light, but the two realms overlap in places.  Worlds in the Realm Between are actually places where that overlap is more apparent.  That’s how Dark Corridors can work too - they rip a hole between the realms, and you actually travel through the Realm of Darkness on the way to your destination.  That’s why I thought they were our best bet, but Mickey says Yen Sid advised against that.”

“...Oh.” Aqua took a few moments to process Riku’s information-dump.  She had never learned much, if anything, about the Realm of Darkness.  She should have had Riku bring her a book about it for the journey.  She could probably focus enough to read since she was forced to sit down anyway.

“Yeah.  Hopefully he can explain more when we get there.  In the meantime, I’d start thinking of another way to reach the Realm of Darkness.”

She’d already done that while they were waiting on Mickey at Castle Oblivion, but it hadn’t been much use.  The only safe way she knew to travel between worlds was with her Keyblade Glider, which she no longer had.  For some reason, only Rainfell and Stormfall would form the magical glider.  She had tried to use Master Keeper several times while in the Realm of Darkness (and later on in Castle Oblivion, in case it was just the dark realm’s interference), but it was to no avail.

_ Master Yen Sid will be able to help.  Surely he knows something we don’t.   _ Even Master Eraqus had looked to the retired master for guidance.

She wondered if Gummi Ships were slower than Keyblade Gliders, or if she simply had unrealistic expectations of how long it should take to reach their destination.  After what seemed like an eternity, Mickey finally landed them at the Mysterious Tower.  It looked exactly as she remembered it in spite of her twelve year exile.  A swath of bright stars pricked holes in the night sky; they cast an ethereal glow across the crooked tower and its surrounding grounds.

“I think you’d better stay here,” she told Drizzle, who had been staring out the window in rapture through the whole trip.  He tilted his head sideways as if to ask why he couldn’t come; she stifled a laugh.  “The tower’s pretty small.  It will be crowded in there with all of us already.”  That was one reason, though not the most important one.  She had no idea how Yen Sid would react to the Inversed.

His antennae drooped as she left him and stepped outside.  The world smelled pleasant, warm, like the dying days of summer.  

“Axel!”  Mickey called back towards the Gummi Ship before they made it inside.  Lea reluctantly poked his head out and chuckled.

“I’m coming, I’m coming…”

Riku led the way; Lea and Kairi trailed behind.  Aqua felt herself picking up on their apprehension, though she wasn’t sure why.  It wasn’t like  _ she  _ would be in trouble.  Unless Yen Sid reacted badly to her dark suit, too…

_ The Master certainly would,  _ she thought, Eraqus’s disappointed face suddenly flooding her mind.  No, more than disappointed; he would be aghast to know what had happened to her.  The thought had occurred to her plenty of times while in the Realm of Darkness, but somehow it felt more real here, with these people’s light providing a stark contrast to her own lack.

_ At least I might not stand out too much next to Lea.   _ He wore a black trench coat that fell all the way to his ankles.  It didn’t seem very practical in the Mysterious Tower’s humidity; was he really from this world?

They climbed the spiral staircase, and she paused to take a deep breath before following Riku and Mickey into the room.

The first thing that struck here, again, was how everything was exactly the same, as if Yen Sid had been trapped in a time-vacuum just like her.  He still sat behind his wooden desk, wearing the same blue hat and robes as before.  Even his beard was no whiter than the last time she met him.

_ I wonder if he knows a thing or two about time spells.   _ She shook away the thought and bowed slightly.

“Master Aqua.” Yen Sid dipped his head in greeting.  “Mickey informed me that you had returned.  I am sure this is not a coincidence, with Xehanort’s plan nearing fruition, that the stars would send you back to us.  Our forces are in need of lights like you.”

“Like me?”  Aqua’s fingers twisted in the rough fabric of her skirt, but the retired Master didn’t pay attention to her dark clothing.

“Yes.” His lips twitched upward slightly.  It was the closest his face seemed to come to smiling.  “I do not expect you escaped the dark realm unscathed, but it has not destroyed your light.  Your star has returned and still glows brightly.”

She looked away, hand instinctively reaching up to her heart.  “But…”

“Perhaps it would be best if we discussed this in private,” Yen Sid suggested kindly.  “Mickey, will you keep Kairi and Lea out of trouble for the time being?”

The mouse chuckled.  “Sure, Master.”

“Hey, I can keep myself out of trouble just fine-!”  Lea cut off when Kairi flicked him.

“Come on, Axel, it  _ was  _ our fault.”

Riku shook his head with a chuckle of his own.  “He’s been a bad influence on you, Kairi.”

“You crash a spaceship  _ one time,  _ and suddenly you’re the bad guy again!”  Lea threw his arms in the air.

“Alright, fellas, come on…”

Mickey led the three of them from the room.  The door shut behind them, leaving her alone with the wizened sorcerer.

“Aqua, Mickey explained your plight to me.  However, I believe it would be helpful to hear the tale from your own mouth.”

She swallowed.  She’d told the story twice already: of her travels through the Realm of Darkness, of nearly giving up, of befriending Van and feeling hope again, of being plunged into a darker night than she could’ve imagined.  This time, however, Yen Sid’s piercing gaze drew forth details she hadn’t shared with Riku and Mickey.  Her guilt and shame spilled from her lips like a waterfall.

“I’m not what you think I am, Master Yen Sid.”  Her voice trembled as she finished.  “I’m not who I used to be.  I… I may never be that person again.”

It was the fear she’d left unsaid to anyone but Van.  Van had never believed it; he had been confident that she would recover in the Realm of Light.  And maybe she still would.  If anyone would know, it would be Yen Sid.

“You may not,” he answered with a nod.  Her blood ran cold.  Voicing a fear was one thing; having it corroborated was another.  “I have seen many things in my days, but I fear you have experienced horrors even I cannot imagine.  They will not be so easily erased.”

“Then how can I--”

“However,” he interrupted with a raise of his hand, “I never said that we need the person you once were.  We need who you are now, Master Aqua.”

“But I’m broken!”  She burst out in spite of herself. 

For the first time, His expression became a real smile.  “Aren’t we all?”

She froze, staring.   _ Aren’t we all?   _ She had been to hell and back.  But so had Riku; he had even been possessed too.  Mickey hadn’t, but he had faced the Realm of Darkness.  Even the light-filled Kairi had lost her heart once.  She hadn’t caught Lea’s whole story yet, but the hints they all dropped implied that he had once been their enemy.

And then, of course, there was Van.  The one who had the most right to call himself broken.  The one who had trusted her enough to find his way to the light.

_ If he could trust me, the least I can do is trust myself. _

“Yes… I suppose we are,” she murmured sheepishly.  “I’m still confused, though.  I’ve never had problems with my darkness before.  Is it all from my own heart, or do you think part of the Dark Wind could still be inside me?”

He gestured her closer.  “Come.  This is a matter I can settle easily.”  As she stepped forward nervously, he explained, “Now, this will not hurt.  A delving spell simply allows me to search out foreign presences in your heart.”

That sounded like it had the potential to hurt a lot, actually.  She wasn't thrilled at the idea of anyone else tampering with her heart, but it seemed like the only way she would know the source of her darkness for sure.

Yen Sid stretched his arm over the desk and placed his hand over her forehead.  She closed her eyes.  Her muscles tensed in anticipation of a shock that never came.  Instead, a cool wave gently passed through her veins.  Before long, he removed his hand and hummed thoughtfully.

“It is as I expected.  You are free of any parasitic darkness - however, your own darkness presents a strange paradox.  You say you have struggled with it, yet you do not seem to possess enough for it to cause a chronic problem.”

“I… don’t?”  She asked.  “Why would that be?”

He stroked his beard as he answered,  “There is an explanation, I believe.  You have always been gifted in magical ability.  Before, that ability had always been channeled towards the light…”

“...But now my ability is working against me.  Empowering my darkness.  That’s what you mean, isn’t it?” 

He nodded.  She should have been happy; it sounded like her darkness wasn’t as bad as it seemed.  Still, it felt like a cruel twist of fate that the same gift that filled her with the power of light would also leave her susceptible to the darkness.

“Do not lose hope, Aqua,” Yen Sid gently replied.  “All of us, save perhaps Kairi, have had and will yet have our battles with darkness.  Do not be discouraged if yours is more visible than others.  I was once spurned by other Keyblade Masters for insinuating this, but your darkness is a part of you, as is your light.  Because of this, it cannot be destroyed without destroying the very essence of your heart.”

She paused, taking it all in.  If what he said was true, then it sounded like she really would never be the same.  Her darkness had somehow been unlocked in the dark realm, and it seemed there was no easy way to lock it back.  “Then… what would you suggest I do?”

“Go forth without fear,” he said, as if it were that simple.  “Trust that the light that has always been inside you will be enough to brighten the darkness.  While it may never disappear, it need not control you.  Focus on your journey ahead, and believe you will succeed.  The light of hope is the strongest antidote to any darkness.”

“I… thank you.”  Aqua bowed with her arms at her sides.  While she doubted it would be as easy as he made it sound, the words did lift her a little.  “I do believe.  I’m going to find Van, no matter what it takes.  Do you know a way we can reach the Realm of Darkness and return again safely?”

Yen Sid frowned.  “If your keyblade glider is missing, I do not.  The dark corridors that Lea and Riku once used would not be safe for you even if you still possessed your armor - the force you have unleashed in the dark realm would be able to traverse those far more easily than you.  That cannot be allowed to happen.”

She nodded emphatically.  “Yes.  I agree.  But surely, there has to be another way.”

“If there is, I do not know of it.  My star shard would be far too unpredictable, and the Gummi Ships cannot fly there.  You must understand, the only reason a keyblade glider could provide a way is because they can create portals of light.  Master Aqua, you are the only one living who possesses knowledge of keyblade gliders and these portals.  I believe it is you and you alone who can find a safe way into the dark realm.”

A weight heavier than the mantle of mastership pressed down on her shoulders.  “I understand, Yen Sid.  I will find a way.”

“Yes.  I have full confidence that you will.” His lips formed an almost-smile again.  “Now, will you send in the two troublemaking keyblade wielders?”

“Yes, I - wait, keyblade wielders? You mean Lea and Kairi-”

He nodded.  “They are young and inexperienced, but in light of recent events, we will need every able-bodied wielder we can call to our aid.”

She was still stunned, but she shook her head.  “Of course.  I’ll send them right in.”

She left Yen Sid and headed down the spiraling stone stairs.  Kairi, a keyblade wielder?  Aqua had never met another female wielder before, and to think, she had met her when she was a child!  How had she not seen the talent in her?  Unless-

_ Something happened that day.   _ She remembered it vaguely.  Brushing the young girl, a spark of power leaving her.   _ But I didn’t say the words!  Did I really…?   _ If she really had passed on the keyblade to Kairi, then…  _ She would be my apprentice. _

She thought back to a few days ago, when she had decided she would teach her future apprentice of both light and darkness, to protect her from the trials she had faced herself.  The irony was so strong she could’ve laughed.  Kairi would never face the temptation of darkness, the fear of being overcome against her will.

_ She doesn’t need me to be her Master,  _ Aqua realized sadly.   _ Maybe she could have used the Master I used to be, but not now.   _ She guessed it was for the best.  She had enough challenges to deal with without adding in the variable of an apprentice.

The four of them waited outside on the scraggy lawn.  To her surprise, Drizzle had left the Gummi Ship and joined Lea and Kairi in a game of frisbee.

Lea stopped short when he saw her, and the frisbee Kairi threw hit him in the head. “Ow!”

“You’re in the middle now,” she said with a giggle.  Even Riku cracked a smile.

Aqua shook her head.  “He can’t be.  Master Yen Sid needs him.”

“Hah,” he grinned at Kairi.

“Fine,” she huffed.  “Riku, are you  _ sure  _ you don’t want to play?  Just because you’re a Master now doesn’t mean you can’t still have fun.”

“...I think I’ll pass,” he said, though he did sound a little wistful.

“Come on, I know how much you like running and throwing things.”

“Actually, Yen Sid needs you too, Kairi,” Aqua said, and Lea laughed.

“Yes!  I’m not the only one in trouble!”

Kairi crossed her arms.  “Only because you dragged me into it…!”

The two went inside, leaving her with Riku, Drizzle, and Mickey.  The Inversed picked up the frisbee and sat on the ground, staring at it forlornly.

“Hey, they’ll be back soon,” she tried to cheer him up.  “I’m glad you're making some new friends.”

The white Flood purred and cuddled close to her, still holding the frisbee.  She noticed that the plastic disc had a picture of a bomb on it of all things.

“Was Yen Sid able to help?”  Riku asked, settling cross-legged in the grass beside them.

“A little.”  She sighed and explained what the sorcerer had told her, both about her darkness and about finding Van.

“You’ve mentioned keyblade gliders before.  Is there a reason you can’t use yours anymore?”

“Gliders can be complicated,” she explained.  “They’re not a regular form of keyblade; it takes a special kind of keychain to be able to transform them.  I had two - Rainfell and Stormfall.  Stormfall I lost when I rescued Terra.  I still have Rainfell, but it isn’t compatible with my current keyblade.”

She summoned Master Keeper and rested it over her knees.  The blade was simple, bearing a dull grey shaft with teeth in the shape of an ‘E.’   _ E for Eraqus.   _ No matter how long she used it, it would never truly belong to her.  Changing its form seemed like desecrating her Master, but she had tried anyway.  None of her keychains had affected it.

Riku hummed thoughtfully.  “What about my keyblade, or Mickey’s?  Would either of them be able to form a glider?”

“Theoretically, it’s possible…”  She had good reasons to doubt it would be that easy, but she didn’t share them.  After all, what did they have to lose by trying?

Riku summoned his keyblade, the strange dual-winged weapon that he called Way to the Dawn.  Aqua accepted it and stood to get a better feel for its balance.  It weighed more than Master Keeper, and felt too long for her, but that was to be expected.  The question was, how would she know if it could form a glider?

“The process for summoning a glider is a little different than most spells or techniques,” she explained, handing back his blade by the hilt.  “In appearance, it looks similar to performing a Strike Raid, but it’s actually quite different.  Your keyblade has to understand what you want it to do.”

He nodded.  “So, I throw it, and imagine it turning into a glider.”

“Well… sort of.”  It was difficult to explain; she’d been doing it for so long that it felt effortless, but she remembered the struggle when the Master had begun teaching them.  It was actually one of the things Terra had mastered before her.  She could still remember his teasing… and how she’d frozen his arm in a chunk of Blizzard for it.

_ Good times.   _ She smiled before returning her attention to the present.  “Your keyblade is a part of you.  It can understand your commands to a certain extent.  Having never had someone to show you before, though, I’m not sure how you can instruct it to create a glider.  Then there’s the technical factors like the blade’s speed of rotation, its angle compared to the ground, and channeling the proper type and amount of magic.”

“You make it sound like rocket science,” he replied, shaking his head.  “It’s worth a shot, though, isn’t it?”

“Yes.” She nodded.  “I shouldn’t be so cynical.  Even though it technically  _ is  _ rocket science.”

He chuckled at that.  “Fair enough.”

Lea and Kairi must have been scolded for quite a while, because Aqua had plenty of time to try to teach Riku to create his glider.  Unfortunately, for all that trying, they didn’t have much success.  She should be honest: they didn’t have  _ any  _ success.  Way to the Dawn plunked, clanged, and stabbed into the ground more times than she could count, but it never showed a hint of transforming.

She shook her head.  “I’m sorry, Riku, but I just don’t think this is going to work.”

“Yeah…”  He dismissed his keyblade with a grimace.  “I’m supposed to be a Master now.  Doesn’t seem to be doing me much good.”

“It’s not your fault, Riku.”  She placed a hand on his shoulder, sharing his sentiment.  “Even if you had a better teacher, it usually takes months to learn this technique.  At least, it did for me.”

He nodded.  “I get it.  It sounds like we don’t have months, though.”

“No, we don’t…”  She sat back down, shoulders slumping.  There  _ had  _ to be a way.  As desperate as she felt, she wasn’t going to give up.  “Mickey, do you think your keyblade could do it?”  She asked the mouse, who had been distracting Drizzle with the frisbee while Aqua tutored Riku.

“Gosh, I don’t know.”  He tossed Drizzle the plastic disc and summoned his keyblade.  “Kingdom Key D is from the Realm of Darkness.  I’ve been scared to try too much with it, but who knows?  It could do lots of stuff I don’t know about.”

Drizzle leapt up and snatched the frisbee from the air, but was disappointed when Mickey and Aqua weren’t watching.

“C’mere, buddy,” Riku murmured to the Inversed with a hint of a smile.  “I guess it wouldn’t hurt to keep you out of their hair.”  He coaxed the frisbee from Drizzle’s arms and jogged off to the other side of the grounds.

Aqua repeated the same process with Mickey that she had for Riku.  She had more hope this time, because surely the King had seen her or her friends summon their gliders at some point, even if that was over ten years ago.  

That hope turned out to be unfounded.  Skilled as the mouse was, his efforts only resulted in more gouges in Yen Sid’s lawn.  

“Maybe it’s because the Kingdom Key D isn’t your original keyblade, like Master Keeper for me,” Aqua held onto one last thread of hope.  “Why don’t you try with Star Seeker?”

Mickey rubbed one of his ears.  “Ya know, it’s been awhile since I’ve used that one. I’ll give it a try!”

A new blade appeared in his gloved hands, the familiar crooked purple shaft topped with a crescent and star.  Aqua held her breath as he concentrated and flung it according to her instructions.

Of course, it wouldn't be that easy.  She didn’t expect it to be.  Disappointment was all she really expected anymore; that was likely the darkness talking, but it was hard to ignore.

Soon Lea and Kairi emerged from the tower, both with faces as red as their hair.  Riku wasted no time in comforting Kairi, while Lea just plopped himself on the ground.  Drizzle ran up to him and dropped the frisbee at his side.

“Heh, well at least someone still likes me…”

“I wouldn’t put too much stock in that.”  Aqua held back a laugh as Lea scratched Drizzle’s head.  “He likes pretty much anyone.”

At that, the Flood dove underground and slid across the grass, popping back up at her side and surprising her with a giant hug.  It was as if he wanted to remind her,  _ But I like you the most.   _

“So what’s the news, fellas?”  Mickey asked Lea and Kairi.

“I’m on board for the whole ‘rescue Aqua’s buddy’ mission,” Lea answered, then jerked a thumb towards Kairi.  “We gotta drop off the Princess at Merlin’s, though.”

“As usual,” she sighed.

“Sorry, Kairi,” Riku said sympathetically.  “This  _ will  _ be dangerous though.  Trust me, you don’t want to get any closer to the Realm of Darkness than you have to.”

“I probably could’ve gone if I didn’t have to be separated from a certain irresponsible  _ somebody.” _

Lea ruffled his hair sheepishly.  “Hey, I would’ve thought you’d be glad to get rid of me.”

“Well, I guess there’s the silver lining,” she muttered.

“Hey!”

Aqua shook her head.  Yen Sid knew what he was doing; if those two stayed in the same place for too long they’d drive everyone crazy, whether they broke anything else or not.

Mickey nodded.  “Alright.  Radiant Garden’s where we’re going anyways.  There’s some fellas there who might know a thing or two about getting to the Realm of Darkness.”

Aqua couldn’t imagine anyone else knowing more about the subject than Yen Sid, who seemed older and wiser than time itself.  Mickey’s connections had better be some really special people.

As they loaded back into the Gummi Ship, she remembered something important.  

_ Radiant Garden was the last place I had my glider. What happened to it?  A keyblade can’t be destroyed;  surely someone had to keep it.  _

Would  _ Terra  _ have kept it?  Maybe she could kill two Heartless with one strike.  A link to rescuing two different friends at once.  It was almost too much to hope for.

_ The light of hope is the strongest antidote to any darkness,  _ she repeated Yen Sid’s words to herself.  Unfortunately, hope had seemed too much like water lately.  Pure and clean, necessary to sustain life...

But also all too quick to slip through her fingers.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry not much happened in this chapter; I meant for them to get to Radiant Garden, but this got a little long. I hope this wasn’t too much infodump for anyone, but it should clarify some things that went unanswered earlier on and in CaS.  
> Also, sorry Kairi, you’ve gotta get ditched again. (Mostly because I need to keep you and Lea’s banter from taking over all the time. XD )
> 
> Next chapter should have more plot development things! Also, significantly more Lea. Fun stuff.


	7. Chamber

Aqua might as well have set her eyes on fire.  She couldn't see a thing anymore; she would have to cast Cure to heal her retinas.  She didn’t care.  Whether she could see it with her eyes or not, it was beautiful.

In the pale blue sky above Radiant Garden hung a glorious glowing sun.

“Yo, Aqua!”  Lea called back.  “I thought we were on a schedule here?”

She shook her head, blinking the spots from her eyes.  “I’m coming.”

Drizzle held her hand, leading her along behind the others who hadn’t paused to stare at the sun.  Even after she cast Cure, it took a few seconds for her vision to fully return.  When it did, she realized that Radiant Garden looked far less radiant than she remembered.

“What happened to this place?”  She asked Mickey, but to her surprise, it was Lea who answered.

“It went through about the same thing you did.”  When he glanced back at her, his usually bright green eyes were dark.  “Went to hell and back.”

Kairi elbowed him and mouthed _language,_ but he just rolled his eyes.

“This world was lost to the darkness?”  Aqua asked.  How had it happened?  This had once been one of her favorite worlds; the flowing water had made it so beautiful.  The few fountains she spotted were now empty of anything but debris.

“More or less.”  Lea shrugged.  “I… actually didn’t live to see it.”

_Didn’t_ live?   _What’s that supposed to mean?_ She felt it would be rude to ask, though.  

She thought the rest of the walk to the castle would feel like strolling through a graveyard, but things weren’t as bad as they first seemed.  People making their way through the streets waved at Mickey and Riku as they passed by.  Some had friendly smiles for Lea and Kairi too, and some even nodded kindly to Aqua.  These people may have lost their home once, but they didn’t look beaten down.

And they weren’t just surviving in the ruins of their town - they were rebuilding.  Aqua’s group passed by a few different teams welding pipes, bricking up crumbling walls, and hammering wooden roofs.  

_That’s what we do,_ she realized.   _We survive.  We rebuild, no matter how many times we get knocked down._

It was enough to make her walk a little taller.

XXX

A short time later, they had dropped off Kairi at Merlin’s, and the remnant of their group arrived at the remnant of Radiant Garden’s castle.  The structure was as tall and imposing as ever - more so, actually - but like the Land of Departure, it had become distorted.  Pipes and smokestacks stuck out from its turrets at odd angles.  The framework of gears on the front still looked the same, though.

Two guards opened the door for them; Aqua didn’t miss the awkward look that passed between them and Lea.  “Wish I’d gotten shipped off to Merlin too…” the redhead muttered.

“I thought you said they forgave you?”  Riku asked him.  “They didn’t bother you last time we were here.”

He snorted.  “If that’s what you think, you weren’t paying attention. They might not be trying to kill me, but they sure haven’t forgiven me for throwing a wrench in the Organization. You’d think they’d get over it since it turned out the boss was just using us all.”

“You really managed to tick off everyone, didn’t you?”

“Heheh… That’s an understatement if I ever heard one…”

Aqua was really going to have to ask Lea some more questions.  She would have then, but Mickey led them through a door into a room filled with laboratory equipment.  Two labcoated men looked up from a computer program they were working on.  One had long blonde hair, the other short grey.

“Even, Ienzo,” Mickey gestured between the two, “sorry to drop by without giving a heads up, but something just came up.  This is our friend Aqua.  She’s got some questions about the Realm of Darkness for ya!”

She cleared her throat at the two-and-a-half sets of eyes fixed on her - Ienzo’s long bangs covered one of his.  “Yes, Mickey told me that you two might know how to get in and out of there--”

Ienzo’s gasp interrupted her.  “That creature…!”  He snatched a thick notebook off a cluttered table and rushed towards her.  She took a step back at his sudden movement, but he wasn’t focused on her at all, she realized.  “I’ve seen the likes of it before.  Where did you find it?”

He was inspecting Drizzle from all angles, scribbling down notes faster than she could think.  Even chuckled.  “Feeling nostalgic, Ienzo?”

“Surely you see it too, Even.  You were older than I then; you would remember.”  He paused to smirk at the taller man.  “Unless your age has caught up to you more than I thought.”

Even scowled.  “Hmph.  Very funny.  I remember well enough, thank you.  You nearly got yourself killed trying to study those creatures.”

“Excuse me,” Aqua interrupted, backing away from Drizzle so as not to be inspected along with him.  “You were around when the Unversed were here?”

“Unversed,” Ienzo repeated to himself, scribbling the word down.  “So that’s what they are.  I knew they couldn’t be Heartless…”

“Yes,” Even answered as Drizzle, happy to receive the attention, purred and threw himself at Ienzo.  The shorter man yelped as he was smothered in a giant hug.  “These ‘Unversed’ were Ienzo’s first subjects of study; you could say they drew him to the realm of science and research almost as much as I did.  We haven’t seen them in at least ten years, however.  Tell me, where _did_ you find this one?”

“It’s… a rather long story.”  She sighed.  “I’m afraid I don’t have time to share it right now.  Actually, I’m trying to find out how to get back to the Realm of Darkness so I can rescue the one who created them.”

“Fascinating!  So they were created?”  Even’s eyes lit up like he’d discovered a hidden stash of Christmas candy.  “The scientist who succeeded in that must be a genius!”

“Yes.”  Ienzo winced, prying himself from Drizzle’s grip.  “A genius, indeed…”

“Why, just think of the experiments we could perform if we-”

Mickey cleared his throat, interrupting the white-coated man.  “Even.  You _do_ remember ya can’t experiment with living people anymore, right?”

“Hmph.  Of course I do,” he grumbled, crossing his arms.  Then more quietly he added, “I’m not _Vexen_ anymore…”

“Good.”  Riku nodded.  “Now, like Aqua was saying, we need a safe way to get in and out of the Realm of Darkness without using dark corridors.  Can you help us?”

“Still insolent as ever, I see.”  Even rolled his eyes, but the excitement was returning to his gaunt face,  “Yes, I will see what we can do.  It would be a pity to leave a fellow scientist in that heart-forsaken place.  Let us move to somewhere more fit for discussion, shall we?”

Aqua never got the chance to tell Even that Van was no scientist.  Picturing him in one of the silly lab coats they wore did bring a smile to her face, though.  Even and Ienzo, with Drizzle still on his heels, led the rest of them out of the lab and into a small study.  She gasped at the portrait that dominated one of the walls.

“Terra!”  All her questions were forgotten as she rushed to the painting and placed her hand on it.  The canvas felt cold to the touch.  “Terra… oh, I’m so sorry.”

The portrait-Terra’s hair was still silver, his eyes a shimmering gold.  She knew how those eyes felt from the inside now.  

“Terra?”  Even asked.  “That man is Xehanort.  Also known as Ansem to some.”

“Or Xemnas,” Ienzo interjected.

“Or _huge-frickin’-pain-in-the-neck_ ,” Lea added.  Ienzo glared daggers at him, as if noticing his presence for the first time.  “Hey, I’m not wrong.”

“No, you’re not.  I just wish you would allow me to forget that you exist.”  The slate-haired man rubbed his temples.

“Can’t we get over this?  You don’t have anything against Riku, and he killed you about as much as I did!” Lea protested.  Riku groaned softly, dropping his head into his palm.

“You killed me too!”  Even announced.  “You can’t blame that on anyone but yourself!”

“Hey, hey, we’re all alive and kicking now, right?” Lea’s grin was threadbare.  “Let it go, let it goooo~!”

Even covered his ears at the redhead’s singing.  “Please, anything but that song!  Ngh, I’d rather get incarcerated _twice…!”_

“Aw come on Vexy, I was just trying to warm that cold heart of yours!”

“Well, it certainly isn’t working, traitor!”

“Hey!  The past is in the past, bro!”

Lea, Even and Iezno all started shouting at once.

“I am your _elder, AXEL,_ you will _not_ refer to me as-”

“-Don’t you dare barge into _our_ castle and expect us to-”

“-both stuck-up jerks then, too!-”

Even Riku got dragged in.  “Yeah, I get it, we all did some things we regret-”

“I don’t regret it!-”

“Listen to yourselves, you’re all a disgrace to the Organization-”

“There _is_ no Organization anymore!  I sure hope you’re not-”

“-Who do you think I am?  I have no desire to-”

Mickey stretched out a hand, trying to intervene but not sure how.  Aqua barely noticed.  She had clamped her hands over her ears; her blood still seemed to pound through her veins with each of their shouts.

“-just been minding our own-!”

“-I didn’t ask to be dragged back-!”

“-Probably just wanted to rub his fancy _keyblade_ in our-”

“-I did _not!-”_

“Everyone SHUT _UP!”_ Aqua finally shouted back.  Her voice echoed off the walls and bookshelves; she could feel it in her bones.  Her fists were clenched tightly at her sides.  She panted slightly, though she didn’t know why she felt so drained until she saw the faint wisps of darkness settling around her.

_Oh no.  Not again...._

“Everyone… everyone just calm down,” she repeated, trying to take her own advice.  The room seemed to sway around her.  She dropped into a chair next to a white desk before she could collapse.

Mickey looked at her with concern.  “Aqua, are you…?”

“I’m fine,” she snapped.  Or at least she would be, if everyone would stop _staring_ at her.  Yes, she had issues with darkness; no, she didn’t need everyone pointing it out.  Why could they all scream at each other, but the second she spoke up, she was a monster?

_All of us have had and will yet have our battles with darkness.  Do not be discouraged if yours is more visible than others._ She ground her teeth at the memory of Yen Sid’s advice.  Still, her anger didn’t make him any less right.

“I’m sorry, Mickey.”  She shook her head.  The dark wisps were already gone, but she felt she could still see them, like the sunspots on the backs of her eyes.  “Please, if we can just discuss what we came here for…”

He nodded reluctantly, then turned to Riku.  “Why don’tcha take Lea and go get lunch? We’ll catch up to ya later.”

“Lunch!”  Lea burst out with a nervous laugh.  “I love lunch!  Sounds great.  Later!”

He grabbed Riku’s arm and practically sprinted out of the room.  She had probably scarred them with her outburst… No point in thinking about that now.  Just work on keeping her breathing steady, like Van and Riku had taught her.  In, out.  In, out.

“Yes, well.”  Even cleared his throat and sat down, but it was Iezno who actually took the lead.

“I apologize for our lapse in professionalism.”  He actually did look sorry, in spite of the lack of emotion in his voice.  “Axel - Lea - may be a nuisance, but I would not have him ruin a chance for a new experiment.  Now... Aqua, was it?  We will need you to explain the exact nature of your dilemma.”

Still sheepish from her outburst, she blushed, but mentally thanked Ienzo for not bringing it up.  “My friend is trapped in the Realm of Darkness, and…”

XXX

Aqua felt naked without her Wayfinder.  It had taken considerable persuasion from Even and Ienzo to get her to part with it, and even though she could check on them in the lab every day, she couldn’t shake the feeling that a part of her was missing.

Their theory was that they could reverse the connection that had brought Ven’s Wayfinder to the Realm of Darkness, and instead have her Wayfinder open a door there from this side.  They made it sound plausible enough, though their explanations were layered in so much scientific jargon she couldn’t be sure.

For that reason, she’d decided to take things into her own hands too.  While they performed their experiments - which they assured her would be harmless - on her Wayfinder, she searched the castle.

_Terra was here.  He had to have kept my keyblade; it could be around here anywhere…_

She sighed.   _Anywhere_.  The castle was gigantic, and she didn’t have the same magical connection to it as she did Castle Oblivion.

Three whole days passed  before she asked her friends for help.  She felt horrible that her pride and fear held her back for that long when Van was counting on her.  She had tried; honestly, she had.  But she hadn’t been able to face them without seeing her reflection in their eyes, feeling as if they were just waiting for a pin to drop and set her off again...

The worst thing was, something that small really _would_ provoke her.  She blamed being separated from her Wayfinder, but it might have just been her frustration at the castle, at her missing keyblade, at herself.  She had even snapped at Riku late one night when she returned to the Gummi Ship.  All he’d asked was if she’d found anything, and she’d nearly started blasting spells through the walls.  What was wrong with her?

It was a miracle any of them had agreed to help her after how much trouble she’d given them, but surprisingly, the three of them all did.  Even Lea, who she had expected would never want to set foot in the castle again.

“Ugh, didn’t I get punished enough at Yen Sid’s?”  He complained as he struggled to push aside a fallen beam blocking one of the castle’s interior doors.

“You’re the one who agreed to help,” Aqua reminded him.  “How _did_ Yen Sid punish you, anyway?”

“You wouldn’t believe it.  He made me and Kairi mop his whole floor!”  He grunted as he shoved on the beam; she joined next to him, trying to resist the urge to set it on fire instead.  “Seriously!  Floor was perfectly clean, but he insisted we get it sparkling before he’d let us leave!  Flaming mad, he is.”

“Don’t speak about Yen Sid that way,” she chided him out of habit.  The retired master deserved more respect than that, even if he hadn’t been able to solve most of her problems.

“I know, I know.  I should be grateful he let me train to be a Keyblade Master.  Step back.”

She did as she was told without arguing.  She was glad she did when he snapped his fingers, and the whole beam spontaneously combusted.

“Lea!”  Sure, she’d thought of casting Fire on the beam, but she wouldn’t have actually done it! She readied a hasty water spell, but the fire went out before she could use it.  All that was left of the beam was a smoking pile of ash.

He buffed his fingers against his black coat.  “No need to thank me.”

She rolled her eyes.  Honestly, Lea could be more arrogant than Van sometimes.

“How did you end up as a keyblade apprentice, anyway?”  She asked while cautiously opening the door.  They’d had debris rain on their heads once before, and she wasn’t eager to have it happen again.  The room seemed safe, though, if dark.  Drizzle zipped ahead of her, and his glowing white form lit the room slightly.  It was better than Lea trying to illuminate it with fire, at least.  

“Heh.  Now _that’s_ a long story.”  He followed her inside.  “Still don’t know how I got a keyblade in the first place, unless Roxas somehow passed it on to me.”

“Roxas?”  She asked, holding the smallest ball of Fire she could conjure in her palm.  This room looked just as unpromising as the last, though; it was filled with  overturned bookshelves and smashed furniture.  “Who’s that?  I don’t think I’ve met him yet.”  It seemed new keyblade wielders were appearing every time she blinked.  Maybe the light really was sending them to prepare for Xehanort’s return.

“Yeah, well, you won’t for a while.”  He sighed and began cleaning a path through the wooden debris.  Thankfully not with his fire this time.  “He was Sora’s Nobody.  He’s stuck in his heart until I can find a way to bring him back.”

LIke everything he and the others said, that brought up so many more questions than answers.  “Nobody?  What do you mean?”

He raised an eyebrow.  “Right.  Stuck in the Realm of Darkness for twelve years.  When someone becomes a Heartless, if their heart’s strong enough, sometimes part of themselves can go on living.  We call ‘em Nobodies.  Kinda confusing though, since it’s Heartless that don’t have bodies, and Nobodies that don’t have hearts.”  He shrugged and tossed a chair leg to the side.  It hit the wall with a _thunk._

“Wait.  So you’re telling me Heartless were once _people?”_ Again, so many questions, but that was the one that hit her the hardest.  All those Heartless she’d destroyed in the Realm of Darkness…!

“Not all of them.  Some already existed.  They’re kinda like zombies though.  Or maybe vampires.  Point is, they can turn people into more of them.”

“Oh…”  Master Eraqus had never taught her that.  All she’d known was that the Heartless were evil and must be kept from entering the worlds.  “So, about Roxas… you’re trying to save one of your friends, too?”

“Yeah.”  He chunked another piece of debris, harder this time.  “I promised I’d always be here to bring him back.”

She swallowed as she and Drizzle searched under a pile of disintegrating books.  She doubted her keyblade would be there, but she couldn’t breeze past knowing so many figurative stones had been unturned.  “I made a promise like that, too.”

Too many promises.  Terra, Ven, Van…

“Right.  This Vanitas guy we’re looking for.”  He snorted.  “You know, I was pretty mad at you at first.”

She looked up in surprise.  He was now leaning against a bookshelf that had remained upright.  

“You just waltz in out of nowhere, and suddenly all these people are head over heels trying to help you.  I’ve been trying to save my friend for over a year now.  You know how many people have offered to help me?”

She frowned.  “Surely they-”

“None.”  He clenched a fist.  “Not one.  In fact, they hated me for it for a while.”  He shook his head.  “Guess that’s my own fault.  Didn’t exactly go about it the best way.  Kidnapped the Princess, wanted to make Sora lose his heart again.  Whatever it takes, right?”

A shiver ran through her.  Lea usually seemed pretty harmless (if rather loud), but now… his green eyes glowed in the dim light like the center of a flame.

“That’s not the plan anymore.  Much as it kills me, I gotta leave this one to Sora and Riku.  They’re the ones with the ‘power to awaken hearts’ or whatever Yen Sid called it.  I know they can handle it, but they’ve got a million priorities ahead of getting Roxas back.”  He crossed his arms and shook his head.  “And now your Vanitas is one of them.”

“I’m… sorry.” It came out weak.  It was a lie, after all.  How could she really be sorry for trying to rescue her friend?

“No you’re not.”  He saw right through it.  “That’s okay, though.  There’d be something wrong with you if you were.”

“Lea…”  She met his glowing green gaze.  “Van is in trouble right now.  He’s not just waiting to be awakened; he’s fighting for his life in the Realm of Darkness.  After we save him, though… and after I go after my other friends… I would be happy to help you find a way to save Roxas.”

He smiled a little.  “I’ll probably be old and grey by then, Aqua.  But thanks for the thought.”

Though it didn’t reach her eyes, she tried to smile back.  When she went back to searching through the debris though, he spoke up unexpectedly.

“Hey, Aqua.”

“Yes?”  She looked up again.  His eyes seemed to see straight through her.

“Don’t make the same mistakes I did.  If getting Vanitas back lands you in a dark place… All I’m saying is you might regret doing ‘whatever it takes.’  Got it memorized?”

A shudder ran through her.  “...Yes.  I do.”

She couldn’t forget those haunting words if she tried.

XXX

That night, they had been too exhausted by the end of their search to do much besides pass out in the Gummi Ship.  The next day proved similarly draining, but they called it day in enough time to meet up for dinner.

“Find anything?”  Riku asked when their two scavenging parties reunited that evening in Even and Ienzo’s lab.

“Nada,” Lea answered.  “No keyblades.  Lots of flammable stuff Aqua wouldn’t let me set on fire, though.”

“Sorry, Aqua,” Mickey said sadly.  From across the laboratory, though, Ienzo’s head had perked up.

“You’re looking for a keyblade?”  He asked, tone eerily neutral considering how his eyes widened.  Well, one eye, at least.

“Yes.”  Aqua nodded.  “Did I not tell you?”

“You almost didn’t even tell _us,”_ Lea reminded her.  Right.  She hadn’t exactly been great at communicating lately.

She proceeded to explain to Even and Ienzo, “It was my old keyblade.  I used it to save Terra when he was falling into the Realm of Darkness.  I thought that since he was apparently here… Or, well, Xehanort was… He might have put my keyblade somewhere.”

Ienzo carefully set down the Wayfinder he had been testing spells on, then approached them.  “Tell me.  What did this keyblade look like?  Was it blue and grey?”

She blinked.  “Yes!  Have you-!”

“Follow me.”  Without any other explanation, he led the way out of the lab.  Aqua was right on his heels; Drizzle rushed to keep up with her.  The other members of their party struggled to keep up with Ienzo’s speedwalk.

“For having such short legs, he’s pretty quick,” Lea muttered.

Soon they were back in the study with Terra’s - Xehanort’s - portrait hanging like a mocking grave.  Ienzo ignored that, though, instead placing his hand on an inconspicuous part of the wall. Aqua jumped when a whole section of it suddenly disappeared.  Mickey was less surprised.

“Ansem’s - I mean, Xehanort’s - computer room?”  He asked.

“It’s a little more than that.”

“Ienzo, you mean-” Even stuttered.  Aqua hadn’t realized the older scientist had been following too.  She’d been too busy staring at the mysterious lights and electronics around the platform they passed over.  “This whole time, you’ve known what was in there _?_ And you never _told_ me!?”

“It was none of your concern,” Ienzo replied, falling into what sounded like a practiced, detached tone.  Almost as if he were a different person.  “I have always deplored intruding on another’s privacy.  What lay in the Chamber of Repose was between the Superior and his… ‘friend.’”

Lea nearly tripped in his haste to catch up to Ienzo.  “You’re taking us to the _Chamber of flaming Repose?”_

“Just the Chamber of Repose.  I think you’ll find it free of flames,” he said curtly, stopping at a giant computer at the end of the translucent platform.  

“Saix worked for _ages_ to find out what was in there!  Do you know how many times I-!  Eh heh, I mean, right.  Spying is ‘deplorable’ or whatever.”  He coughed.  Ienzo spared him a one-eyed glare before his fingers returned to flying over the keyboard.

“How did you know!?”  Even demanded, practically hysterical.  “Did the Superior tell you? No, that’s impossible, he never said a word about his usual spot.  Xigbar then?  That impudent-”

“Even, please do us all a favor and silence yourself,” Ienzo snapped.

“But-!”

“If you must know, I helped him build it.”  He slammed his palm down on a button, and another secret door opened.

“But why-?”

By this point, Ienzo looked exasperated enough to make Aqua pause, and she wasn’t even the focus of his annoyance.  “Because I was the only one he could trust to keep my mouth shut.  Silence and tact were qualities our Organization severely lacked.”

Even’s face reddened a bit at that.  He finally stayed silent as Ienzo led the group down another blue-grey hall and through _another_ secret entrance.  How many layers of security could one room possibly need?  

She thought that would be the end, but no; now there was a very creepy spiraling ramp that descended into a dark void.  It felt like strolling right back into the Realm of Darkness, but Ienzo didn’t break stride, so she was forced to follow.  It was a small comfort than the eerie atmosphere augmented by glowing red-and-purple pipes smothered the remaining whispered conversations.

Just when she’d started to think the spiral would go down forever, they reached a tall door.  Apparently, even this wasn’t their destination.  Inside they passed through a sterile hall lined with… were those prison cells?  What had been going on in this place?  And a better question: was anything _still_ going on?  Through barred diamond-shaped windows, they all appeared empty, but still…

At the door at the end of the hall, Ienzo finally paused.  

“Is this it?”  She asked, hoping she didn’t sound as nervous as she felt.  He nodded.

“This place was very important to the Superior.  I admit I had wondered from time to time why that was, though I had never expected to find an answer.  I will have some questions for you later, Aqua.”

She nodded.  If Ienzo had known Terra - a form of him, at least - then maybe he would have answers for her, too.

“What are we waiting for?”  Lea asked, brushing past them.

“Lea,” Ienzo replied in a warning tone before he could reach the door.  “I believe what lies inside the Chamber of Repose is between the Superior and Aqua.  Save your curiosity for somewhere it’s actually wanted.”

“That would be nowhere,” Even clarified.  Lea looked ready to snap back, but at a glare from Mickey and Riku, he just sighed.

“Fine.  Fine!  It’s probably just some lame fangirl shrine to Kingdom Hearts anyway!”

Aqua stepped up to the door and took a deep breath.  Stormfall might be in there.  Then again, so could any number of things.  As much as she hated to think about it, Terra had been possessed by Xehanort.  The old master had been twisted in so many ways, who knew what he would choose to hide in a private chamber?

There was only one way to find out.  She glanced back at Ienzo, who gave her a slight nod.  Then, as if responding to her mental command, the doors slid open and shut behind her.  Not, however, before Drizzle could slip in with her.  The Inversed held her tightly, as if it was as nervous about the room as she was.

She let out a breath she hadn’t realized she was holding in.  “Thank you…”

She finally scanned the chamber... and found it oddly familiar.  

_It looks almost exactly like where I left Ven,_ she realized.  That made no sense; Terra had never known where she left their friend.  Had he?  If so, he hadn’t disturbed him.

Much like the room in Castle Oblivion, a white throne sat at the center of the small chamber.  Unlike it though, the walls shimmered an ethereal grey, and a strange sigil repeated across them.  A pattern of chains linked the designs to the more intimidating-looking throne.  While Aqua placed her hand on one of the sigils, Drizzle zipped past and plopped himself down in the oversized chair.

“No, Drizzle-!”  She called out to him too late.

A light flooded the room, starting at the throne and bleeding out towards the walls.  She flinched, expecting… she wasn’t sure what.  Actually, she half expected a horde of Heartless to appear, or worse.

Nothing of the sort happened.   _Nothing_ happened, except it was now easier to see.

One of the chain patterns took longer to illuminate.  She followed the light with her eyes, all the way to…

Nothing.  There was nothing here.  Where was her keyblade?  Why had Ienzo been so certain she would find it here?  For how secretive he was about this place, she doubted he would have brought her unless he knew for sure.

_Maybe… maybe there’s another secret._ Drizzle lounged in the throne while she paced the circumference of the chamber.  She had to have been the first to pace this floor; her boots left scuff marks on the sterile surface.  Strangely, there was no layer of dust for her to disturb, though.

“Surely… there has to be something…”

_There!_ Her eyes barely caught it, and even then, she thought it might have been a mark from her boots.  But no, this mark was deeper.  Something had been stabbed into the floor here.

_Maybe a keyblade?_ She shook her head.  It was probably wishful thinking, but the groove _did_ look about the right size.  And now that she looked closer, there were scrape marks across the floor too.   _Blue_ scrape marks.

“My armor,” she realized.  “It’s the same shade.”  Some of the metallic coating could have scraped off.  She was growing increasingly sure of it.  Terra _had_ saved her blade and armor.

Terra was _here._ Terra was here, and… if he used to come here often…

“He remembered,” she whispered, kneeling on the scarred ground.  “A part of him...  a part of him is still fighting.”

A tear rolled down her cheek.  Her keyblade was nowhere to be found; she was back to square one.  That should have been enough reason to cry, but the tear didn’t hold her frustration or despair.  The sparkling drop was filled with something else entirely.

In that sterile, suffocating room, she shed a tear of hope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter might be a little rough, it was taking me so long I didn’t proofread as thoroughly as usual. *sweatdrop* I think it’s because I haven’t had to juggle so many characters in a while, but this was very difficult to write. Also, Even/Ienzo/Lea kept trying to take over. I expect that from Lea, but Even and Ienzo banter was surprisingly fun. I hope I kept them mostly IC; they get so little screentime as Somebodies in Dream Drop Distance, it was hard to tell what to do with them. And yes, I know they didn’t freak out at Lea for killing them in canon, but seriously, they should have! *huffs angrily*
> 
> Other notes that should have been implied but might not have been clear: Riku and Mickey have already worked with Even/Ienzo/etc a little since they’ve been back. They are trying to bring down Xehanort after all, and I think after everything they’ve been through, Ienzo&co have realized Xehanort’s not the best guy. Though they do still feel a bit of residual loyalty towards him, in things like respecting him as a person, I think they would be passively against him, if not actively working with the forces of light.
> 
> Anyway, things actually happening! Plot should hopefully keep picking up from here. Aqua still has a lot of crap to go through yet. I know how this is going to end now, and I think even though this is a midquel I’ll still get to surprise you in a good way :D 
> 
> Oh, also, I’ll probably be taking November off fanfiction writing for NaNoWriMo, so if I don’t show up for a while, that’s why. (We’ll see how long I last, considering Oathbringer also comes out in November… ^^;)
> 
> .
> 
> .
> 
> .
> 
> .
> 
> /“There’s always another secret”/
> 
> *shot*


	8. Obvious

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Takes place a few days after the last chapter.

“I’m sorry.”  Ienzo shook his head. Aqua caught a rare sight of his other eye when his bangs shifted.

She sighed, accepting her Wayfinder back from his outstretched hand.  She couldn’t say she hadn’t expected this.  It was just one more in a long series of disappointments.  

“It’s alright.  You and Even tried your best.”

“That we did.  I’m loathe to give up on an experiment without seeing success, but I would not tie you to this world with such a fragile thread of hope.”

She held the Wayfinder close, but its familiar presence was a small comfort.  If only she had bangs like Ienzo’s to hide the tears starting to prick the corners of her eyes.  “Yes, well… thank you for trying,” she managed to mumble.

“It should have worked,” he said to himself as he walked back to his workstation.  “I wish I knew _why…”_

Aqua didn’t care why.  It was just one more hope crossed off of an already dwindling list.  Questions like “why” would only torment her, like wondering why her keyblade and glider were missing.  Like wondering why they couldn’t risk using dark corridors if that ended up being their only option.

Like wondering why she still bothered to cling to any hope at all.

_Don’t think like that,_ she told herself as she slunk away from Ienzo.  The castle’s dilapidated halls were familiar to her by now; she could find her way out on her own easily enough.

Dilan and Aeleus weren’t guarding the door when she stepped out.  Apparently they had better things to do than constantly watch a crumbling castle that no one really wanted to visit anyway.  She hadn’t seen the two often in her week in Radiant Garden.

She leaned against a short wall overlooking the town.  Where before she had seen the hope of rebuilding a home, now she only picked out destruction and decay.  The small sections of town that were being repaired were nothing compared to the vast swaths that had been completely razed by Heartless attacks.  The monsters weren’t even gone.  She had seen them skulking in the shadows; she’d even gone hunting them when the dark thoughts plagued her mind and wouldn’t let go.  She preferred to fight them alone.  If she was alone, then no one was there to see how sometimes, just sometimes, a dark violet energy would spark through one of her spells.

Of course, she didn’t actually fight the Heartless _all_ alone; Drizzle stuck by her side like peanut butter on jelly.  Aqua glanced behind her, suddenly realizing that the Inversed was missing - but as soon as she did, he came zipping out the front door.  She smiled.

“Sorry for leaving you back there.”

He didn’t seem offended, if the way he snuggled up to her side and purred was any clue.  She scratched his head behind his antennae.  Even if he was silent, Drizzle was a good companion.  Maybe _because_ he was silent - Lea made sure their group rarely was.  And Riku and Mickey were always checking on her, asking her questions, making sure she was alright… She was starting to understand how Terra might have felt.  Dealing with a problem no one could really help, just wanting to be normal, feeling smothered by people who couldn’t understand…

_That’s not even true.  Riku understands. Lea does too, in a way._ She was grateful for them both.  So why did she keep running away from them?  Why, after all this time, did she just want to be alone?

She shook her head.  All those “whys,” still trying to haunt her.  There were better questions she should be asking.

“Where should we go next, huh?”  She mused aloud.  “Ienzo and Lea said the Organization used to operate in Castle Oblivion.  You think we’ll find any other ideas back there?”

Drizzle cocked his white head to the side, then shook it.  She sighed.

“No, me neither.”  If her keyblade had been there, she felt the Castle would have led her to it.  “Maybe the Keyblade Graveyard?  Xehanort always had a fascination with that place.  It would have been fitting to leave my keyblade there.”

Even as she said it, she shuddered.  Drizzle shuddered with her, shaking his head as vigorously as if he were trying to fling the idea out of it.  “I know.  I don’t like it either.”  Picturing her blade there… it would be like visiting her own tombstone.  “Do you have any better ideas, though?”

He thought for a moment.  Or at least, she assumed he was thinking.  Then in a blink he snatched the Wayfinder from her hands.

“Hey-!”

He held it over his head, squinting up at it with narrow blue eyes.  Then he brought it close, as if to sniff it.  After turning it over, swinging it by its cord, and balancing it on his head, he finally gave it back.

“Okay…  That doesn’t really tell me anything…”  Did he think she could still use the Wayfinder somehow?  Or had he just seen a shiny thing and been attracted to it?

In spite of Ienzo’s assurance that their experiments had failed, she tried channeling light into the charm.  To her surprise, it actually _worked -_ at least, more than it had since the Realm of Darkness.  The Wayfinder absorbed the light from her palms and glowed faintly.  When she tried to have it shoot out a guiding beam, though, it fizzled out uselessly.

“Well, it’s something,” she mumbled.  Maybe if she practiced with it, tried exercising her light again, she could eventually get it to work.  Ienzo had said their experiments hadn’t been entirely finished, after all.

Drizzle nodded and stood a little taller, as if his tinkering with it was the real reason anything happened.  Aqua had to laugh; he was just so cute.

“Thank you,” she told him, though she wasn’t sure what for.  Maybe just for helping her hold onto any spark of good humor.  Light knew she needed it.

Together they wandered back into town, heading for the little cafe that had become their group’s rendezvous point during the day since the Gummi Ship was parked a good ways outside the city.  During the long walk she fingered the piece of paper tucked in her belt.  Kairi had taken her to this world’s beach a few days before, and she’d sent off the letter she’d hidden in a potion bottle, but she still kept the original letter on her.  Sometimes, in her less rational moments, she wished she had sent it too.  She wished she’d sent a hundred letters.  Anything that would give Van a fraction of a chance at coming back.

_He still has a chance.  For all I know, that letter could have reached him already._ He could be strolling the halls of Castle Oblivion right now, grumbling at how bright it was.  Actually, if it was her letter that opened a portal, then it would probably bring him straight back to her.  It might not even matter that her Wayfinder wouldn’t work or that her keyblade and glider could be worlds away.  Of course, she wasn’t going to leave his fate up to chance, but it gave her another needed burst of hope.  For the first time in a while she allowed her mind to wander in a positive direction, to wonder what it would be like when they reunited.  Would he smirk and brag about how he would’ve beaten the Dark Wind anyway?  Would he be so stunned he’d just stare?  Would he tell her that he felt the same way about her that she did about him?

She shook her head at that last flight of fancy, but allowed the thought to warm her anyway.

“Hey!”  Lea flagged her down when she entered the small cafe, even though she couldn’t possibly miss his head of flaming red hair.  He sat alone at a booth; Mickey and Riku must not be back from helping the Restoration Committee take care of Heartless yet.  “You’re looking happier than usual.  Those eggheads back at the castle finally do something right?”

“Huh?”  She registered the smile on her face and blushed.  “Oh.  No, they definitely didn’t.”

He raised an eyebrow as she sat down.  Drizzle squished into the booth beside her.  Thankfully the citizens of Radiant Garden had seen so many strange things in the past years that her being followed by a giant white monster didn’t particularly faze any of the cafe’s other patrons.

“You got some other reason for grinning like a madwoman, then?”

“I was not ‘grinning like a madwoman,’” she replied firmly.  Unfortunately, her blush only grew hotter.  Better change the subject before he could pester anything out of her.  “Ienzo just gave me back my Wayfinder.  Whatever their experiments were supposed to do apparently didn’t work.”

Lea snorted.  “Go figure.  You should probably be glad they didn’t.  Knowing them, if it did work it probably would’ve made an evil clone of you.”

“...Has anyone told you that you say the weirdest things?”  She asked him.  She’d learned from Riku that sometimes the best way to deal with the flame-haired man was just to call him out.

“Once or twice.”  He grinned, crossing his arms and resting his elbows on the table.  Then his face grew more somber.  “Sorry it didn’t work out, though.  Really.”

“It’s fine.”  She sighed, trying to ignore how really not-fine it was.  The pleasant daydreams she’d briefly entertained during her walk evaporated.  “I’ll find another way.  I have to.”  Drizzle nodded at that.

“I’m sure you will,” Lea replied.  “You look like the stubborn type.”

She raised her eyebrows but decided to humor his train of thought.  “What makes you say that?”

“It’s the blue hair.”  He nodded towards her.  “Makes people do crazy stuff.”

She just blinked at that.  He really _did_ say the weirdest things.  It reminded her of the times she would stay up so late with Terra and Ven that all three of them would became delirious and lose their mental filters.

“Sorry,” he said unexpectedly, ruffling his spikes of hair.  “I don’t usually mouth off this much.  Been holed up in Yen Sid’s place for too long with just a Princess for company, I guess. And… well… coming back to the Gardens hasn’t exactly been a blast.”  It made sense; she felt a pang of guilt for not realizing it before.  This was his home, and from what it sounded like, it was just as empty for him as Castle Oblivion was to her.  At least he was handling it by cracking weird jokes, and not by cracking in pieces.  “It’s no excuse for taking it out on you, though.”

“It’s alright.  I haven’t handled my stress very well, either.”

He nodded at that.  Not that it had been a statement she meant for him to agree with.  “Sounds like we could both use a vacation, eh?”

“You mean you want to crash the Gummi Ship again?”  She teased.  “I don’t think Mickey would appreciate that.  Besides, I can’t afford a vacation right now _,”_ she replied.  Not in terms of munny, but in terms of time.  Any vacations would have to wait until Van was safe.

“How about a date, then?”

The casually-asked question caught her completely off guard, like a Heartless piercing her Barrier spell.  “A - a what?”  She had to have misheard him.  Right?

Of course not.  She wasn’t that lucky.

“A date.  Y’know, like when two people do something fun and get to know each other?  ...Flaming pants, I sound like I’m giving a Life Lesson again…” He groaned, wiping his hand down his face.  “Point is, you’ve been in the Realm of Darkness for ten-plus years.  I’ve been a Nobody for ten-plus years.  Might be good for both of us to get out, right?”

“Uh…” Her face turned about as red as his hair.   _Why does this keep happening?_ She thought back to Zack and briefly wondered what had happened to the young man.  Hopefully he’d become a hero and found some other young woman to charm.

Lea was grinning hopefully at her, waiting for an answer.  Light, what should she say?  She wanted to say no, of course, but they were going to be traveling together for who knew how long.  The last thing she wanted was to create even more awkward situations.

“I’m sorry,” she finally replied, fumbling for words.  “I’m, uh… taken.”

Her face burned even hotter, if that was possible.  She wanted to smack herself.   _That_ was the first excuse she thought of?  Light, she’d even handled turning down Zack better…

“Really.  You’ve been stuck in the Realm of Darkness for ten years, and you’re taken.”  He raised an eyebrow.  “I’m a big boy, y’know.  If you’re worried about hurting my feelings, don’t be.  I got along fine without ‘em for long enough.”

She tried to sink deeper into her seat.  Drizzle glared daggers at Lea while putting an arm around her.  

Lea laughed sheepishly.  “You know what?  Nevermind.  Everyone's always telling me to keep my nose out of there business.  It’s probably about time I listened to them.”

“Thank you,” she said in a burst of relief.  But then, seeing how awkward his own face looked, she couldn’t help trying to explain herself.  “I was being honest, though… mostly.”  She winced.  How would Van react to her saying this?  He didn’t have to know, of course, but she couldn’t help wondering.  If it ever got back to him…  Maybe she should just drop it.

Too late.  Lea was leaning forward, obviously intrigued.  So much for not sticking his nose in people’s business.  “Yeah?”

“Why am I still talking about this?”  She asked herself.  Lea had a wide grin now though, which looked like it would explode into a laugh at any moment.  She scowled.  “What?”

“Man, I can’t believe I didn’t get it sooner!”  He let out the pent-up laugh - more like a cackle, actually.  “You _weren’t_ lying to make me feel better.  You and that Vanitas guy were a thing!”  He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

“Wh- why in the worlds would you say that!?”

“Who else would it be?  Your Heartless buddy there?”  He jerked a thumb towards Drizzle, who twitched like he wanted to leap over the table and slap him across the face.

“Inversed,” she corrected reflexively while putting a hand on Drizzle’s shoulder.  

“Yeah, yeah.  So what’s he like?  Tall?  Dark? Handsome?”

_Well… two of those three,_ she thought briefly.

“Probably tall and handsome, eh?” Lea said, and only then did she realize she’d said that out loud.  She groaned and actually _did_ smack her face this time.  

“Shut up…” she muttered.  Why did _Lea_ of all people have to be the one to guess?  Better him than Mickey, she supposed; at least Lea didn’t have any connection to him.  Only, if he said anything when Van got back… “You can _not_ tell anyone.”

“Hey, I’m no Xigbar.  Your secret’s safe with me.”  He grinned and reclined in the booth, fingers laced behind his head.

“I mean it.  If he found out…”  She bit her lip.  It wasn’t like telling him was _completely_ out of the question, but she certainly didn’t want anyone else forcing her hand.

“Sorry, sorry.  I might tease you to your face, but I won’t go saying anything behind your back.”  He shrugged.  

She rubbed her forehead. “I suppose that’s some kind of payback for turning you down?”

“Nah, it’s just ‘cause I don’t have anyone else to tease anymore.  Don’t worry about the date; I just thought it’d be good to get out and do something fun.  No big deal.”

“What’s no big deal?”

Aqua almost jumped out of her seat when she heard Riku’s voice.  “N-nothing!”  How had he snuck up on them like that?  Okay, Drizzle was blocking her view on that side, but still.  When had he and Mickey gotten here?

“Ya sure?”  Mickey asked, eyeing Lea skeptically.

“Yep.  Nothing here but some friendly bonding time,” the redhead lied smoothly.  Or maybe it wasn’t a lie; after all, they had become friends - albeit strange ones - over the past week, and he was the first one she’d admitted her feelings for Van to.  That probably counted as bonding.  “About time you guys showed up.  I’m gonna go order.”

He slipped out of the booth and made for the counter.  Riku just shook his head.  Apparently she wasn’t the only one that Lea confused.

After Riku and Mickey sat down, she explained the Wayfinder problem.  Mickey’s eyes widened in surprise; Riku just nodded like he had expected as much.

“Gosh, Aqua, I’m sorry.  I sure thought Even and Ienzo could help.”

She just shrugged, her earlier melancholy returning.  “I’ll find another way.”

“You’ve got a new plan, then?”  Riku asked.

“The best idea I have is still finding my keyblade,” she replied more confidently than she felt.  “Ienzo thinks that Xehanort moved it somewhere, maybe because the castle here is occupied again.  He didn’t have any solid theories on where he would have hidden it, though.”

“With our luck, probably the Chamber of Waking,” Lea said as he returned with a tray stacked with four burgers.  He scooted in next to Riku and dropped it on the table.

“What’s the Chamber of Waking?” Aqua asked, grabbing whatever burger Lea had ordered for her this time.  She had given him and Riku permission to surprise her; they seemed to know how to pick the best ones.

“A place that probably doesn’t even exist.”  Lea snorted.  “Bet Xigbar just made it up to send me and Saix on a wild goose chase.  He said it was the companion to the Chamber of Repose, and that Xemnas - or Xehanort, whatever - was looking for it.”

That’s right; she’d heard him mention it - or complain about it, more accurately - in passing during their few days together.  “But you never found it?”

“Nope.” He took a hearty bite of his triple cheeseburger.  “Not for lack of trying, though.  I searched Castle Oblivion from top to bottom when I was in the Organization.”

Aqua’s eyes widened, and not just from the delicious taste of her avocado bacon burger.  “I _created_ Castle Oblivion, Lea.  If anyone can find it, I can.”

He sputtered, mustard spraying out of his mouth.  A tiny speck hit Drizzle in the face; the Inversed swatted at it fiercely.  “You’re kidding!  You get into the Chamber of Repose, and now you’re telling me you can find Waking too?  Where the heck were you when I was slaving away in the Organization!?”

“Slaving away in the Realm of Darkness,” she replied.  Her tone came out flatter than she meant it.  “So, this Chamber of Waking.  What did Xehanort expect to find there?”

Lea shrugged.  “Beats me.  Saix had some suspicions, but… well… let’s just say he got more tight-lipped the longer we were in the Organization.”

To her surprise, Riku set down his burger to put a hand on Lea’s shoulder.  A look passed between them, something she couldn’t understand, only guess at.  Maybe Roxas wasn’t the only friend Lea wanted back.

“Well, I suppose it won’t hurt to look for it,” she said, even though she suspected she would’ve found her keyblade already if it were in Castle Oblivion.  She hadn’t specifically gone searching for it, though, so there was still a chance.  At this point, feeble chances were all she had to go on.  “Is everyone alright if we leave tonight?”

“I think Leon can manage without us.”  Riku nodded.  “I’ll just need to say goodbye to Kairi before we go.”

“Heh, Princess isn’t going to like us leaving her behind again,” Lea commented.

“We wouldn’t have to if _someone_ hadn’t crashed our ship.”

“Alright, I walked into that one…”

They parted ways again a short time later, Riku and Mickey heading back towards the Restoration Site, Lea heading… she still wasn’t sure where Lea was spending his time.  Maybe annoying Kairi at Merlin’s?  

Aqua’s feet instinctively started carrying her towards the castle. There was nothing left for her there, though; she had given up on finding her keyblade in its heaps of rubble.  She forced herself to stop and lean against a brick ledge.  Reorient herself.  That’s what she needed to do.

The sun still hung high in the sky.  For a rare time since her first day here, Aqua relished the warmth of it on her face.  She was back in the light, and how much time had she spent appreciating it?

Drizzle hopped up on the wall and swung his legs off the edge.  He closed his eyes and tilted his head towards the sun.

“It feels good, doesn’t it?”  Aqua said with a smile, letting her own eyes fall closed.  Deep breaths.  She couldn’t leave until nightfall anyway; as much as her feet wanted to move, rushing about aimlessly would do her no good.  It was almost relieving to have to wait on the others, in spite of how she missed the autonomy of traveling on her glider.  She hadn’t taken a break in… well, since arriving in the light.  Unless she counted the few minutes to inhale a meal or take care of personal hygiene, every waking moment had somehow been tied to bringing Van home.

She couldn’t see that as a bad thing.  Urgency was important, as her quickly-beating heart always reminded her.  But if it caused her to ignore the sun she’d so longed to see…

Her eyes flickered open when she felt a tapping on her shoulder.  She blinked at the sight of Drizzle’s arm curled around a delicate wildflower.  He proffered it to her, practically shoving it into her face.

She laughed. “Where did you find that?”  

He pointed with his other arm down to a small clump of grass poking through a crack between the wall and the cobbled ground.  Then, at his insistent purring, she accepted the flower.  

“Thank you.”  She inspected it with a smile; it had a yellow center and five fragile petals tinted a pale blue.  “It’s beautiful.”

Drizzle nodded like it was obvious.  Which it was, she supposed.  Just as obvious as the warmth of the sun, and the beauty of a cloudless sky, and the care of her new friends.  

She realized she’d been doing a pretty good job of missing the obvious.  Was it any wonder she would find herself bombarded by darkness when she had ignored the light?

“Come on,” she told Drizzle as she hopped down from the wall.  “It’s a beautiful day.  I think it’s about time we enjoyed it.”

He nodded emphatically at that, but she didn’t get far before he stopped and grabbed her hand.

“Hm?”  She asked.  His thin arm reached through her fingers, taking back the flower she held there.  She was about to ask why when he stepped closer and tucked the fragile thing in her hair.

She laughed, reaching up to position it behind her ear so it wouldn’t fall out.  “I’m not sure why you’d put it there, Drizzle.  It’ll just blend in with my hair.”

He didn’t answer, of course.  He just hugged her and then flounced off down the street.  With another laugh, she chased after him.

“Get back here, silly!”  They were in a less populated section of town; she was free to push her stride to its limits to catch up to the rogue Inversed.  She held a hand to her ear to keep the flower from blowing away.

Suddenly Drizzle stopped, spun - and she plowed right into his hug.  Of course that was all he was up to.  The crazy creature would never really run from her.  As usual, his squishy hug comforted her in a way she could never fully understand.  It didn’t stop her from being fully grateful.

“You silly thing.  What would I do without you?”

His self-satisfied purr seemed to say, _Something stupid, probably._ Or maybe that was just her memories of Van talking.

After extracting herself from his tight hug, they continued on, breathing in the late autumn air and enjoying the golden afternoon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More was going to happen in this chapter, and then suddenly it was 9 pages and I hadn’t gotten to most of the important parts. ^^;;; So here we have some fluff and humor as a breather before stuff goes down. *evil grin* Probably a good thing that I split it, actually, because I’ll be taking November off from fanfiction for NaNoWriMo and wouldn’t want to leave you guys on an awful cliffhanger. I’ve never tried NaNo before, so wish me luck!
> 
> Also, in the meantime if you’re looking for some other Van/Aqua stuff, Ejes has started a really cute drabble series called “Secret Place”! Definitely worth checking out! (It might be friendship or romance, it’s not far along enough to tell yet.)  
> Other notes on this chapter: Lea has issues. Long story short, he deals with those issues by joking and kind of reverting personality-wise more to how he was back when he was BbS!Lea. Him mentioning “Life Lessons” was referring to him teaching Roxas (and Xion, though he doesn’t all the way remember that) about various life things. I think Raberba girl started the phrase and it’s gotten cycled through most of my fanfics with Axel in them. And yes, Lea really isn’t torn up about Aqua; I just see him as the type who would ask out almost anyone at this point. Plus, Aqua’s pretty. So there’s that. :P
> 
> I guess that does bring up the issue I keep running into though… Lea/Axel’s age. I know he’s like 25 and probably too old for her but I honestly have always had the hardest time seeing Lea/Axel as a real adult. *sweatdrop* Plus my headcanon is that Aqua looks older for her age. So yeah I’m sorry if that part seemed squicky…! ...Though ironically Aqua’s technically older than him, I don’t think the time-warp of the RoD really counts.
> 
> Well that was a lot of rambling. Without further ado, what everyone’s actually been waiting for… the poll results!  
> In order from least votes to most:
> 
> Please don't do a crossover: 1  
> Crossover with Stormlight Archive (specifically, the chasm scene from Words of Radiance): 1  
> I don't care as long as it's canon setting: 2  
> Please include Ven: 3  
> Please include Terra: 3  
> A canon setting Vanitas/Aqua and Terra/Cinderella idea I've had for a while (might be a little darker than my usual stuff): 3 (lol already started writing this anyway X’D)  
> Beauty and the Beast AU: 3  
> Aqua and Van go shopping after the events of "Cast a Shadow": 5  
> Vanitas has amnesia and Xehanort uses the opportunity to make him go train with the BbS trio: 5  
> What would've happened if Vanitas had merged with Aqua instead of Ven: 7  
> Vanitas takes Aqua on a date after the events of "Cast a Shadow" (Possibly involving some "advice" from Riku): 9
> 
> And the winner is…!  
> Everyone finds out about Van and Aqua's relationship after the events of "Cast a Shadow," and they have to set the rumors straight: 10
> 
> Thanks everyone for voting! I’ll still probably need to finish this fic before I can write that one, but it will happen! Also, credit to the Unplanner for submitting that idea! I’m surprised at how close the poll ended up being, for a while it looked like Aqua and Van merging was going to win.
> 
> Also note: even if a fic didn’t win, I might still end up writing it eventually. I mean, look at what happened with “Stroke of Midnight.”


	9. Yes, No, Feel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Long time no update!
> 
> This could be seen as kind of a late Thanksgiving special? Sort of? It just so happened to coincide with the plot so I went with it ^^
> 
> Oh, and after making it halfway through NaNoWriMo with a solid 25,000 words, I got so sick of my story and derailed by reading Oathbringer that I decided not to finish. It was a good run, but I’m excited to be back to working on this story for now!

_ Things I’m grateful for: _

_-Sunshine_

_-Drizzle_

_-Van_

_-Terra_

_-Ven_

_-This Gummi Ship_

_-Mickey knowing how to fly a Gummi Ship_

_-Not being here when Lea crashed the Gummi Ship_

_-Van_

_-Knowing Ven’s safe even if he’s not awake_

_-Real food_

_-Riku and Mickey and Lea_

“You really think you can find the Chamber of Waking?”  Lea asked, interrupting Aqua’s journaling.  She snapped the blue notebook shut - she had spent some time coloring it again while waiting on the others in Radiant Garden - and looked up at the redhead.

“That’s the one thing I’m confident I can find.  If it exists as you say,” she added.  If it was a myth like he had feared, then obviously none of them would be able to find anything.

“Huh.”  He sat down in the seat next to her, stretching his legs out into the Gummi Ship’s aisle.  “Whatcha writing?”

_Nothing_ was what she wanted to say, but that was silly.  There was nothing embarrassing in what she was doing.  Even if she’d belatedly realized she’d written Van’s name twice, and had done nothing to correct that.  “I’m making a gratitude list.  I thought it might help me focus my light.”  

She’d practiced her light magic earlier in the day, with mixed results.  Sometimes her Lightbloom shotlock and Teleport Strike finish command would work as well as they used to, and sometimes they were still laced with darkness.  Straight light spells had always been Ven’s forte more than hers, but that was no excuse for her failure.  The more she noticed the darkness, the more she was discouraged, and the more difficult it became to channel her light.  Like a downward spiral.  She’d eventually given up to decorate her journal instead, feeling that the soothing distraction would be good for her.  It had worked for the time being.

“Huh.  Not a bad idea, I guess.”  He shrugged.  “Roxas was always good at light spells.  I wish I could tell you what he did, but I think it just came naturally to him.”

“Well, some people are just fortunate like that.”  She suppressed a sigh.  I _used to be fortunate like that…_ No, this was no time for self-pity. “What was Roxas like?”  She asked.

Lea chuckled; she didn’t miss how his eyes lit up.  “He’s a funny kid.  We met in Organization XIII, you know - he was a Nobody like me.  Only, he was different from the rest of us. Most of us keep our memories, but he woke up blank as a zombie.”

“That sounds like Ven,” Aqua interjected with a smile.  “When Master Xehanort left him to train with us, he had been in a coma.  When he woke up, he didn’t remember anything.”

“Heh.  You have to teach him everything, then?” Lea asked.

“Yes, those were some of our fondest memories together.  It was difficult at first, and of course the Master helped, but Terra and I really helped him learn the important things.”

“Like what ice cream is?”  Lea grinned.  She laughed a little.

“Well, I guess… What about you?”  She asked, realizing she’d derailed him from the original question.  “Did you teach Roxas many things?”

“Too many, probably. And yet not enough.”  He ruffled his hair sheepishly.  “He always had these big questions.  About why we needed hearts, and what love is, and what friends are supposed to do, and why he had the keyblade.  I think that’s why he left, because I couldn’t give him good enough answers.”

A somber look clouded his eyes.  Aqua still didn’t know Lea’s whole story; she had never felt right pressing it.  She hoped that sharing this was good for him, and not dragging him back down.

“I’m sure it wasn’t your fault,” she replied, even though she had no way of being sure at all.  What did she know?  Well, she _did_ know that Lea cared for his friend.  That was enough.  “I lost Ven too, you know.  I couldn’t protect him.”

“I know.  We wouldn’t be trying to get to the Realm of Darkness if you- wait.  Ven - is that different from Van?”

“Huh? Oh.”  She laughed.  “Yes.  Ven is short for Ventus; he was an apprentice with me.  Van is short for Vanitas; he… wasn’t.”  She didn’t particularly want to go into that backstory right now.

“Ah.  Gotcha.”  He nodded.  “Ventus… why do I feel like I’ve heard that name before…?”

Aqua didn’t have time to ask, because Drizzle came zipping up the aisle towards her.  He popped out of the floor and sprang up onto Lea’s lap.  The redhead made a choking sound and tried to shove the Flood away, but he kept a tight grip on his neck.  Aqua couldn’t help laughing.

“That’s his seat you took,” she explained to Lea, who was still fighting the spontaneous hug.

“Someone could’ve _told_ me instead of assaulting me…!”

Riku followed behind Drizzle at a slower pace.  “Thanks for letting me borrow him, Aqua.  We’re about to land at Castle Oblivion soon.”

“It’s no trouble,” she replied as Lea finally slipped out from under Drizzle, leaving him in the chair next to Aqua.  “Did you have fun with Riku, Drizzle?”

He purred and nuzzled her in response.

“He seemed to like the Shield Cookies I fed him,” Riku said.  “I think he acts more like a Dream Eater than a Heartless or lesser Nobody.”

“What are you, Even and Ienzo’s apprentice now?” Lea snorted, crossing his arms and leaning over the back of Drizzle’s seat.

“I don’t have to be a scientist to care about what kind of creatures we’re working with.”

“Wait, you said he _ate_ something?”  Aqua interrupted.  “I didn’t know Unversed - or Inversed for that matter - could eat.”

Lea raised an eyebrow.  “It doesn’t have a _mouth.”_

Riku just shrugged in response to that, and then the Gummi Ship was landing.  Lea clutched the chair to keep from falling over when the ship slowed and gently hovered to the ground.

All of Aqua’s earlier anticipation came rushing back.  She shoved her journal and pen into a pocket she’d created on the inside of her skirt.  Barely waiting for Mickey to give the all-clear, she the rushed to the door with Drizzle on her heels.

“Yo, it’s not a race!”

It didn’t matter.  What mattered was that her keyblade could be here; she could be one step closer to rescuing Van.  She didn’t care if that chance was slim; she didn’t waste time worrying.  The large double doors opened at her mental command, not even waiting for her to use Master Keeper.

Against her instincts, she waited for the others to catch up before leading them into the depths of the Castle.

_The Chamber of Waking, Chamber of Waking, Chamber of Waking…_ She repeated the name in her mind, willing the Castle to lead her there.  Thankfully she and Drizzle didn’t have to use cards to fight like the other three, so they took care of most of the Heartless that inevitably appeared on their way.

“I hope this one doesn’t have as many secret layers of security as the Chamber of Repose,” Lea commented as they went.  He had summoned his keyblade, a fiery looking thing, even though it wouldn’t do much without cards.  He was the only one besides Aqua who hadn’t brought a deck with him.

“Me too,” she agreed.  The tugging in her heart assured her that she was close now, in spite of the lack of landmarks.

Then, to her surprise, they _did_ reach a landmark she recognized.  The Wielder’s Mark, the same symbol fastened to the center of her Wayfinder, glowed on the door at the end of the room.  She knew what lay beyond that door.

“Ven,” she whispered, halting in the center of the room.  Why had the Castle brought her here?  She wanted to find the Chamber of Waking, not - “Ohhh,” she breathed, feeling like a complete fool.  “Of course.”

“What?”  Lea asked.  “Is this it or not?”

“It is.”  She sighed.  “But… it’s not what we’re looking for.”

“How do you know?”  He approached the door, but she ran to cut him off.

“No.”  She stood firmly.  “This place… there’s a reason you never found it.  This is between me and him.”

“Him?”  Riku asked, striding up beside Lea.

“Ven.  Ventus,” she clarified.  “I checked on him before you found me here.  He’s safe enough, but…” How could she explain?  The heartless body of her friend was resting in there, and she felt wrong to bring in outsiders, no matter how well-intentioned.  Like violating a tomb.

_No!  Don’t think like that.  He’s alive._ A tear leaked down her face; when she moved to brush it away, she accidentally swept the blue flower Drizzle had given her from her hair.  He slid across the floor to pick it up and hand it back.  “Thanks.”

“So Ven’s still safe?”  Mickey asked hopefully.  “When you didn’t come back, Yen Sid and I never knew what happened to him.  Gosh, has he been here this whole time?”

Aqua nodded, twirling the flower’s stem back and forth between two pinched fingers.  “He’s still asleep, though.  I don’t know how to return his heart yet.  That will be my next task after rescuing Van.”

Mickey nodded at that.  “Alright.  I can respect you wanting to keep him safe, Aqua.  But where are we gonna look next?”

All eyes went to hers, even Drizzle’s glowing blue ones.  She swallowed, trying not to feel the pressure of their combined gaze.  She’d hoped that if this didn’t work out, one of them might have another idea, but now…

“The Keyblade Graveyard,” she whispered.  Drizzle twitched violently at the words.

“The what?”  Lea asked at the same time Mickey exclaimed, “ _There?”_

“I… it’s the only other place I know Xehanort had a connection to.  And it would be a good hiding place.”  She tried to suppress a shudder of her own.   _The Keyblade Graveyard… the last place Ven was truly alive.  The last place Terra was himself.  The place I faced off against Ven and Vanitas at the same time…_

It was the last place she wanted to see.  But what else could she do?

“Okay,” Mickey agreed, “but I think we should wait ‘til morning now.  It’s pretty late; we should all get some rest before going… there.”

“Yes.”  She nodded emphatically.  Anxious as she was, sleep would be a welcome buffer before facing that horrid wasteland again.

“‘Scuse me, is anyone gonna tell me what this place is?”  Lea asked again, less patiently this time.  “If I don’t get to see inside the Chamber I spent _years_ looking for, at least give me that much.”

“I’ll tell ya later,” Mickey assured him.  “I think we should give Aqua some time right now, though.”

“Thank you.” She forced a smile for him.  For once he hadn’t asked if there was anything he could do, which was the best thing he could do right now. She did… just need a moment…

When the three of them were gone, she knelt on the ground and let the tears flow again.  Why? Why did she keep getting her hopes up?  How was hope supposed to help her fight the darkness, if all it did was flee as soon as she got close?

Drizzle sunk down beside her and rested his head on her shoulder.  It wasn’t enough to comfort her right now, though.  Her hand went to clutch her Wayfinder, but it first brushed against her journal hidden in her skirt.  On a whim, she pulled it out and flipped to her last entry.

_ Things I’m grateful for: _

_-Sunshine_

_-Drizzle_

_-Van_

_-Terra_

_-Ven_

_-This Gummi Ship_

_-Mickey knowing how to fly a Gummi Ship_

_-Not being here when Lea crashed the Gummi Ship_

_-Van_

_-Knowing Ven’s safe even if he’s not awake_

_-Real food_

_-Riku and Mickey and Lea_

She fought the frustration-driven impulse to scribble the whole thing out.  Why bother being thankful when none of those things were helping her save Van?  When in spite of being in the light, her life was still one long series of coming up short?

She almost ripped out the page.  Almost.  Instead, she forced herself to take out her pen… and keep writing.

_-Being alive_

_-Knowing my friends care about me_

_-Being free from the Dark Wind_

_-My eyes not being yellow_

_-Decorating this journal today_

_-Drizzle’s flower_

_-How the wind felt on my face_

_-Even and Ienzo trying to help even though I don't really know them_

_-Not needing cards to fight in Castle Oblivion_

Her pen scribbled recklessly.  Some of her thoughts were deeper than others; some were more specific, some more general.  It didn’t matter to her.  What mattered was that they were all things that were _real._ Her doubts, her worries, her fears: those were the lies she told herself, the lies that tried to stop her from trying.  Tried to make her believe that everything was horrible and hopeless.

“It's not hopeless,” she told herself out loud, because she needed to hear herself say it.  “There’s… there’s always a way…”

“ _Yes_.”

Aqua quickly looked up from her journal, which was now stained with a few clear blots.  Was that… that hadn't been her voice, had it?  “Who’s there?”

“ _Yes_ ,” the voice repeated.  It was soft, high-pitched, and a little fuzzy.  Where was it coming from?

“Did you hear that?”  She asked Drizzle.

“ _Yes_.”  He nodded, and she gasped.  Was he-

“Are you- Drizzle, is that _you?”_

“ _Yes!”_ His little voice chimed happily.  She scrambled away from him in shock, scattering her journal, pen, and the flower.  The Inversed tilted his head.  “ _Yes?”_

“You- you can talk now,” she said in disbelief.  Then a grin burst onto her face.  “You can talk now!”

“ _Yes!”_ He bounced up and flung his skinny arms in the air.  Had all of his purring led up to this?  To being able to form real words?  It seemed impossible, even for an Inversed as unique as him.

“This is great!  Is there any way you can get a message to Van now?”  She asked, daring yet again to hope.

His antennae twitched. “ _Y-yes?”_ He sounded unsure.  Was ‘yes’ the only word he could say?  “ _Y-yes… No.”_ He nodded definitively.  “ _No.”_

Her heart fell again.  “Can he send a message to us?  Can you feel him?”

Drizzle’s eyes clenched shut; for once he went still.  “ _Yes… feel.  Feel…”_

“Feel what? What does he feel?”  She stood and gripped his shoulders, probably more firmly than she should have.  In her haste she almost crushed the blue flower that had fallen to the floor.

“ _Feel… feel?”_ He started twitching again, more frantically before.  Had she scared him?

“I’m sorry.”  She quickly let go and took a step back, but he launched himself at her, throwing his skinny arms around her shoulders.

_“Feel… don’t go.  Don’t go…”_

“I’m not going anywhere,” she assured him, patting his back.  “Or is that what Van’s feeling?  Does he want me back?”

“ _Yes? No? Feel?”_

Well, just because the Flood could speak didn’t mean his words would make sense.  For all she knew he was mostly repeating words she’d said at some point or another, like a parrot.

“It’s okay.  Don’t worry.”  She held Drizzle, comforting the shaking creature as he had comforted her so many times before.

_“Don’t go.  Don’t go… feel… no…”_

His small voice shook as badly as his body.  What had upset him so?  Had it been something she’d said?  Or was it something from his connection to Van?

“No one’s going anywhere, Drizzle… Drizzle?”

Something was wrong.  Something beyond his shaking, beyond the tremor in his voice.  Her eyes had been closed, but she blinked them open.  And gasped.

White mist was wisping from Drizzle’s form.

“Drizzle!”  She clung to him tighter, as if she could hold the mist in place.  “What’s happening!?”

_“Don’t go… don’t… Awk-wa…”_

Her breath hitched as she tried to say his name.  “No… no…” She shook her head, searching for a Potion.  If he could eat a Shield Cookie, he could drink the healing item, right?  Her hands shook as she searched her commands.

“ _Feel… yes?”_ He took the green drink she offered.  She still didn’t see any mouth, but he held it to the bottom of his head and tilted it until it disappeared.   _“Feel… no.”_

He shook his head, dropping the bottle.  Green dregs spilled on her journal, but she didn’t care.  His form was still slowly dissolving.

“Why?”  She cried.  “Why now?  You can finally talk to me, Drizzle, I don’t understand!”

_“No…”_ He shook his head again, as if he didn’t understand either.  The white smoke seemed to evaporate faster at the motion.  “ _Don’t go… feel… feel...!”_

Tears fell down on her journal between them, joining the potion dregs.  The top page was thoroughly ruined by now.  Fitting, because her heart felt the same way.

“Drizzle… please… don’t leave me too…” She choked.  It didn’t make any sense! Not unless… unless…. “Is it Van? What’s happening to him?”

His left antennae and arm had evaporated by now.  She could hardly watch through her tears, but she did see him nod.

“No…” She clenched a fist over her heart.  “We have to help him! I can’t lose him too!”

Drizzle - or what was left of him - either didn't hear or wasn’t able to respond to her exclamation.  He fell to the ground - no, he was kneeling, with his one leg that was still whole.  His arm reached to scoop up something lying there.  Her flower.

_“Awk-wa… feel…”_ With a touch as gentle and light as snow, he tucked the flower behind her ear.  That arm and his face were about all that was left.  She clung to that arm with a trembling hand, feeling panic overtake her.

“Cure!”  She shouted.  Of course, the green glow did nothing for him.  “Light, _Cure!”_ She yelled a curse.  Aqua didn’t curse, but she did now.  She cursed against the light, the darkness, and the void in between. Against everything that had first cursed her.

“ _Feel… ll...llll…”_ Drizzle’s small newborn voice faded with the last shreds of her hope.

The white mist, the vapor that had once been him, hung in the air.  Then with a faint gasp, it rose to the ceiling and was gone.  

Aqua fell to her knees.  Her heart screamed as if Drizzle had been created from her own emotions, not Van’s.  Her voice wordlessly joined it.

Gone.  Drizzle, her unlikely, affectionate friend, was gone.

“Drizzle… Van…!” Something snapped in her, a pillar that had supported her this whole time in the Realm of Light.

Van was dead.  He had to be.  Why else would his Inversed disappear so suddenly?

Grief and rage mixed in her chest, swirling together like ice and fire.  Her fingers splayed over her journal, ripped the page she’d been writing on from the binding.  What was there to be grateful for?  Van was dead.  Ven was heartless, good as dead as well.  And Terra… if he wasn’t dead, he probably wished he was.

And Aqua herself?  She felt the darkness rising in her veins.  A power feeding on the frozen fire of her grief and despair.

“I… maybe I should be dead too…”

Not sparing a thought for how pathetic she looked, she curled into a ball.  The paper crumpled in her trembling fist.

_Give up. Give in.  It’s over._

_It’s over…_

That thought was the darkness’s favorite meal.  It fed and multiplied, freezing her from the inside out.  What was the point in fighting it?  It had taken each of her friends in turn.  Why should she be any different?

“Van… Terra… Ven… I'm sorry.”

She lay there, sobbing into the emptiness, until unconsciousness finally engulfed her.


	10. Nightmare

Lea missed the dark corridors.  Sure, they were apparently full of evil that might try to invade the Realm of Light if he so much as tried to open one, but they were also flaming convenient.  Especially when you needed to navigate a castle that was literally created to keep you wandering around in oblivion.

Not that he’d done much wandering.  No, he’d left Aqua alone like Mickey’d said, but he couldn’t resist hanging around in a nearby room for when she came out, on the off chance she’d change her mind about letting him see the Chamber of Waking.

 _No, bad Lea,_ he told himself.   _That girl’s got enough problems without you bugging her.  Besides, how would you feel if Roxas was snoozing somewhere and a bunch of people wanted to spy on him?_

He shook his head.  Curiosity about the Chamber of Waking was one reason he’d stuck around, but not the only one.  In spite of their week or so together, Aqua was still a walking mystery.  Riku and Mickey had filled him in on some parts that she hadn’t deigned to explain, but he still felt like he was walking blind.  How had she gotten trapped in the Realm of Darkness in the first place? Why did Mickey and Riku seem to instinctively trust and help her find her friend, in spite of her obvious issues?  They hadn’t been so immediately understanding when _he’d_ joined their side.  Maybe it was because she was a girl.

That didn’t bother him much.  He wasn’t jealous of her anymore… really.  Aqua seemed like a girl after his own now-existent heart.  Lost a friend, ready to do anything to save him.

 _That_ was what worried him.  And that thought was what pinned him to this room, pacing the pale floor.  By now he’d accepted the strange phenomenon that he’d end up becoming friends - or at least acquaintances - with any keyblader, and Aqua was no exception. Issues aside, he could tell she had a good heart.  He didn’t want to see her go down the same path he had.

At the same time, could he blame her for leaning that way?  Apparently this Vanitas was even more to her than a friend.  A double dose of complicated.

 _She’s sure been in there a while,_ he realized, glancing at the closed door.  He’d given Aqua some time.  That was all Mickey had said, right?

Decision made, he opened the door and traveled his memorized route through the few rooms back to the Chamber of Waking.

“Hey, Aqua, are you all-?  Flaming pants!”  The unusual curse leapt from his mouth at the sight.  Aqua lay on the floor, shrouded by a cloud of darkness.  He rushed to her side and summoned his keyblade.  For all the good that would do him without cards.  “Is this some kind of Heartless?”

It looked almost like a spread-out Possessor, only there were no Possessor Heartless in Castle Oblivion.  Besides, it had no face.  Just a regular cloud of darkness then.

Well, Lea wasn’t about to just stand there and let the girl marinate in it.  After dismissing his keyblade, he hauled her up over his shoulder and loped off to find Mickey and Riku.

XXX

Aqua bolted upright.  Something was wrong.  Of that, her heart was certain.  But what could possibly be wrong?  She was in bed, surrounded by the warmth of her comforter and illuminated by the pale light of the moon sneaking through her window.

 _It’s not white,_ she realized, staring at her navy comforter.  But of course it wasn’t.  Why should it be?  It had always been blue.  

 _It’s night, but suddenly I’m so awake…_ Why would that be?  What had woken her?  That unnaturally wrong feeling?  Whatever it was, it was gone now, but her mind still wouldn’t go back to sleep.

 _It’s… it’s the night before my Mark of Mastery Exam, isn’t it?_ Yes, that was it.  Of course she couldn’t sleep with that anticipation flowing through her.

Throwing off her blankets, she set off for a short walk through the castle.  Wandering the peaceful place at night always seemed to calm her.  Her nightgown felt loose and soft as it brushed her legs with each step.  It was good not to have that oppressive suit on for once.

 _Suit?_ She shook her head; her mind was leaving her.  It must be the stress.  Well, there was no reason to worry; she had prepared as well as she could. All the library’s records of past Masters’ Exams were crammed into her head, not to mention many more spells than she’d thought she could memorize.  She and Terra - and even Ven, though he wouldn’t be taking the Exam - had sparred as many times as they could fit in the past month.  She was ready - they both were.

Smiling to herself, she let her feet lead her towards the castle’s front doors.  Some fresh night air would do her well, and the stars had looked so clear tonight from her window.

As she approached the large doors, however, footsteps and a voice stopped her.

“Aqua, just where do you think you are going?”

She clapped a hand over her heart and spun, knowing who spoke before she saw him.  “Master!  You startled me.  I was just going for a walk.  I know it’s late, but I needed to clear my mind before the Exam tomorrow.”

Her Master’s dark eyes glinted coldly.  His arms uncrossed, hand stretching to his side to summon his familiar E-shaped blade.  “That won’t be necessary.”

“What- Master!  What’s going on?”  Did they have to postpone the Exam?  Was something threatening the Land of Departure?  Why else would Master Eraqus be awake and armed?

“I believe you know exactly what is going on, Aqua.”  He held Master Keeper straight ahead, so that the blade divided her view of him in half.  “Or should I say… _traitor.”_

Aqua gasped, taking a step back.  “Master!  Are you sleepwalking?  You must be having a nightmare!”

“The only nightmare I see here is you.  And to think I considered you a daughter…” A tear ran down his face.  

It was all the warning he gave before lunging into action.

“Master Eraqus!”  She leapt back, reluctantly summoning her own blade.  Rainfell.  But that weapon - she didn’t have it anymore.  The one she wielded was in her Master’s hands, bent on her destruction.  “Please!  Wake up!”

“Look at yourself!”  He snapped.  “You have given into the darkness, Aqua!  And it is my duty - and my curse - to put an end to you!”

Her eyes widened; her mouth froze mid-protest.  She barely threw up a Barrier in time to repulse his attack.

 _Look at myself?_ She didn’t have to look; she felt it before she saw it.  The suffocating tightness.  The ribbed texture of veins.  Still, she glanced down.

Her nightgown had disappeared - replacing it stretched all-too-familiar blue and magenta veins.  Her dark suit.  

“I - I’m not-”

“Not darkness?”  Eraqus scoffed - since when could her Master sound so cruel? - and rushed forward in an aura of light.  Her blade caught his, driving him back, buying her another few seconds of life.  “No words will fool me, Aqua.  I have seen what you’ve done.”

“What I’ve-?”  She gasped and cast another barrier, blocking another barrage of blows.  Despite it all, she couldn’t bring herself to strike back, though a part of her itched to.  To lash out.  To release…

 _The darkness inside me._ The realization made her falter; her stance slipped.

At that moment her Master, her father, struck.  That iron blade - the blade she bore, in a life she didn’t remember - pierced her chest.

“Do not pretend with me,” Eraqus whispered, his eyes barely showing a flash a pity.  “You have unleashed a monster.  The boy you call Vanitas.  You joined with him…

“And you both destroyed Terra and Ventus.”

_Vanitas?  I don’t know a…_

_Van!  No!  He would never do that!  Not anymore…_

Doubts sang her into oblivion.

XXX

“What did you do to her?”  Riku demanded as Lea swept the dishes off the kitchen table.  As the sound of shattering ceramics filled the room, he laid her down as gently as he could.

“Nothing.  Sheesh, have a little faith in me,” Lea replied, but his heart wasn’t in the retort.  Worry paled his face.  “I found her on the ground, surrounded by some dark cloud.  I don’t know what happened.  I swear, we leave her alone for one minute…”

“Don’t talk about her like that.  She’s a Keyblade Master,” Riku defended her calmly as he rummaged through his cards for a Potion.  If only Lea could get his old deck back, maybe he’d be of some use too.  Right now he felt about as useful as Demyx.

“And so are you, right?  So do something!”  Fire flared up around his arms.  Riku found time to shoot him a glare that said, _what does it look like I’m doing?_ before the Potion materialized.  He tilted back Aqua’s head and dribbled the green liquid down her throat.

“Since when do you care about her so much?”  Riku asked, digging around for a Cure card once he realized the Potion hadn’t done much.  Lea blinked in surprise at the question.

“Since I’ve got a heart to care with?  What, do you think I’m just gonna sit around and let a girl go off and die on me?”

“That’s not what I meant.”  Riku shook his head as he checked Aqua’s pulse and breathing.  Her eyelids were twitching, so that hardly seemed necessary.  She was obviously alive, but the question was, how long would she stay that way?  And would she be the same afterwards?

 _Aqua, if you turn into a Heartless…_ He remembered watching that horrifying transformation happen to a different blue-haired friend.  He wished he didn’t have that memorized.

“Then maybe you should say what you mean,” he snapped.

“No time.  We need to get the King.  This much darkness is going to take more than a Potion to fix.”

“You go, then.  I’ll keep an eye on her.”

Riku raised an eyebrow, but he didn’t argue.  He took off into the hallway, leaving Lea with a shuddering unconscious girl.

 _He thinks I have a crush on her, doesn’t he?  Probably did overhear me asking her on a date…_ Well, she was certainly nice to look at, even with the haunted look that darkened her face so much of the time.  And she was nicer to him than the others were.  No baggage of knowing him as Axel.  Maybe there could have been something between them, eventually.  But that wasn’t why he cared.

Lying there helplessly… she reminded him of Roxas, all those times he’d fallen unconscious, and nothing had been able to wake him.  Not knowing if he ever _would_ awaken.

“Hold on, Aqua.”  He squeezed her hand, which felt cold even through his gloves.  “You’re gonna wake up.  That Vanitas guy is counting on you.”

At that thought, he let go of her hand.  

“And whoever he is, I bet he’ll kill me if I let you go off and die…”

XXX

“Aww, Ven, you’re too sweet,” Aqua laughed and ruffled her friend’s hair, only to pause with her hand still squishing his honey-brown spikes.  What had he said? Why had she been laughing?

He grinned and laughed back before plopping down on the grassy hill.  Where was she?  She hadn’t seen grass in ages.  Right?

“Nngh…” Pain flashed through her head like fireworks. Something… something was wrong.  These innocent blue skies, dotted with puffy clouds… the warm summer breeze ruffling her hair…. It was all so, so _bright_ suddenly…

“Aqua?”  Ven asked, head tilted adorably.  “You okay?”

“I’m… fine, Ven.”  She squeezed her eyes shut for a long moment, then blinked them open.  “We were going to look at the clouds, weren’t we?”   _We were?_

“Yeah! You always find the best pictures in them!”

Gingerly, as if the grass would stretch up and eat her, she sat down.  It took far longer than it should have to convince her body to lie back, that there was nothing to fear from this perfect summer day.  Her muscles remained tense; her skin was mottled with goosebumps in spite of the heat.

 _Maybe I’m sick?_ She wondered as a shiver took her.

“Look, Aqua!  That one looks like a spaceship!”  He pointed at a fluffy cloud that was flat on bottom and rounded on top.

“I don’t think spaceships look like that,” she said without thinking.  “I think they’re more spherical.”

“Huh?”

“...Nevermind,” she forced a smile.  Where had that come from?  It wasn’t like she’d ever seen a spaceship before.  And it was rude to correct someone like that, anyway.

“Well what do you see?” Ven asked eagerly.

The clouds drifted overhead like carefree cotton balls.  She squinted at them suspiciously.  “All I see are clouds, Ven.”

“Aww, come on Aqua!  You’re not even trying!”

She sighed, fighting back… annoyance?  But why would she be annoyed with Ven?  He was one of her best friends.  She was just so on edge, all because… why? Because the sun was a little bright today?  She should have welcomed a sun so bright, after so long…

The thought drifted away on the breeze, like another cloud she couldn’t pin down.  Shielding the glare from her eyes with one hand, she looked up again.  This time, she _did_ see something.  Not a shape, however - black-grey clouds, crackling with blue lightning.

A storm.

“Ven!”  Aqua leapt to her feet.  “Get inside, now!”

“No!”  He rose and summoned his keyblade.  Knees bent, blade held in his familiar backhanded grip, he stared down the approaching storm as if it were an Unversed he could fight.

_Unversed?  What’s that?_

“Ven, you’ll get hurt.  I can’t let that happen again.”   _Again?_ “Agh-!”  Pain pain flashing like the lightning, like she’d been struck but inside her head-

_Ven falling from the sky, crashing towards her-_

_Ven frozen in a chunk of ice, seething with rage-_

_Ven with eyes that burned gold-_

“I’m not a kid, Aqua!  I’m as strong as you!”  He yelled over the roar of the approaching storm.

“That isn’t what I meant!” She protested.  “You _are_ strong, but-“

“But what?”  He sneered.  The shadow of the clouds loomed closer.  “But I’m still just a kid? But I’m not like Terra or Van?  You’d let _them_ fight with you!”

For a moment everything froze.  The wind, the sound, the sneer still on her friend’s lips.  “Van… who is Van?”

“Don’t play dumb, Aqua.”  His voice grew cold. Cold as the air swirling over their hill, setting the grass in motion like a thousand tiny, groping tentacles.  “I know you love him more than me.  More than us.”

“Ven… I don’t know what you’re talking about.”  But she did.  Almost.  Maybe.  A face framed by spikes of black hair danced at the edge of her memory.

The black clouds completely covered them now.  The only light came in blue flashes, sporadically casting sharp shadows across Ven’s face.

“Fine, be that way.” He snorted, though she couldn’t hear it over the howling cyclone surrounding them.  “I can still show you I’m stronger!”

He leapt at her, swinging his blade in a wide arc from overhead.  With no time to summon Rainfell, Aqua cartwheeled away - and was blown sideways by a malevolent burst of wind.  The grass reached up to strangle her wrists and ankles, pinning her to the ground.

“Ven, what’s gotten into you!  This isn’t who you are!”  She shouted, but the wind carried her voice away.

“Do you even know who I am?”  He hissed, looming over her sprawled, struggling form.  “Or did you always just think I was the broken little boy.  The one you saw come to this world five years ago.”

She gasped.  He knew?  He remembered?

He laughed - a cackle that would have been more fitting coming from a demon.  With the blue lightning framing him, and the dark wind swirling around as if obeying his command, maybe he was.  A demon wearing her friend’s skin.

_Ven, with a sword made of two keys in his hand-_

“Of course I know,” Ven knelt beside her.  “I know that you and Terra lied to me.  Pretended that you knew me.  Pretend we had always been _friends.”_ At the snarled word, he stabbed his winglike keyblade into the ground beside her head.  She flinched back, and he laughed.

“Ven… Ventus… what’s happened to you?” Her voice trembled.

He took a deep breath, and the storm itself seemed to fill him.  “I’ve grown up, Aqua.  

“And I’ve outgrown my need for you.”

With one swift tug, he removed his blade from the ground, and he buried it deep in her chest.

XXX

Riku, Mickey, and Lea all recoiled from the bloodcurdling scream that escaped Aqua’s lips.  Her fingers clawed at the sheets of her bed - Lea had moved her to somewhere safer than the kitchen table - and she nearly kicked Mickey in the face.

“It’s no use,” the mouse King said.  The magical glow faded from his hands as he backed away.  “My spells can’t cast out this darkness.”

“Why not?”  Lea demanded.  “What’s wrong with her?”

“It’s her _own_ darkness,” Mickey explained.  “It feels, well, almost like when somebody becomes a Heartless.  Her heart’s too strong for it to go that far, I think, but it’s attacking her somehow.”

“What the heck? That doesn’t make any sense!”

“It does, actually,” Riku murmured, almost to himself.  Lea restrained his frustration enough to listen.  “Even after Ansem was gone from me, his darkness had made mine… restless.  It did things like this a few times.  It’s why I wore the blindfold…”

He shifted uncomfortably, trying to let his hair fall into his face.  His shorter haircut made that impossible, but Lea still got the same trying-to-hide vibe from the younger man that he used to from Isa.

 _Isa…_ Lea didn’t want to think about his old friend right now.  He was too late to save him.  Better to focus on the ones still alive.

“So how’d you get rid of it?”  Lea asked, trying to keep his voice civil.  Though he and Riku bickered often enough - well, at least Lea would _try_ to get a rise out of him - he had a lot of respect for the Keyblade Master who had risen out of the darkness.  Not that he would ever admit that out loud.

Realizing his hair wasn’t enough of a cover, Riku looked away.  “...DiZ’s device exploded.  I still don’t know why that brought me back to normal.”

“...And I don’t suppose we have another one of those things lying around that we could blow up, do we?”  Lea asked.

Mickey shook his head sadly.  “I’m afraid not.”

“Figures…” Lea sighed and crossed his arms.  Aqua’s scream still echoed in his ears, though now she was lying a little more peacefully.  That’s how it had been before, a few moments of rest, then she would start flailing around like she either wanted to kill something or was getting killed.  And then the screams.

Though he knew it wouldn’t do much, he cast another Cure spell on her.  She hissed as if the green glow were poison.

“That won’t help,” Riku told him, making him want to punch something.

“I know that, okay!  But what am I supposed to do, stand here and do nothing?” He clenched his fists and pictured the white wall with a new hole in it.  Stupid heart, making him all emotional like this.  He was never going to be able to convince Riku he didn’t have a crush on her at this rate.

_I just hate feeling so… so powerless…_

Like when Isa fell, turned into a Heartless right before his eyes.  Like when Roxas walked away, damning himself to destruction.  Like when… that girl...

 _Something about… who…?_ He didn’t know where the memory - or delusion, more likely - of a young girl came from.  It quickly vanished, leaving him only more irritated and confused.

“There is something we can do, I think,” Mickey spoke up.  His white-gloved fingers were clasped together anxiously.  “If Riku’s willing, that is.”

“Willing to do what?”  He looked up.  

“Well, you’ve got the power to awaken sleeping hearts now, don’tcha?  Her heart’s dreaming in there, but right now, it’s all nightmares ‘cause of the darkness.”

Lea clutched his forehead.  None of that sleeping stuff made _any flaming sense._ He remembered all this talk from when they saved Sora last time, and it was just as confusing now as it was then.  Why couldn’t he just hit something and make it go away?  

“You think that’ll work?”  Riku asked hopefully.  Heh, Lea wasn’t the only one who was concerned.  He was sure the silver-haired boy was a big softie under all his aloof emo master-ness.

“...I can’t say for sure,” Mickey admitted.  “If it does, it’ll be real dangerous.”

“But it’s all we’ve got, isn’t it?”  Lea asked, uncrossing his arms to rest his hands on his hips.  Aqua was murmuring and starting to toss again.

“I’ll do it.”  Riku didn’t even hesitate.  His aqua eyes flashed with determination.

“Heh, now I get why you were making fun of me.   _You_ like-”

“Shut up, Lea,” he deadpanned.  Right.  They didn’t have time for banter, but it would’ve been nice to lighten the mood just a little bit.  All this was so much harder with a heart… even if it turned out he’d been growing one or whatever before, everything felt more vivid now.  

“Mickey, tell me what I need to do.”

XXX

“You’re- you’re not Terra,” Aqua whispered in horror, backing against a shop’s wall.  Who was this silver-haired imitation glaring as he approached her?

“Oh, but I am.”  He smiled, if it could be called a smile.  It was the leer of a predator.  He slowly drew closer.  Where were the citizens of Radiant Garden?  All was silent, empty, except for this man.  And she had the awful feeling that he was empty, too.  “Or rather, I am Terra as he was always meant to be.”

She didn’t want to listen to him, but there were no other sounds.  No birds, no wind.  She couldn’t even hear herself breathing.  Maybe because she wasn’t.

“Look at me, Aqua,” he growled when her eyes darted for an escape.  “I thought you wanted to find me.”

“Not _you_ , you monster,” she hissed.  “Tell me what you’ve done with Terra!”

He chuckled darkly and sauntered toward her.   _“_ Wouldn’t you like to know?”

This monster wasn’t him.  She knew that with all her heart - because she’d fought him before.  She’d made the mistake of going easy on him once, and it had doomed the worlds.  This time, she fought to win.

She straightened and held out her arm to summon her blade.  But where it should’ve been, her hand tightened around empty air.

“What-?”  Panic gripped her.  Her keyblade had never done this before; why wouldn’t it come?

Not-Terra grinned.  “Tell me, who is worthy of the Mark now, _Master_ Aqua?”

She gritted her teeth against the barb.  She’d listened to the taunts before, those other times she didn’t remember.  And she had died.  Not this time.

“ _Fire!”_ She shouted, and a Fission Firaga exploded from her outstretched palms.

That was something even Not-Terra hadn’t predicted.  He flew back and crashed against one of Radiant Garden’s walls, which in a stroke of luck crumbled on top of him.   _Sorry about that, Restoration Committee,_ the brief lucid thought flashed through her mind before the present took over.

She stood from a safe distance, squinting as the dust cleared.  A leg protruded from the rubble, but that was all she could see of him.

“A… Aqua…” A soft, broken voice.  Her breath hitched.  Had she shaken the darkness that had hold over him?  Had she freed the real Terra?

She took half a step forward before reason took over.  It was a ploy, it had to be.  There was no way this monster would be defeated so easily.  After all, it hadn’t been before.

 _Before…_ Those memories, or fantasies, mingled with the here and now.  They couldn’t both have happened, could they? Was she seeing the future, the past, or neither?

She cried out in pain triggered by the confusing thoughts.  Those explosions in her head.  Blue lightning.  Storms and darkness.  Two different blades, two different deaths.  Her chest screamed with remembered agony.

“Not… _again!”_ With a shout, she cast an Aeroga strong enough to blast the debris away.  It had the secondary effect of tossing Not-Terra back a few yards.

“A-Aqua!  What’s gotten into you?”

“Don’t play games with me, _Xehanort,”_ she remembered his name.  “You will not hold my friend any longer!  I’m strong enough to do what I couldn’t before!”

“Do what-?” He braced a hand against the ground and tried to sit up, but faked falling back.  “Please, you have to help me…”

“I helped you one time too many,” she murmured.  Suddenly her keyblade - Master Keeper - flashed to her hand.  Whatever force had held it back had released her.  “And the worlds suffered for it.”

“That- that wasn’t me… I wasn’t…”

She strode forward, keyblade outstretched.  Her Master’s stance.  The Master that this monster had killed.

 _I can do it this time,_ she repeated to herself.   _I can… put an end to him._

His eyes were closed.  He still lay on his back, helpless.  Or pretending to be.  He would expect her to hesitate, to try to talk to her oldest friend.  She would do neither of these things.

“Aqua-”

She plunged the teeth of Master Keeper into his heart.  At the last second, with his last gasp of breath, he opened his eyes.

They were blue.  And that was when she knew he had been telling the truth.

“You… monster…” his last words hissed out, before his body evaporated into a cloud of lights.

Aqua gaped, knelt, tried to catch even one last speck of her friend.  Each mote of light slipped through her fingers. Like the tears slipping from her face, soaking the ground where he had once lain.

She had… what had she done…?

“Terra… you’re right…”

XXX

“Alright.” Riku took a deep breath.  Mickey had given him what instructions he could; he was ready.  As ready as he ever would be, at least.  Diving into Sora’s heart was one thing; they were best friends.  But he still barely knew Aqua.  She had kept herself aloof, for all of her obvious pain.  Riku had tried to give her time to adjust, but clearly that hadn’t been enough.

_I knew what she was going through.  I should have tried harder to help her…_

The thought haunted him as he took her hand.  It was all up to his heart now.  He could only hope that it was strong enough to survive this journey twice.

“Yo, you gonna do your Key-Master thing or not?” Lea finally called.  “Or you just wanna stand there and hold her hand?”

Riku shot him a glare, but didn’t bother with a retort.  Any other day of the week he’d exchange insults with the redhead - it was a kind of game they had - but not now.

He concentrated, closed his eyes, and disappeared.

XXX

She remembered this time.  More than before.  Three deaths.  Hers.  His.  How could she have forgotten?  Why should she remember?  Why should she be reborn again and again, just to suffer another agony?

And how many more were yet to come?

She shivered under the black sky of the Realm of Darkness.  Her dark suit covered her from neck to toe, but this time it didn’t keep out the cold.  She felt naked, standing there among the looming monoliths.  Rocks scarred with blue, like the lightning from two nightmares ago.  

“I’m not so sure I like the color blue anymore,” she murmured.  At her words, she saw a ripple of rainbow light at the edge of her vision.  A few strands of hair that had been hanging in front of her eyes had shifted - blue became black.  

“That’s not what I…” She sighed.  What did it matter what she looked like in the middle of a nightmare?

“Could that be all this is?” She hoped.  “A nightmare from this twisted Realm…?”

It all felt so _real._ The cold chilling her to the bone.  The smell of death and decay.  The rock she huddled against, trying to shelter from the nonexistent wind.

“Or maybe I accidentally used a card in Castle Oblivion…?”  She wasn’t sure how she would have done that, but the rooms there felt real, despite being illusions.

“Nice guess,” a new voice appeared from the shadows.

“Van!”  She called as his face appeared, followed by the rest of him, slinking out from behind a darker rock.  “You… no.  Stay back.”

“What?”  He scowled, placing a hand over his heart as if hurt.  “I thought we were friends.”

“I’ve seen a lot of friends try to hurt me lately,” she mumbled.  “And I’ve… I’ve hurt them too…”

He snorted.  “I’d like to see you try to hurt me.”

“I did before,” she said, still shivering.  She hugged her knees tight, and her skirt flared out, a bright swath of magenta against the grey ground.

“But you wouldn’t now.”

The way he said it, so obviously, so trusting, made her smile.  Made her forget.  “No.  I wouldn’t.”

He took that as an invitation to sit down beside her.  Then, maybe because he could tell she was cold, he wrapped his arms around her shoulders.  She leaned into his embrace without thinking; he was so _warm._

“Thank you…” she mumbled.

“Heh.  Don’t thank me.”  As he spoke, he grew even warmer, if that were possible.  Yet somehow, it was like none of that heat really sunk in.  She could feel it on her skin, but deep down, in her blood, she was still freezing.  “I should be thanking you.”

“What for?”  She asked, eyebrows drawn together.  His usual smirk grew.

“For giving me your light, obviously.”

She didn’t think it could, but her blood ran even colder.  “My- _what?”_

He held her tighter.  His touch burned, like he was made of fire.  “Your light, idiot.  Why else do you think I’d keep you around?”

Something in her, something she thought had been shattered too many times to break, turned to dust.  “You… you’ve been taking it all this time…”

He chuckled darkly.  “Took you long enough.” His hand caressed her face gently, but her skin erupted in pain at the contact.  When she gasped and tried to pull free, he gripped her chin.  “No backing out now, sweetheart.”

“No…” Tears gathered in her eyes before spilling over.  She was surprised they could flow without turning to ice.  “Van… not you too…”

“Come on, Aqua, don’t tell me you’re surprised.” He scowled.  “And quit calling me that.  My name’s Vanitas.”

He still hadn’t let go.  Fire and ice were consuming her, the heat being drawn from her veins into his skin.  She struggled and tried to summon Master Keeper, but again it wouldn’t come.  She should have been stronger than him, but his grip didn’t budge.  Panic flowed with the ice in her veins.

“What’s wrong?  I thought this was what you wanted.  To be with me again.”

He almost sounded sincere, if not for the gleeful gleam in his golden eyes.  They seemed to glow with the light that he sucked from her.  

“Y-you…” Her teeth chattered.  “You d-don’t care what I want…”

“Ouch.  Of course I care.  I’ve got light now, remember?  Isn’t that supposed to make me good?”

His words were spinning her in circles.  It didn’t matter, anyway.  She was going numb, inside and out.  Her heartbeat had slowed to a crawl.  The searing heat on her skin was a stark counterpoint to her empty inside.

She opened her mouth to beg, though her pride screamed against it and her mind protested that it wouldn’t do any good.  This Vanitas was not her friend, just like the Master hadn’t been, and Ven hadn’t been, and Terra…

She squeezed her eyes shut, words dying on cracked lips.  This would be a fourth death, the third for her.  The pain was unbearable, but her heartbreak rivaled it.  Why struggle?  Dying a third time, or a thousand times, would be worth it to take her away from this nightmare.

“Do it, then,” she gasped out.  “Take it.  Kill me.”

Vanitas’s grip slackened.  “What?”

She met his eyes.  They were definitely glowing now.  Burning with the light she’d poured into him.  

“Kill me,” she repeated, trying to keep her voice strong in spite of her crystallizing lungs.  Even if she died, she expected that another nightmare would replace this one.  She didn’t care.  Her broken mind had to be running out of ideas; what could it show her that would be worse than what she’d already seen?

Vanitas recovered from his surprise and smirked.  “Your wish is my command.”

His hand blazed against her face; what remained of her warmth spiraled away.

_“Aqua!”_

Ice crystallized around her legs; they went dead as if they’d been severed.

_“Master Aqua! Don’t give up!”_

That voice.  She barely registered it; she was fading out of consciousness.  More pieces of her slipped away as ice claimed her.

_“If you die again-!”_

“Shut up,” Vanitas muttered upwards.  Could he hear the voice too?  “It’s too late.  Give her these last moments in peace.”

_“Let her go, Sora!”_

“Sora…?” Aqua murmured.  Frost crept over her middle; the voice had distracted Vanitas enough to slow the transfer of light. “I met a Sora, once… he looked a lot like you…”

“Both of you shut up!”  Vanitas spat.

 _Sora…_ yes, she knew him, didn’t she?  A little boy.  But there was another boy, too… “Riku?”

_“Yeah, it’s me.  Hold on, I’m going to get you out of here.”_

_Hold on?_ How could she hold on?  Half of her body was gone, consumed by ice.  The other half burned as if she were being held at the center of a Fission Firaga.

“Like hell you are,” Vanitas growled.  His nails dug into her face through his suit; the fire erupted at each point.  Ice surged up to her neck.  Her lungs were frozen for good now; she couldn’t have spoken even if she’d been able to find the words.

“ _No-!”_

 _It’s okay,_ she wished she could tell the voice.   _Let me die.  It’s easier this way._

In spite of the thought, she wished she had the power to scream as ice consumed her face, cut off her view of Vanitas’s flaming gold eyes.  Even when she had been his enemy before, they had never been so frightening.

_It’s easier this way…_

XXX

_“She’s giving up, Mickey.  Hold on.  I’m having to dive in deeper.”_

Lea shivered at how Riku’s disembodied voice floated around them.  He was almost glad Xehanort had cut off their communication during the Mark of Mastery Exam.  It was downright creepy this way.

Mickey’s brow furrowed. “You can’t go much deeper, Riku.  This may be your last chance.”

Lea’s grip tightened on the footboard of Aqua’s bed.  “Man, I _hate_ this. You sure I can’t go in too?”

Mickey nodded.  “We could only go in the World That Never Was because it was only half asleep.  Aqua’s heart right now’s all the way asleep.”

“What is it will all my friends and passing out like this…?”

Mickey patted his elbow, as if that would be comforting.  “Riku can do it, Lea.  Yen Sid made him a Master for a reason.”

“Yeah, well, Aqua’s supposed to be a Master too, isn’t she?”

“Well…” Mickey frowned.  “Aqua’s been through a lot.  I don’t know for sure what all happened to her in the Realm of Darkness, but… she’s not the same.  Gosh, I was there for a couple weeks, but she was there for years.  I can’t blame her.”

“Huh.”   _Wonder if it’s worse than losing your heart._ Not that he should compare tragic backstories, but that might give him a clue to what was going on with her.

 _Why_ do _I care so much?_ He wondered, remembering Riku’s question.  If it wasn’t because he liked her, then why?  It wasn’t like he knew her that well.  He didn’t know if she would even consider him a friend.

_Is this just what it means to have a heart?_

He thought about Sora.  He’d jumped into the dream to save him, but that was different.  He was Roxas’s Somebody; Lea needed him.  What if it had been Riku?  Or even Mickey?  Would he have been ready to risk his new life to rescue them?

He didn’t know.  But… he might have.  If he saw them suffering like this.

For the first time since recovering his heart, Lea realized that he might not be so awful after all.

XXX

 _Just… a little farther…._ Riku pressed his arms to his sides and kept his body straight, streamlined.  The wind whipped at him as he fell, and he was glad not for the first time that he’d cut his hair.  He needed his sight now.  The pinprick of light he fell towards was growing smaller and smaller, being extinguished by the enclosing darkness.

_Come on…_

He wasn’t afraid of the darkness.  Not anymore.  That’s what he thought, anyway, but he hadn’t felt it this close since Ansem had still lurked in his heart.  Whatever the Realm of Darkness had done to Aqua was bad news.

 _I wish Sora were here…_ Why hadn’t he passed his Exam?  Then they could have been working to save Aqua and her friends together.  His light would’ve been able to reach Aqua’s heart, Riku was sure of it.

But Sora wasn’t here.  All Aqua had was him.

And that was just going to have to be good enough.

XXX

“What… where am I now?”  Aqua asked before stumbling to her knees.  The pain hadn’t completely faded after her last death; she winced at what felt like thousands of tiny needles stabbing her legs.  Her insides were still cold and empty, and her face still burned where she remembered Vanitas’s touch.  Before she’d only felt echoes of her past deaths - and past guilt - but now… had that last nightmare been more real somehow?

Or were they all real?  Had the darkness killed her, and this was what real hell was?  She had imagined the Realm of Darkness as hell, but she had survived it.  Maybe whatever deity was out there felt that would be too good for her.

She fought through the pain to stand again and look around.  Only there wasn’t much to look at.  She stood on a polished pane of glass; it almost felt familiar.  Had this been where she’d had her Awakening, all those years ago, and first accessed the power to wield the keyblade?  

If it was, then something was wrong.  The circular pillar was completely blank.  The glass was a dark, cloudy black that shadowed her reflection.  Had she ever changed her hair back to blue?  She couldn’t tell in the dark mirror.  At least her eyes weren’t gold; she could make out that much.

Or, well, they _weren’t…_ until they were.  She gasped and leapt back, but to her surprise her reflection didn’t follow.  Instead it stretched out and peeled up from the black glass.

“It’s just another nightmare,” Aqua tried to tell herself.  “It’s… just…”

Her reflection rose until it could stand upright.  There was nowhere to run, nowhere to hide, and nowhere else to look.  So Aqua watched as its flesh filled in, rippling and widening into a three-dimensional form.  Like her, it was clad in a dark suit.  Unlike her - she hoped - the copy had golden eyes and black hair.  It twisted her lips into a chilling grin that Aqua hadn’t thought her face capable of possessing.

Aqua summoned her keyblade - Stormfall this time - and was surprised that it actually worked.  Her reflection just chuckled.

“You’re always so quick to fight.  Why can’t we have a civil conversation?”

Aqua frowned, caught off guard.  “You’re not real.  You’re just a trick of my mind.”

The copy paced in front of her, hands clasped behind her back. “You have part of it right. I am a part of our mind.  But that doesn’t mean I’m not real.”

Aqua’s head pounded; how many people would try to taunt her?  The Master, Ven, Terra, Vanitas, and now _herself?_ “I’m tired of these mind games!”

Her reflection shrugged, still pacing circles around her.  Aqua hated how she had to keep shifting to keep her in her sights.  “You can’t stop them.  Not as long as you have a mind to play with.”

“Why is this all happening?”  She demanded, even though she didn’t expect a straight answer.  No one else had given her one.

“Because you’re falling apart, Aqua.”  It was strange to hear her own voice calling her by name.  “Look around.  The darkness is eating away at your heart.”

She didn’t want to take her eyes off of the copy - for all she knew, it was a trick - but she saw the movement from the corner of her eye.  The edges of the circular platform, beginning to crumble away, like charcoal to ash.

“You mean, this is… my heart?”  Aqua placed her hand over her chest, where her heart should be.  Then she shook her head.  “No.  I’ve been fighting the darkness!”

“No, the darkness has been fighting _you.”_ The copy stopped in front of her.  

“But the Dark Wind is gone!”  She protested.  “Van freed me!”

“From the Wind, yes.”  Her reflection smiled.  “From yourself… not so much.”  She summoned a keyblade that resembled Stormfall, if it had absorbed all the shadows around them.  The inky black shade looked wrong on her beloved weapon.

“Get out of my heart!”  Aqua shouted, swiping the real Stormfall to the side and assuming her battle stance.  

The other her scoffed.  “You can’t get rid of me any more than you can get rid of yourself.   _Our_ self.”  She stepped in closer, and Aqua held Stormfall between them.  

“What are you?”  She found herself asking, though she feared she knew the answer.  The question made her black-haired reflection smile.

“I am you.”  She mimicked Aqua’s pose, as if to prove her point.  “The parts of you that you’ve been holding back.  Your fear, your anger, your guilt… it’s time you released it.  Release _me._ ”

“I will _not.”_ Aqua readied a spell from her command deck; her blade began to hum with its energy.  “I will defeat you, and release myself!”

She let the spell loose - a Mega Flare that blinded her in the darkness.  The heat seared her through her suit, bringing back echoes of Vanitas’s acidic touch.  She shivered and blinked back the spots from her eyes.

As she did, the copy leapt from the flames, readying a spell of her own.  Aqua hastily threw up a barrier that sent the Thundaga Shot ricocheting into the void.  She wasn’t as lucky with the next attack - the reflection fired off a shotlock that shattered her magical shield.  She flew backwards with the recoil, but her mirror image wasn’t done.  Dark comets honed in on her, dozens of them diving into her chest and back.

Aqua cried out at the dark orbs didn’t disappear, but seemed to sink into her, gnawing at her heart.  How was the nightmare doing this? How was she so _strong?_

She cast Curaga and climbed to her feet, then threw herself to the glassy floor again as a Triple Blizzaga went hurtling over her head.   _She’s using all my spells against me,_ Aqua realized.  Even that dark shotlock, she processed, had been a version of her Lightbloom.   _How am I supposed to fight someone who’s just as strong as I am?_

But if the reflection was just as strong as her, then the reverse had to be true as well - she was as strong as this copy.

She sprung up and immediately cartwheeled to the side, dodging the flurry of spells that were targeting her.  The copy didn’t let up for a moment.  If Aqua was going to win, she had to get on the offensive.

Mega Flare wasn’t going to work; it left her too vulnerable.  She mentally scrolled through her commands and whipped up an Ice Barrage.  With Stormfall pointed at the ground beneath her copy’s feet, she fired.

Ice sprouted from the ground and propelled the copy into the air.  A solid hit, but not one that would last.  She righted herself in midair and floated down as gently as if cushioned by a breeze.

“You’ll have to try harder than that,” she taunted.  “Or is this the best you can do?”

Ignoring the attempt at distraction, Aqua fired off a Triple Blizzaga of her own, but the copy threw up a barrier with time to spare.

“I’m disappointed in you,” she frowned.  It was the same look Aqua would give Ven when she found out he’d snuck an extra cookie before dinner.  “I thought your light would put up more of a fight than this.”

“Shut up!”  Aqua shouted, running to close the distance between them.  Her reflection leapt back, towards the edge that was crumbling to ash.

“Why?  Does the truth hurt?”  The copy continued.  “I’m your darkness.  So if I’m stronger… then you’ve already lost.”

Roaring, Aqua jumped and brought her keyblade down from above.  With a smirk, the reflection cartwheeled to the side.  Aqua’s eyes widened as she realized too late what she’d done - the copy’s quick movement accelerated the platform’s disintegration.  Where she had planned to drive her blade into the dark version of herself, there was only nothingness.

She barely had time to curse - which only made the reflection laugh - before she was falling into the abyss.  

How long of a drop would it be? Would she keep falling forever?  Would this nightmare ever end?

She didn’t find out.  Miraculously, a rope of light shot down from above, pulling her towards it with some kind of magnetic force.   _Collision Magnet,_ she realized.  But why would her reflection use that?  Aqua had already lost.

Then she was yanked up, back over the crumbling edge, onto the platform.  She skidded across it as the force released her.

“Get out!  This is between her and me!”  Her reflection was shouting.  Aqua blinked, pushing herself up with her arms.  Was that…

“Riku!”  She shouted, seeing his blade locked against her reflection’s.

“Aqua, you have to fight this!  I can hold the nightmares off, but this is your heart!”  He grunted as the dark copy swept him back.  “You’re the only one who can stop it!”

“What do I do?”  She asked, still kneeling, but gripping her keyblade with renewed determination.  She wasn’t alone.  She didn’t know how, or why, but she wasn’t alone.  A deep breath filled her lungs, clearing her mind and driving back the pain.

“Find your light,” Riku said before ironically sliding into the darkness.  Not falling from the platform, but becoming one with shadow to dodge her reflection’s strike.  “There’s more to you than the darkness.  You have to remember who you are.”

“I am who she is,” Dark Aqua said with her hand over her heart.  That motion was so like herself that Aqua cringed.  “We abandoned our friends.  We were too weak to save them.  Too weak to save ourself.”

It wasn’t true.  Aqua had tried to save them, she was _still_ trying to save them.  Only… she had given up, there in Castle Oblivion…

“That’s right!”  Her reflection called, as if reading Aqua’s thoughts.  Maybe she was.  “Van is dead!  We were too late!”

And Aqua remembered.  Remembered Drizzle fading, taking with him the last of her hopes.  The darkness closing in, promising her rest from the pain of believing.  The promise of blissful emptiness.

“Maybe… maybe it would be better just to give up…” she found herself whispering.

“What?”  Riku shouted.  His distraction opened a window for the Dark Aqua to strike, catching him across the chest with the blunt shaft of her blade.  He managed to land on his feet, but he was winded.  His Dark Firaga was a little more than a distraction so he could call to Aqua.  “You don’t mean that!  Fight it, Master Aqua!”

 _Master Aqua._ What a joke.  How could she be a Master, with all of this darkness lurking in her heart?  When she wasn’t strong enough to destroy it?

She crawled away from the edge, which was crumbling ever closer.  If this truly was her heart, they didn’t have much time.  The battlefield grew smaller and smaller.  Riku stood between her and her reflection, casting up a dark barrier similar to her own reflective spell.

_Dark… what…?_

“Let her give up,” the reflection sneered.  “She’s worthless.  Just a shadow of what she used to be.”

“You know, I used to think like that,” Riku replied, then spun and caught the copy with Deep Freeze.  Ice encased her, reminding Aqua of the crystals that had devoured her in the last nightmare.  The memory paralyzed her as if it was happening all over again.  “Sometimes I still do.”

“You… do…?”  Aqua whispered.  He blasted the ice apart with another Dark Firaga.  There it was again - another dark spell.  And there he went on fighting, like it didn’t matter.  How did it not consume him?  “How…?”

“How do I fight it?”  Riku asked over his shoulder.  Dark Aqua was recovering, and he quickly had to return to exchanging blows, but he still found the energy to speak.  “I remember the people I care about.  The ones who made me who I am.”

“We have lost them all,” Dark Aqua hissed.  “Who are we without them?”

“You haven’t lost them all,” he said as his blade pulsed with darkness.  

_“I’m still here.”_

With that, he unleashed two powerful, sweeping strikes.  The first was charged with his dark aura, but the second - Aqua gasped.  The second burned with pure light.  It sliced cleanly through her reflection’s barrier, striking her to the ground.  “Now, Aqua!”

Aqua still hadn’t made her way to her feet.  She used her keyblade as a crutch and climbed up from her hands and knees, then staggered over to Riku’s side.  The pain of her previous deaths assaulted her, nearly sending her back to the ground, but he caught her with an arm under her shoulder.

“I… I can’t…” she hissed against the agony.  Her reflection chuckled from the ground.

“Still not strong enough, even with your friend.  Why are you still trying?”

Why… why was she?

 _Terra… and Ven…_ there was still a chance for them.  A small one, yes, but a chance… if she could do something, anything for them…

“They’re gone,” Dark Aqua said bluntly.  “You can’t even save yourself.  What makes you think you can save them?”

“That’s what I thought too,” Riku said.  “But she’s wrong.  We’ll find a way.”

Aqua wasn’t so sure.  She wasn’t sure of anything anymore.  What if this Riku wasn’t even real, was just some figment hope conjured by her dying mind?  Was this just two halves of herself putting up one last fight before the darkness consumed her once and for all?

She stood over her reflection, supported by Riku, Stormfall dangling limply from her arm.  “Riku, I… I mean it.  I can’t.  I’m too weak…”

She could feel his tension, the arguments he wanted to voice.  But he didn’t.

“Then forget it.  I’ll get us out.”  He pointed his blade skywards, and a beam of light cut through the void.  “Hold on tight.”

“I’ll still be here,”  Dark Aqua said with a laugh.  “You haven’t killed me because you _can’t_.  I’ll always be here!”

Aqua looked into those gold eyes, and couldn’t help feeling that she was right.

Riku held her tightly, and then gravity flipped.  Down was up, and up was down.  They were falling into the black sky.

The last thing she saw was her gold-eyed reflection melting back into the floor as it crumbled away.

XXX

Lea screamed like a girl when Riku appeared in sudden flash of light.  He tried to disguise it with a cough, but he soon realized it didn’t matter - Mickey and Riku were focused on more important things than his unmanly scream.

“How is she?”  Riku asked, standing over Aqua’s bedside.  Her chest rose and fell evenly; her muscles had finally relaxed.

“Shouldn’t you know better than us?”  Lea asked.  “She seems fine enough now.  Like she’s just sleeping.”

“Good… I wasn’t sure if it worked.”  Riku shook his head.  “We couldn’t defeat her darkness.  It was different from the time I dove into Sora’s heart.  I think I snapped her out of it for now, but I can’t promise it won’t happen again.”

“If it does, we’ll catch it sooner this time,” Mickey said.  “We can help her like Namine and I helped you.”

“I hope so…”

“How _did_ they help you?”  Lea asked.  “Besides making you blind, anyway.”

Riku’s face reddened.  Was that still a sore subject?  People with hearts were such a minefield.  “...Mickey always believed in me, even when I didn’t believe in myself.  And Namine gave me the courage to face the darkness.  She helped me realize that I could do it, and that I could be better because of it.”

“Wow.”  Lea nodded.  “Nice monologue.  You have that memorized?”

“What-!”  He snapped for a second, before regaining his calm.  “Go pick on someone who cares, Axel.”

“It’s _Lea!”_

Mickey just laughed.  “Come on, fellas.  Let’s let Aqua get her rest.”

Lea frowned at that.  “The last time we tried to do that, she got taken over by the darkness.  I say we keep a better eye on her this time.”

“Is that your way of volunteering?”  Riku asked.

“Actually, I thought we could both do it.”  He smiled.  He _had_ picked on Riku too much lately; maybe if they were alone together for long enough he could swallow his pride and apologize.  

“...Only if you promise not to be a complete moron,” the silver-haired boy replied.

“Hey, I’m _never_ a complete moron.  Only eighty percent at worst.”

That finally got Riku to laugh.  Good, he still looked pale as death after coming out of the dream.  Maybe he should be glad that he couldn’t do that job.

“Alright, I’ll bring ya some dinner,” Mickey said with a grin.  “You fellas be nice to each other.”

Lea grinned back until Mickey left, shutting the door behind him.  Then he sat on the floor next to Aqua’s bed.  “Sooo, you and Namine…?”

Riku blushed.

“Shut up.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Dies of exhaustion a little bit*
> 
> Sorry for all the random comments of Lea and Riku making fun of each other and/or teasing about shipping so much.  I really didn’t do it on purpose.  And Lea really doesn’t have a crush on Aqua, ftr, I’m not sure why that keeps coming up.  *sweatdrop*
> 
> If this was really trippy and didn’t make any sense, sorry about that too.  Canon doesn’t make enough sense to give me a good base to work off of, but I really wanted to use some Dream Drop Distance elements.  Overall I’m happy with how it turned out, but I haven’t played 3D in so long there might be some things I really screwed up.  Also, I wanted to have Dark Aqua be similar to whatever happens in 2.8, buuuuut I still haven’t played/watched 2.8 yet (trying to hold out on spoilers until I get a PS4), so I didn’t get to do that.  Dark Aqua is also not real, in case any of that was confusing; Aqua doesn’t have an alter ego actually trapped in her heart.  KH is confusing enough as it is.
> 
> Anyway!  Hope you enjoyed!  Also, I’d appreciate knowing which of the five dream sequences you liked best (or worst, if you want to drop me some concrit) and why if you’d like to leave a review!


	11. Faith

Waking up was like walking through a cloud.  Foggy, confusing, but soft at the same time.  The first thing she noticed was the blankets tucked around her, white and fluffy enough that the analogy seemed appropriate.  

The second thing she noticed as she yawned her way into consciousness was the bitter taste in her mouth, like she hadn’t brushed her teeth in ages.  Even in the Realm of Darkness, she had managed to scrub them with water-diluted potion dregs while on guard duty.  She rarely missed a day, and certainly hadn’t since returning to the Realm of Light.  How long had she been asleep?

“Riku!”  Lea elbowed him - what were they both doing sitting next to her bed? - until the silver-haired boy snorted awake.  “She lives!”

“Oh.”  He grunted and rubbed his eyes.  “You’re up.  Good.  How do you feel?”

How did she feel?  She blinked at the question.  Her body had woken up, but her mind wasn’t quite there yet.  “Um… tired?”  She noticed the snack food wrappers and even a couple of plates scattered across her floor.  “Have you two been camping in here?”

“Just the past couple days.”  Lea shrugged.  “You scared us there.  We wanted to make sure you didn’t hurt yourself again.”

“Hurt myself…?”  Aqua touched her forehead.  She felt a little warm, which she expected was from the thick blankets rather than a fever, but otherwise couldn’t sense anything wrong.  Other than the bone-deep exhaustion, anyway.

“Do you remember anything?”  Riku asked, standing so he could talk to her more directly.  Lea still leaned against the side of her bed, arms tucked behind his head.

“I…”  She winced at the sharp pain that hit her like a blow to the head.  So much for nothing being wrong.  “What… should I be remembering?”

“Don’t worry about it yet.”  He rested a hand on her shoulder.  “We can talk about that after you’ve recovered.  Do you want something to eat?”

She _was_ rather hungry, she realized.  She tried to swing her legs out of the bed, but it was like trying to wade through quicksand.

“Hey, take it easy,” Lea said.  “We can bring you something.”

“No, I’m fine,” she tried to assure them.  It would have been much easier if her body agreed with her words; its sluggishness betrayed her.

“I can make a pretty mean soup.  I’ll be back before you can miss me.”  Lea grinned against her protest, then stood and left the room, closing the door behind him.

Aqua sighed and shook her head, even though soup actually didn’t sound bad…

“I should probably make sure he doesn’t burn down the whole Castle.”  Riku smiled.  “Do you think you’ll be alright for a little while?”

Panic flashed through her.  She couldn’t be alone.  Not now.  Why, she didn’t know, but she couldn’t.  In desperation, she reached out for Riku’s arm and clasped his wrist.  “Stay,” she whispered.  “Please.”

He nodded and waited patiently for her to release his arm.  Her breath came raggedly.  What was wrong with her?  Usually she couldn’t get a moment to herself, between traveling with Van, and enduring questions from Mickey and Riku and Lea, and Drizzle sticking to her side…

“Drizzle,” she said.  “Did you take him out to play?”

Riku frowned.  “No.  We were so worried about you, we didn’t realize he was missing until yesterday.”

“Yesterday?”  That couldn’t be right.  She remembered seeing him just yesterday.  But what had Lea said? They’d been camping out here for… the past _couple days?_ Her head swam.  “How long have I been asleep?”

“Five days,” he replied quietly.  

“Five... _days?”_ Well, it was no wonder that her mouth tasted disgusting, but that was the least of her worries.  “What happened to me?  Did I lose a battle?”

“We were hoping you could tell us.  You were alone when it happened.”

The sharp pain in her head had faded to a fuzzy ache, like it was stuffed full of cotton balls.  Any mental exertion was beyond her for now.  “Hopefully it will come back to me soon.  But I’m still confused.  Where’s Drizzle?”  She felt that her unnatural fear of being left alone would subside if the Inversed were with her.

“...I think that’s a subject we should save for when you’re feeling better,” he dodged awkwardly, which only made her more concerned.

“Why?  Is he hurt?”

Riku remained silent.

“Please,”  she begged, stretching out for his arm again.  Her limbs were still weak, and she barely caught the edge of his wrist brace.  “I need to know.”

He wouldn’t meet her eyes when he answered.  “Mickey looked for him when we realized he was gone.  So far there’s been no sign of him.”

“He’s dead,” Aqua whispered.  The words felt like they came from someone else’s mouth.  As soon as she said them, though, she felt they were true.  “Oh light, he’s dead…”

“We don’t know that,” Riku tried to assure her, but she knew.

She remembered.

“He disappeared.  He was about to tell me something, something important, and then he- he-“ she choked.  She’d thought she was too weak to cry, but the tears came anyway.  Riku’s concerned face was a blur through them.

“I’m sorry.”

His words were sincere, but they were just words.  Words wouldn’t bring Drizzle back.  They wouldn’t bring Van back.

“Van!” She gasped.  “He’s— no… no…”

The lump in her throat suddenly felt suffocating.  Her mouth tried to suck in air, but none of it seemed to reach her lungs.  The shadows stretched around her; her fingers clutched at the sheets.   _Breathe!  He can’t… he’s fine! But…_

No. He wasn’t fine.  She remembered.  Drizzle fading, and then the darkness taking her.  And then… she didn’t know what had happened after that, how she had ended up here.  She was glad she didn’t though.  The empty space where her memories should’ve been was filled to the brim with fear.

Riku perched on the edge of her bed.  She still hadn’t released his wrist brace, but he gently removed her fingers so he could hold her hand in a more comforting position.  “I know you’re afraid,” he said quietly, almost softer than the ragged gasps of her breath.  “It’s okay.”

“Van is _dead_ \- it’s not _okay_!  How could you say that?”  She nearly yanked her hand back.

“We don’t know if that’s true,” he said carefully.  “And I meant that it’s okay to be afraid.”  Though his voice was soothing, his stiff posture betrayed his discomfort.  Here she was, weak and crying in front of someone she still barely knew; it was no wonder he was uncomfortable.

“Not for me,” she said, a little too snappily.  “I have to be stronger…”

_“See, that’s a common misconception about darkness.  That if you’re ‘strong’ enough, you can just ignore it, and it will go away.  If that were the case, you wouldn’t have this problem in the first place.”_

Van’s words echoed back from those horrible days, when her heart had been so steeped in darkness that she had just wanted to crush the universe.  His directions still didn’t make sense.  None of what anyone taught her about darkness did.  But was fear darkness?

“Strength isn’t everything.”  Riku smiled sadly.  “Believe me, I learned that one the hard way.”

Hadn’t she learned that as well?  Hadn’t she worried for Terra, and his obsession with power?  Hadn’t she called him out, said that that would lead him to the darkness?

_I’m such a hypocrite,_ she thought not for the first time. Probably not for the last, either.

“Then what do I need?” Aqua begged.  “You escaped the darkness, Riku.  You’re not afraid anymore.”

He gave a hollow chuckle.  “That’s what I thought before I dove into your nightmare.  I’m not sure the fear ever really goes away.  You just learn how to face it.”

_“You’ll control it.  Show it that your will is stronger.  By ignoring it, you’re telling it that you’re scared of it, and that it’s welcome to do whatever it wants.”_

Riku’s words, Van’s words.  They seemed to corroborate each other.  Stand up to the fear, face it head-on.  The thought made her want to crumble to dust.

“I don’t think I can,” she muttered.  “I’m not sure… there’s any point anymore.”

The door swung open.  “Any point to what?”  Lea asked as he waltzed in with a whole pot of soup.

Aqua shared a look with Riku before he answered for her.  “We’ll talk later.  All of us.”

Her eyes widened at his answer.  “I don’t want-“

“You need help, Aqua,”  Riku said firmly, though not unkindly. Like the tone she’d once used to make Ven wash his hair.  “You might have given up, but we haven’t given up on you.  You’re not alone here.”

Lea set the pot down in Aqua’s lap, thankfully with a hot pad underneath it.  “For once, I gotta agree with Riku.  We bring people back. It’s what we do.”  

He grinned, and the light in his eyes was contagious.  Aqua found an unexpected smile on her lips.

“Thank you.  Both of you.”

XXX

Time drifted erratically, like a planet shaken from its orbit.  Aqua would sleep for hours and wake up to find Riku or Lea napping against her bed, or playing some sort of card game, or sometimes just watching her with pity in their eyes.  That look made her skin itch, and so she would pretend to fall asleep again.  It was easy when so much of the time she _did_ simply fall back asleep.  Even when she did awaken fully, she barely had the energy to move.  Thankfully whenever Lea replaced her tomato soup, he provided her with a straw.

Memories trickled in slowly.  The nightmares pieced themselves back together, a shard at a time, until she could no longer forget.  Sometimes they would try to replay in her sleep, but each time they began Riku or Lea would shake her into consciousness and calm her down - Riku with soothing words that she began to suspect were quoted from someone, and Lea with jokes that were so bad they had to be original.

It helped a little.  She wished it helped more, but what could she expect?  What could they do when her enemy was inside her heart, her mind?  While they could save her from the nightmares, they couldn’t keep her from thinking.  From worrying.  From the ever-growing fear that Van was dead, that she had failed for the last time.

When she had the energy, she recorded those thoughts in her journal.  Lea must have retrieved it from when she’d fallen, because she found it waiting on her nightstand.  The angry gash where her gratitude list had been only reminded her of her failure to keep the darkness in check.  She tried to create a new one, filling it with items like Lea’s soup, Mickey’s soft smile, Riku’s near-endless patience.  That helped a little too, but as soon as she put down her pen, the despair would creep back.

She needed to move.  To get out of this white prison box.  How long had it been?  Lea said three days since she’d first awoken, but it felt like an eternity.  Her strength was returning, but not quickly enough.  Or had it already returned, and this feeling of helplessness was all in her head?

Since Lea was the more lax of her two “babysitters” - that was how it felt when she could hardly take care of herself; they even had to walk her to the bathroom - she asked him to take her for a walk outside.  Not just outside the room, outside the Castle.  

“Eh, sure.  Why not?”  He shrugged.  “Light knows I started to go crazy when I was cooped up here on missions too.”

“Thank you, Lea.”  She smiled.  He had to support her the whole way there, his arm under one of her shoulders, but the embarrassment was worth it for the fresh air.  She couldn’t help looking up at the Castle though, how its dull brown walls and angular shapes pierced the black sky.  Vaulting architecture that had once been regal was now twisted, menacing.

“Even my home has fallen to darkness,” she murmured.  “Why should I be any different?”

“You’re just a big old ray of sunshine, aren’t you?”  Lea sighed, and she scowled at him.

“I apologize if I’m depressing you,” she said sarcastically, but he just chuckled.

“Sorry, Aqua.  It’s just, you’re so like Riku.  That’s what Kairi says he used to be like, anyway - he’s been getting better lately.”  He shrugged.  “I don’t know why Mickey trusts us both to keep an eye on you.  We’re probably the least qualified babysitters ever.”

In spite of wanting to slap him just a moment ago, she had to hide a laugh.  So he thought he was on babysitting duty, too.  “I think you’re both doing a good job.”

“Heh.  Well, we _have_ both had a little practice, so maybe we’re not so bad at the regular stuff.  We’ve been talking, though.  We don’t know how we’re supposed to help you.”

She looked up; he was ruffling his hair self-consciously.  “What do you mean?”

He shrugged.  “Riku’s been drowning in his own angst-pit forever.  I was a heartless killer up until last year.  If you’re looking for light to rub off on you, you’ve come to the wrong place.”

“I don’t know,” she replied thoughtfully.  “I’ve learned a lot from you two.”  Just like she’d learned a lot from Van.  Maybe their light didn’t rub off in a traditional way, but they certainly weren’t to blame for her darkness.  

_Are they?_ No, that was the nightmare talking.  Lea was here.  Riku was here.  They cared.  Van wasn’t here, but he cared, too - or he would, if he was… if he was...

“Like what?” Lea asked, shaking her from her thoughts.  “How to tick off everyone in the worlds and get away with it?”

“No,” she replied honestly.  And she remembered what she _had_ learned.  “How to keep going, even when it seems hopeless.  To look for the light even when it seems it’s gone out.”  For the first time in a while, her hand found her Wayfinder.  It felt surprisingly warm to the touch, as if it had been sitting near a fire.

Lea laughed, a loud burst that shocked the smile off of her.  “You really are just like Riku.  He gave a cheesy monologue like that while you were knocked out.”

Aqua’s face reddened - not from embarrassment at his words, but from annoyance.  Maybe he wasn’t kidding about having ticked off everyone in the words.  Just as she was about to reply, though, the Castle’s giant doors opened.

“Don’t listen to him,” Riku said as he stepped out.  “He’s only jealous because he still hasn’t learned how to speak from his heart yet.”

“ _Ouch,_ bro.”  Lea put a hand over his chest.  “That’s a low one, even for me.  How’d you hear me from in there, anyway?”

“Besides the fact that you talk loud enough to hear a world away?  I’ve had a lot of practice.”

“Right, the whole blindfold deal... “ Lea sighed.  “Whatever.  What do you want?”

“I just thought I’d join you two.”  He sat down on the dusty ground.  It was only then that Aqua realized how much of her energy she’d used; she took a seat too, thankful that dirt didn’t cling well to her suit.

“Probably trying to babysit _both_ of us,” Lea stage-whispered from the back of his hand.  Aqua laughed for a moment, and then reality set in.  How could she laugh so easily?  Drizzle was gone; Van was probably dead.  A sober look took over her face.

“I can guess what you’re thinking about,” Riku said quietly, breaking the moment of awkward silence.  Apparently his eyes were just as keen as his ears, for all the talk of him having lived a year with a blindfold.  “You’re worried for Van.  I get that.  We can’t do anything for him until you’re back to full health.”

“We might not be able to do anything for him _at all,”_ Aqua burst in exasperation.  “He might be _dead,_ Riku.  If it’s true… I don’t know how I’ll live with myself.”

“The same way we all do,” Lea said.  She was half-expecting another blithe remark, but his voice was subdued.  “You take one breath.  Then you take another.  And you don’t stop until either your lungs break or there’s no more air to breathe in.”

There was a moment of silence.  Then Riku raised an eyebrow, and Lea huffed loudly.

“What?  You guys spout all sorts of fluffy crap, and you’re going to make fun of me for that?”

“No one said anything, Lea,” he replied.

Lea just huffed again.

“I think I understand what you mean.” Aqua smiled a little, even though it was difficult.  “I wish it were that simple.”

“Isn’t it?” Lea asked.  “What else are you going to do besides live?  Go off and get yourself killed?”

_“Lea,”_ Riku crossed his arms at his tone.

“It doesn’t hurt to ask,” he muttered.  “She wouldn’t be the first friend of mine to do that.”

“I’m not going to hurt myself,” Aqua assured him, wondering in the back of her mind who _was_ the first.  “...At least, not on purpose.”  She winced.

“Good.”  He nodded.  “You’re not the only one trying to keep a friend alive, you know.  We were worried about you.”

“I’m sorry,” she apologized out of habit, a few moments before the true realization sunk in.  She saw it on their faces, in spite of both of their efforts to play it cool - _she_ was the friend they were trying to keep alive right now.  They really did care.  

_But why?  I’ve only been a burden to them.  Haven’t I?_

But wouldn’t she do the same if someone she knew was hurting?  Wouldn’t she take care of them out of kindness, not obligation?  

Lea shrugged.  “No need to apologize.  That’s what friends are for, right, Riku?”

“Right.”  He smiled a little.  “If you want us to be your friends, Aqua.”

Her eyes widened.  Had she never called them her friends out loud?  No, of course she hadn’t.  She had been too focused on herself, on the friends she had lost, to put real effort into making new ones.

“Of course I do.”  She gave her most sincere smile since waking up from the nightmare.  “You’re both my friends already.  I’m sorry I haven’t shown it enough.”

“Hey, what did I say about apologizing?”  Lea elbowed her arm with a grin.

“Should I apologize for apologizing?”  She raised her eyebrows, but it didn’t have quite the same effect when paired with her smile.

Riku cleared his throat.  “I’m glad everyone’s feeling better, but we’ve still got some questions to answer.  If you’re feeling up to it.”  He inclined his head towards Aqua, who nodded.

“I am.  You want to know what we’re going to do next, right?”

They both looked to her expectantly.  She still couldn’t handle the weight of their gaze; her eyes fell to her lap.  To her Wayfinder, which she unconsciously held there.

_An unbreakable connection,_ she had told her friends.  Unbreakable.  Like she had once thought herself to be.  She had been humbled since then.  The question was, was their bond made of sturdier material than she was on her own?  Would she keep having faith in it, having faith in the three of them, even when all she could see ahead was darkness?

She cupped the glass charm in her palms.  The fire was gone; it felt cool to the touch.  Maybe she had imagined it earlier.

Had her friends’ lights gone out, like that warmth?  Probably.  But, as Riku had been quick to remind her earlier, not certainly.  The more important question was, had her own light gone out?  Would she let it fade while there was still a chance, however small it might be?

“I’ve never been able to use the spell Faith,” she spoke the thought that came to mind.  “My light was never strong enough for that, even before.  But faith is more than a spell.  It’s believing in something even when you can’t see it.”

Her fingers closed over the cold Wayfinder.

“That’s what I’m going to do.  I’m not giving up - not while I’m still breathing.”  She smiled at Lea, expecting a comment about her sappiness.  Instead, he threw an arm around her shoulder for a quick side-hug.

“See, now _that’s_ a decent monologue.”  He cracked a grin.  “You better keep that one memorized.”

Riku rolled his eyes, but he cautiously clapped Aqua on the back from her other side.  “For once, I agree with Lea.  It won’t be easy.  You’ll need to be able to remember that, even when the darkness seems unbearable.”

“It doesn’t go away, does it?”  She asked, though she felt she knew the answer.  “From what you and Lea, and even Van and Yen Sid have told me - I think I finally understand.”  As she spoke it, the pieces she hadn’t been able to line up before finally fell into place.  “You really do just keep going.  Keep trying to be better, keep believing it can be better.  There really is no secret, is there?”

Riku smiled sadly.  “That’s right.  There’s no secret.”

There was no easy answer: that _was_ the answer. All she could do was live, and try, and hope.  And see the good in herself, the light in the darkness, like she had with Van.

She took a deep breath, and then let it out.  “Then I guess I’ll just have to have faith in myself, too.”  She smiled.  “Come on.  I haven’t had real food in days; I’d like eat something before we get in the Gummi Ship again.”

“What do you mean you haven’t had real food?  My soup is _totally_ real food!”

Riku ignored him and grinned.  “I think we can arrange that.”

The two boys helped her to her feet; she was still weaker than she’d like to be.  In spite of the physical frailty, though, she felt the best she had in days.  She had found two new friends.  They were not Ven, or Terra, and they sure as light weren’t Van.  Thank goodness.  She was sure the worlds could hardly handle one of him, much less two.

_And there will still be one Van,_ she told herself.   _He survived dying once.  I wouldn’t put it past him to do it again._

As Riku and Lea assisted her inside, her Wayfinder gave a flickering glow.


	12. Graveyard

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For some reason I felt like I hadn’t updated this in forever, then I looked back and apparently the last chapter I posted was like two weeks ago? I think doing three hours of Calculus homework on the daily is messing up my interpretation of time. But anyway, a couple more relevant announcements before the chapter:
> 
> -Lauralkelley99 is doing an audiobook version of “Cast a Shadow”! If you’re a fan of audio versions of stuff, you can check it out here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gmcTBclc0FI&index=1&list=PLtmFKPZw56umNEXx1ewJR7wzwce_kydbF&t=114s (Link is also on my FFN profile because it will probably get eaten here. *sweatdrop*)
> 
> -I drew a cover for this story, finally! :D You can see the full size version on my dA (username taliaxlatia), both with and without the title on it.
> 
> Aaaaand that should be it! Enjoy!

“The Keyblade Graveyard.”  Riku fiddled with the Gummi Ship’s controls, probably doing something very important.  Aqua wouldn’t know; all of the buttons and levers seemed impossibly complicated to her.  She couldn’t blame Lea for crashing the thing before.  “Doesn’t sound like a friendly place.”

“It isn’t,” she answered, then pointed to a bright world as they flew overhead.  “There’s the Castle of Dreams.  We’re headed the right way.”  She had to be in front to copilot since neither Riku nor Lea had ever visited the world before.  Mickey could have driven, if he were here.  He had used his star shard to return to Disney Town after receiving an urgent message from Queen Minnie.  She wasn’t exactly sure what the message was; she had still been unconscious at the time.

“Are you sure you’re ready for this?”  Riku asked her.  “We don’t know what will be down there, and you still haven’t recovered all your strength.”

“I’ve recovered enough,” she asserted.  She’d agreed to rest one more night after her walk outside.  While Riku was right - she still wasn’t back to full health- her renewed faith had given her strength.  Or maybe that was just the nutrition of solid food again.  Either way, she was feeling well enough to keep going.  She feared that if she stopped for too long, it would only give her darkness more time to twist her mind.

“No one lives in the Graveyard, anyway,” she continued.  “I don’t think even Heartless would bother with it.”

“If it’s as important to Xehanort as you say, I wouldn’t be so sure.”  Riku’s mouth flattened.

That was a possibility that Aqua hadn’t considered.  Would Xehanort really want to form a fortress in that wasteland?  She honestly wasn’t sure where he had lived before, but it hadn’t been there.  She only knew that because of Van, who _had_ lived in the Graveyard. In his own words, “the old geezer was fine with making _me_ sleep in the dirt, long as _he_ didn’t have to.”

“If we see any signs of life, we’ll turn around,” Aqua said.  “If Xehanort _is_ there, then that actually helps you, doesn’t it?”

He thought for a moment, then nodded.  “Finding him would be a good step in making a plan.  But be sure to stick to that plan.  We won’t engage.”

She nodded back, and they fell into a comfortable silence.  Well, almost silence.  Lea was reclining in one of the back seats, snoring away.  Several smaller worlds had drifted below them before Riku spoke again.

“There’s something I’ve been wanting to ask you,” he said.

“Yes?” Aqua pushed aside her sudden nervousness.  It was ridiculous, but her mind immediately jumped to worrying that he was going to ask her on a date like Lea had.

“When I dove into your nightmare, I saw a version of Sora there.  Do you know why?”

Oh.  That was a perfectly normal question, if one that didn’t make any sense.  “Sora wasn’t there.  That’s probably Van you’re thinking of.”  Their resemblance must still be uncanny, if Riku noticed it too.  They would be about the same age now, wouldn’t they?

“You’re kidding,” he deadpanned.  “Are we talking about the same person? The guy with the black hair and gold eyes?”

“That was Van.  A nightmare of him, at least.”     

Riku didn’t often show surprise, but his eyes widened.  “Your friend… looks just like Sora.”

She nodded.

“And he’s been in there with you for twelve years?”

Again, she nodded.

“Please tell me Sora _isn’t_ his replica.”

She shook her head.  “I don’t think so.  I’m not sure how they’re connected, but I did notice the resemblance when Sora was young.”

Riku took a hand from the controls for long enough to massage his forehead.  “I swear, if Sora has _any more people_ hiding out in his heart…”

“...What?”

“Nevermind.  It’s a long story.”  He sighed.  “I suppose it’s worth asking too - the shadow in your heart.   _That_ wasn’t a replica of you, right?”

She wished he wouldn’t bring up that nightmare, but this whole replica business sounded important to him, for some reason.  “No.  If I had to guess… I’d say she was me.  A part of me, anyway.”  She hoped that didn’t mean she was going crazy, developing some kind of split-personality disorder, but she seemed fine.  All things considered, she was doing better than she had before.

“Good.  I mean, not good that your darkness was talking to you, good that - nevermind.”  He sighed as he steered the Gummi Ship out of the way of a bulbous asteroid.  “If you’re still worried about that, I’ve got good news.  I can tell that your light is getting stronger.”

“What?”  She asked in surprise.  “How would you know that?”

“I can smell it,” he answered, as if that were the most normal thing in the worlds.  

“You - you can smell light too?”  She grinned.  His head snapped to her, almost making him swerve into another floating space rock.  Lea let out a loud snore in the background.

“ _You_ can smell light?”

“Not me,” she corrected quickly.  “Van can smell darkness and light.  He thought it was some sort of power from being a heart of pure darkness - which he isn’t anymore.  The ability faded as he began to learn how to use light.”

“Huh.”  Riku faced ahead again.  They could see the Enchanted Dominion pass by below; they would reach the Keyblade Graveyard before too long.  “Mine has faded a little since I’ve learned to keep the darkness in check, but it’s still here.  It was strongest when I needed to wear the blindfold.”

“Was that how you were able to get around?”  Aqua asked, and he nodded.  “That still must have been difficult.  How long did you need to wear it for?”

“Almost a year,” he answered quietly.  “I got used to it.”

“I hope I’m not prying too much... but how could you fight like that?”  She couldn’t imagine.  Traveling in the dim Realm of Darkness had been one thing, but not being able to see at all?  How could you keep your darkness contained when it was all you could see?

“Fighting was the easiest part, actually.”  He shrugged.  “The Heartless give off a distinctive enough smell to target, and I learned to listen for movement as well.  It was the little things that were the most difficult.  Grocery shopping, keeping things clean, reading.”

“You wouldn’t have been able to read at all,” she realized.  

“Right.  That made navigating certain worlds difficult.  I did have some help, though.”  He smiled.

“Oh yeah?”  Lea’s head suddenly popped up between their chairs; Aqua bit off a scream.

“Lea!”  She shouted instead, wondering how she hadn’t realized when the snoring stopped.

“Help from who?”  Lea ignored her, grinning all the while.  Riku shot him the intense glare that Keyblade Masters were somehow known for.

“Oh look, we’re here.”  He said, and took them into a steep dive towards the desolate world.

XXX

“Coast is clear.” Lea stuck his head back in the Gummi Ship after scouting the area.  “No Xehanorts that I can see.”

“I didn’t smell any either,” Riku added.  “Are you ready, Aqua?”

She took a deep breath to steel her resolve, but she only succeeded in getting dust in her lungs.  Even inside the Gummi Ship she could feel the oppressive air of this world, like a predator holding its breath before the attack.  It was likely all in her head.  She gave herself a good shake and rose from the chair to follow her friends.

The light outside pierced through the dry air, seeming hotter and brighter than any other world she’d visited.  The intensity of it brought her back to that day, almost twelve years ago now, but so much closer for her.  Even counting the Realm of Darkness, she realized that was still the worst day of her life.  The day she lost her Master and her two best friends all at once.

“You don’t look so good,” Lea noted.  “You sure you’re up for a stroll in the desert?”

They both kept asking her that.  It was still strange, having them both take so much thought for her after having been the responsible one for so much of her life.  “I’ll be alright.”

He shrugged.  “If you say so.  Keep that water with you, though.”

She went back for the thermos she’d left in her cupholder.  While it wasn’t the heat that was really upsetting her, there was no harm in staying hydrated.  Eventually she’d get used to needing physical nourishment again, but for now it was still difficult to remember to eat and drink on a regular basis.

The heat and light assaulted her again, but she threw up an arm against the rays and a mental mantra against the memories.

_Xehanort is not here.  This is just an empty world, nothing more.  No Kingdom Hearts, no X-Blade.  I can do this.  I can do this._

She looked to Drizzle for reassurance, but of course he wasn’t there.  Instead Lea was giving her a thumbs-up.  She forced a smile and stepped the rest of the way out from under the ship’s shadow.  

“You weren’t kidding about the name.”  Riku stared out at the expanse of keys protruding from the ground, each of them an unnamed tombstone.  Somehow, somewhere, did those fallen warriors still have someone who remembered them?  When she fell, would she have anything more than a lifeless key to prove she’d existed?

She shook the morbid thought off like an unexpected cobweb.  She wasn’t planning on falling for a good time yet.

“Sooooo… You got any idea where to start?”  Lea asked as his gaze swept the graveyard.  They had landed close to where Xehanort had started that climactic battle, but not too close.  Empty dirt paths crossed before them between the field of blades, but the man-made mountain of platforms Xehanort had summoned rose a decent enough distance behind them that the Gummi Ship could block it out if she stood at the right angle.  Which she did.

“Not particularly,” she admitted.  “It depends on how well he wanted it hidden.”

“Well, considering he built a whole flaming chamber to hide it in Radiant Garden, I’d say he wants it hid pretty bad.”

Aqua sighed, shielding her gaze again as she scanned the horizon.  “In which case, it could be anywhere.  Or nowhere at all.”

“Great.  Looking for a needle in a needlestack.”  Lea clapped his hands together.  “Well, what are we waiting for?”

“We should split up and cover more ground,” Riku said before Lea could wander off.  “What does your keyblade look like, exactly?”

“Oh.  Good idea.”  She had thought of splitting up, but had forgotten that they wouldn’t know what they were looking for.  She fished her journal out of her skirt pocket, sketched two passable representations of Stormfall, and tore them out.  At the last moment she thought to use her magic to add color, as that would be its most defining feature.  “Here.”

Lea nodded as he took a page.  “Not bad.”

“Alright.  Shoot a Firaga upwards if you find anything.  If no one sees the signal in an hour, meet back here.”  Riku gave the orders naturally, and in spite of being his senior, it felt natural to follow.  Aqua nodded, and they parted ways.

She had barely begun wading through the sea of lifeless keys when she realized the direction her feet were taking her.  Towards the pillars.  The unnatural monolith where her friends had effectively perished.  She gritted her teeth and turned her gaze away, instead inspecting the keyblades around her.  None jumped out immediately, but she didn’t expect them to.  The shades of cobalt and rust blended together, all dusted over from years and years of wind and dirt biting into them.  Some even looked identical to each other, but the glare must have been deceiving her, because as far as she knew each wielder’s keyblade was supposed to be unique in its base state.  Unless these _weren’t_ in their base state, and there had once been a way to mass-produce similar keychains…

The interesting tangent occupied her mind as she wandered the Graveyard, until she felt something warm brush her leg.  She leapt back, ready to summon her blade, but the Graveyard was empty as ever.  And warmth still followed her.

Feeling foolish, she looked down and realized it was only her Wayfinder.  Standing for so long in the sun must have heated it.  She went to tuck it under her skirt and realized that not only had it absorbed the heat, but it seemed to have taken in the sun’s light as well; it glowed faintly in the shade.

_Wait… Was_ it just the sun?

She looked up, scanned the horizon, felt her heart beat fast.  If her Wayfinder was glowing, then maybe…

Her eyes widened.  Her body wove through the maze of dead keys before her brain could catch up.  Too slow; she used Doubleflight to soar over them, sometimes propelling herself from the rusted hilts.  All to reach that glint she saw in the distance, by the tower of earth: the sunlight reflecting off of the dark glass of a helmet.

The keys thinned out; she forwent jumping to sprint across the cracked earth, leaving clouds of dust in her wake.

_Is it really Van…?  If I came back in the Land of Departure, it would only make sense if he appeared here, if this is where he’s from--_

She skidded to a stop; dirt sprayed up into her eyes.  As she blinked away the debris, she could tell one thing for sure: it wasn’t Van.  Tears cleared the dirt from her eyes faster than her blinks.

“... _Terra_?”

 A copper and bronze armored figure knelt in the dirt, his keyblade embedded in the ground, as if it were another dead tombstone.  But it _was_ him, unless her mind had somehow snarled her away into another nightmare.  She didn’t want to believe that, but it was about as likely as her stumbling blindly into her friend on this forsaken ground where Xehanort had first taken him.

Terra’s cape rustled gently in the breeze - since when did his armor have a cape? - but otherwise he didn’t move.  Aqua wanted to rush up, to hug him, to sob at how worried she’d been for him, how she’d never expected to see him _here_ of all places, but she held herself back.  

“Terra, are you… are you in there?”  She asked.

No answer but the wind.  No… the wind, and - a soft, smooth metallic sound; a drawn out and distorted echo.

_“Aqua…”_

She gasped - how had - had he-?

The discordant echo sounded again. Somehow in her mind, she could feel the words she couldn’t hear. _“Aqua… is that… you?”_

“Yes,” her voice answered, though how she could speak with her heart in her throat she didn’t know.  “It’s me, Terra.”

His head rose slightly, the only movement he’d made so far.  “ _Why… why are you… your clothes…”_

She stepped forward, pretending to huff in exasperation, though really her heart was flying.  “Come on, Terra, the first time I see you in twelve years, and you’re going to ask about my clothes?”

_“Aqua… no.  You’re… him.”_ The metallic echo somehow grew more agitated, sharper.   _“Van… itas.”_

“No!”  She shouted, drawing closer.  Slowly, as if he were out of practice, Terra began to stand.  “Terra, it’s me, Aqua!  Your friend!  Can’t you see?”

“ _Van… itas…”_ He repeated, as if in a trance.  “ _Vanitas!”_

He rose in a slow sweeping motion, drawing his blade from the earth’s sheath.   _Was_ this another nightmare?  It felt surreal as one.

“Don’t do this, Terra,” she pleaded as she reluctantly summoned Master Keeper and took up a weak battle stance.

His only reply was to lunge towards her, faster than he ever had before.  Aqua barely had time to throw up a barrier; it caught the shaft of his blade but exploded on impact, sending her staggering.  He didn’t hesitate.  His combo came fast and hard, a flurry of blows that surged with energy.  She would have admired how much stronger he had gotten, if she weren’t busy getting killed.  

A hasty Curaga saved her from blacking out.  She only had the time because he was readying some sort of shotlock; she saw his keyblade morph into a blighted _cannon._ Well, two could play at that game.

She cartwheeled to the side and focused on him, calling light to her blade.  Then, as he released his first barrage of energy, she spun.

Lightbloom exploded from her.  Dozens of beams collided in midair; she felt their heat engulf her though she couldn’t see them.  All her thought funneled into keeping her momentum, keeping the twirl going, not thinking how she was fighting one of her best friends _again_ and how if she hurt him for real this time the darkness might take her and-

Her momentum failed.  The last of her magic deserted her in a final blast of light.  Had he been any other enemy, he should have been unconscious by now.  But this was Terra, and they had been evenly matched before.

Things had changed.  She had spent a few months in the Realm of Darkness; for him, it had been over a decade.  Plenty of time to hone his strength, to grow stronger than she had ever imagined.  Not to mention she still had yet to recover from her time in the nightmare.

All this flashed through her mind as the finally volleys of Terra’s shotlock took her in the chest.

She skidded across the dirt, not stopping until her back hit the pillar of earth.  Her head spun, both from the blow and from the aftermath of her shotlock.  Foolish; she should have known she was still too weak to attempt such a move.  

_He… is he really going to kill me?_ Even after taking such a hit, she found it hard to believe.  She hadn’t put an end to Ven, and she hadn’t put an end to him.  She had to believe that he would show the same mercy.

Footsteps clomped towards her.  They were slow, steady.  If he wanted to kill her, he at least wasn’t in a rush about it.  She took a moment to cast Cure; she didn’t have enough magic left for a Curaga.  Belatedly, she realized she should have used it to cast Fire upwards, but by the time Riku and Lea reached her it might be too late anyway.

“Terra…” She muttered softly, blinking as his armored form blocked out the sun.  “Why does it feel like we’re always fighting?”

He paused, looming over her, cape billowing dramatically behind him.  Had he always been so tall?  It was difficult to remember.

That metallic shifting echoed around her.  His words again translated in her mind.   _“You… used light.  … Aqua?”_

She breathed a shaky sigh of relief.  She had used light, hadn’t she?  “That’s right.  Took you long enough.”

_“Not… Vanitas?”_ His head tilted sideways; with the protrusions on his helmet, he looked for a moment like a confused puppy.  It was enough to make her laugh, then choke on the dusty air.

“No.  I’m not Vanitas.”  And now would certainly not be a good time to bring him up.  “Terra, what’s happened to you?  What’s wrong with your voice?”

He knelt down beside her.   _“Xehanort… took my body.  I’m not… I’m not…”_ He shook his head.

“You’re not Xehanort,” she assured him. “Whatever happened to you, I know you can overcome it.  I won’t give up on you.”  Not like she had before, when she had told him he’d go astray again.  It didn’t matter how many times he’d gone astray; there would always be a way to bring him back.

_“Aqua…”_ Even in her mind, his voice sounded reluctant.  His head turned away.

“I promise,” she said, reaching out towards his helmet.  He jerked back, and her hand fell short.  “Is it the golden eyes?  I… actually had those too, for a while.”

He looked up in surprise, but his voice was slow in coming.   _“I’m sorry.  But that’s not why.”_

“Then what is?” She asked.

“ _Xehanort.”_ His metallic voice growled.  “ _He stole my body.  I didn’t want you to see me… not like this.”_

Like this?  Like… She gasped.  “He… _still_ has your body?”

Terra nodded.  Or, rather, Terra’s armor did.  She stared at his helmet, hoping to see a flicker beneath the glass, but she only saw her own pained reflection.

“Oh, Terra…” This time, instead of reaching for his face, she leaned in for a hug.  He stiffened - as much as a suit of armor could become stiffer - but he didn’t try to escape.  “We’ll find a way out of this.  I promise.”

He didn’t respond for a long time, just knelt there until Aqua wondered if he was still alive, if the spirit had gone out of him.  But then he dropped his keyblade and gently hugged her back.

_“I always wanted to protect you and Ven,”_ his words quietly echoed in her mind.   _“But look what I’ve done… I’m just glad you’re safe.”_ He sighed, a drawn-out artificial breath.   _“Is Ven with you? Is he okay?”_

“He’s not here,” she answered truthfully.  Then, less truthfully, “He’s fine.”

_“I wish… I had been able to tell you both… how much you matter to me.  I never said that enough, and I…”_

“We knew, Terra.”  Tears pricked her eyes.  “We always knew.  And I’m sorry that I didn’t believe in you as much as I should have.  You were just trying to do what was right.”

_“I should have tried harder,”_ he insisted.   _“But… thank you, Aqua.  For believing in me now.  Someone once told me… there’s power in just believing…”_

“There is.”  She squeezed him.  “You keep holding on, Terra.  We’ll find your body again.”  That was… a lot weirder when she said it out loud.  But she meant it.  They’d rip Xehanort out, and find a way to put Terra back in.  “You can come back with us.  We can work together, this time.”

He paused.  Maybe he was thinking; it was hard to tell.  Then he shook his head.   _“I can’t… not like this.  I’m not always… all… here…”_

“You could,” she protested weakly.  She could already hear his voice fading, growing distant.  

“ _No… I can’t.  But… thank you, Aqua.”_ Somehow, against all reason, his voice sounded like he should be smiling.  “ _If you can, though… just… stay… ...until…”_

“I will,” she choked out.  “As long as you need me to.”

_“Thank… you…”_

She rested her head against his shoulder.  It wasn’t particularly comfortable, but with the sun having heated his armor for the past - well, who knew how long - she could pretend it was his own warmth.

It could have been minutes, it could have been hours.  The sun beat down on her back; she began to feel lightheaded again, but she couldn’t just leave him there, not when his mind might still be in there.  When his arms finally began to feel heavy around her back, though, she had to admit that he was gone again.

She ducked out from his embrace, propping up his arms with his keyblade so that he looked more or less in the same position she’d found him. Kneeling there, he could have been keeping watch over the Graveyard, like a silent guardian.

She briefly had a thought she wasn’t proud of: Terra’s keyblade, Ends of the Earth, could open portals.  There was only a minimal possibility that she could use it, with him still technically being alive, but it _was_ a possibility.  Should she try to…?  No.  His keyblade might be the only focus tying his consciousness together; his armor wouldn’t function without it.  If she borrowed it for even a brief moment, she couldn’t guarantee that he would be alright.

“Terra… I’ll come back for you, too,” she whispered, then forced herself to turn her back on the shell of one of her best friends.

The plain of lifeless keys mocked her; her blade wouldn’t be among them.  If Xehanort had returned here, Terra would have known, and likely would have killed him.  She was out of ideas, but for now, that didn’t matter.  Another piece of Terra was still alive and fighting.  And that meant she had another reason to keep fighting, too.

With a new light in her heart, she took a swig of her water and jogged off to find her friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When Lea is teasing Riku in the beginning, it’s about Namine again. ^^;
> 
> I’m going to guestimate there are threeish more chapters left after this? Don’t quote me on that, but we’re getting close!  
> Also, I haven’t given up on “Stroke of Midnight” for those following that, I’ve just been having some good momentum with this and am trying to bust it out before it runs out.


	13. Connection

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to have this up in time for Valentine’s Day, buuuuut instead I spent most of yesterday playing KH0.2.  (A great way to spend Valentine’s Day in my opinion, with arguably the most depressing of the KH games xP)  Anyway, here we are now!
> 
> Also, there’s a new poll on my profile if you want to vote for what I should focus on updating; currently this story is the highest on my priority list, but I might be jumping back to “Stroke of Midnight” soon.

 

Aqua shared the bittersweet news about Terra during their Gummi Ship ride back - though this time, they weren’t returning to Castle Oblivion or Radiant Garden, but Riku’s home: Destiny Islands.  Since they were currently out of leads, he thought it would be a good time to check in with his parents.  Lea teased him about it, but Aqua respected the sentiment.  If she had taken the time to report on her progress to Master Eraqus, she would have seen him at least one more time before… well.  Life for keyblade wielders was dangerous; as much as its power gave one a sense of invincibility, that could all fall apart in a moment.

So she didn’t complain about the detour.  Besides, as they disembarked on the beach of Destiny Islands and she felt the ocean breeze surround her, she felt that same light she had the first time she’d visited.  Something about this world was just special.

“Ugh, I gotta get me some new clothes.”  Lea tugged on the collar of his coat.  “Somebody warn me next time before you drag me to any more worlds covered in dirt and sand.”

“I don’t know why you’ve kept that for so long.  You won’t be using dark corridors for a while,” Riku pointed out, heading for the little wooden boats tied beneath the dock.  Aqua followed, glad that her boots were tall enough to keep out the sand, but at the same time part of her wanted to pull them off and feel the sun-warmed grains between her toes.

“Well, the fairies don’t offer to remake _everyone’s_ wardrobe,” Lea huffed.  “And I haven’t exactly had time to go shopping…”

“You can go while I stop by my house, if you want.”

“And end up with some crazy beach-print shirt?  Hard pass.”

Riku rolled his eyes as he tugged on a rope, pulling the boat onto the sand.  “You spent all your munny again, didn’t you?”

Lea might have been blushing; it was hard to tell since he’d gotten sunburned so badly at the Keyblade Graveyard.  Aqua had been protected by Riku’s reminder to wear sunscreen.  “Of _course not._ I’m just… saving it, that’s all.”

“It was the ice cream in Radiant Garden, wasn’t it?”  She remembered.  She had still been mostly in her own world then, but she remembered Lea showing up with the sea-salt flavored treat every time they searched the castle together.

“It’s one of the only worlds that has it!”  He threw his arms in the air.

Riku dug in his pocket for a moment, then flicked the redhead a sparkling yellow gem.  “There.  No excuses now.”

Lea blinked at it, then at Riku, then grinned and pocketed it.  “You’re going to ask me for some kind of favor later, aren’t you?”

“Just the usual one.  Keeping your big mouth shut.”

He didn’t even bother with a retort for once, he just laughed.  It was probably the smell of salt and tropical flowers lifting their spirits, particularly after a day in the silent Keyblade Graveyard.  Though this world was just as warm, and humid on top of that, the air was still easier to breathe.

“We’re really riding in that thing?”  Lea asked Riku.  “We couldn’t have just parked the ship on the other island?”

“And crushed someone?”  Riku raised an eyebrow as he untied the boat.  “There aren’t any good parking spots over there.”

“‘Course not,” Lea muttered, glaring at the boat as if it were the reason he was broke, and not his ice cream addiction.  Aqua had to laugh.  If Van were here, he would likely distrust the rickety-looking boat even more.  She grasped her Wayfinder, wishing he was here no matter how much he would probably dislike this bright world and all its water.  The charm was still warm, though she had left Terra behind yesterday, and the sun here hadn’t had enough time to heat it.  Maybe it just resonated with the light of this world too?

Lea hovered as Riku finished undoing the knots.  “You sure we’ll all fit in there?”

“I didn’t take you for such a worrier, Lea.”

“I’m not!”

“Uh-huh.”  Riku smirked.

“Whatever.”  Lea turned away and unzipped his coat halfway, then tugged it up over his head.  Aqua noticed with some embarrassment that he didn’t have a shirt on underneath.  “If we fall in, I’m not going down in this thing.”

Fair enough, she guessed.  They _were_ at the beach, after all.  Maybe she should give in and go shopping with him, get out of this full-body suit… No; she could hardly finish the thought.  She would wear the suit until she found Van.  Changing now would feel like giving up on him.

She couldn’t do that.  Not yet.  Even if they seemed farther away from succeeding than ever before…

“Aqua?”  Riku asked.  He had looked up in time to catch the moment of despair on her face.

She forced a smile, then realized she didn’t have to.  These were her friends; she could be honest with them.  “Sorry.  I’m just worried about finding Van.”

Riku nodded.  “We’re still going to come up with another plan.  We can regroup at my house after I talk with my parents.  They’ll understand.”

He tossed Lea one of the oars, and Aqua the other.  Lea made a face.

“You really want _me_ to row?”

“Yep.  Master’s orders.”  It might have been a joke, but it was a little hard to tell with Riku.

“Master of being a pain in the butt…” Lea muttered, just loud enough for Aqua to hear.

“Don’t worry.”  She smiled.  “I’m a Master too.  Let me handle this.”

Riku gestured for them to climb in, and they squished as well as possible, Aqua taking the back, Lea in the middle, and Riku in front.

If Lea had known that her version of “handling this” involved shooting a jet of water behind them to propel the boat forward, she doubted he would have agreed to it.  It was worth it though to see his face turn green under his sunburn and to hear Riku actually laugh out loud for once.  The tiny boat sliced through the waves as if it were born for speed.  Despite fearing that Lea might end up throwing up on her, she relished the rush of the wind in her face, the ocean spray in her hair.  Sailing like that, it was easy to believe she could do anything.  Even rescue Van from the darkness.

They didn’t capsize.  That didn’t stop Lea from screaming a few times when they jumped a particularly large wave.  No, in spite of the excitement, they made it safely to the opposite shore, where Aqua gently slowed them onto the sand.  A few kids building a sandcastle took a look at them and then scrambled away.

Riku laughed and climbed out.  “Thanks, Aqua.”

Lea flopped over the side like a half-dead fish.  “Uuuuurrrrghhhh…”

Aqua shared a potion with him in apology.  It didn’t stop him from threatening under his breath that he’d spread her secret about Van, but she didn’t believe him.  As much as he’d mess with them both, he was too nice for that.  Now that the threat of getting soaked was over, he threw back on his coat, which he’d somehow managed to keep mostly dry.  He left the gloves in his pockets, though.

While Riku led them into the thick of Destiny Islands proper, Aqua revelled in the sights, sounds, and smells.  Mountains rose behind a quaint red-roofed village, where people young and old walked leisurely through the dirt streets, as if the concept of hurrying hadn’t been invented yet.  Maybe it was the soft cawing of seagulls in the distance, or the smell of someone roasting burgers over a fire, but the unrushed feeling sunk into her as well.  It was strange, how certain worlds could have such strong feelings.  Could it have anything to do with their hearts?  If the stars were world’s hearts, shining down like millions of lanterns, then she would bet that this was the brightest.  

Soon enough they arrived at Riku’s house, which  was… well, just like all the other houses around it.  She should have expected that, shouldn’t she?  Just because he was a Keyblade Master didn’t mean he lived in a castle.  Those days were in the past - at least twelve years in the past.

She hung back with Lea, but Riku didn’t hesitate.  He rapped twice on the door and walked right in.  “Mom!  I’m home!”

Aqua and Lea shared a look.  It said something like, _“Do we go in?”_ Or maybe, _“Wait, Riku actually has a family?”_ Sure, he’d said they were going to visit, but for some reason Aqua hadn’t realized he was going to bring them to his actual house.  With his actual family.  Ven and Terra and the Master were her family, but she’d never been introduced to someone else’s mother or father; were there any customs of respect she was supposed to show?  Riku would have told her if there were, wouldn’t he?

“Hey, you guys can come in,” Riku called back from inside, as if it were the most normal thing in the world.

“Oh!  You brought friends this time!”  A woman’s voice exclaimed, and then suddenly she was in the doorway, a tall, silver-haired lady with wearing a simple white t-shirt, flaring jeans, and wide hoop earrings.  Her smile brought out the creases of age in her tan face, but still it was bright enough to be the cause of all the light on the world.

“Hello,” Aqua said tentatively.  Should she bow or something?

“Oh, and one of them’s a _girl!”_ Riku’s mom gushed before swallowing Aqua in a hug that could have crushed bones.  Riku had certainly gotten his muscles from somewhere.

“ _Mom,”_ Riku groaned.  “Agh, it’s been so long, I should’ve known she’d get like this…”

“What’s her name?”  The woman asked, releasing Aqua just in time for her to breathe.  “Oh, sorry, sweetie, I suppose I can ask you myself, can’t I?”

“Um, I’m Aqua,” she said.

“And I’m Lea,” Lea added, holding out his hand.  “Got it memorized?”

Riku’s mom completely ignored the invitation for a handshake, instead wrapping the taller Lea in a hug just as tight as the one she’d given Aqua.  “Lea!  It’s great to finally meet you, Riku has told me _so_ much about you!”

“...He has?”  He croaked out.

“Of course!  He wouldn’t forget to tell me about his first apprentice!”

Lea’s eyes bulged, and not just from the force of the hug this time.  “ _Apprentice?  Your_ apprentice?”

Riku crossed his arms and smirked.  “Who babysat you those first few months when you could hardly summon your keyblade?”

“Hey!   _I’m_ the one who babysits!  Sheesh, I’m _older_ than you!”

“Come in, come in!”  Riku’s mom swept Aqua and Lea inside.  The house had soft carpet that squished under Aqua’s boots.  She wished again that she was barefoot, like Riku’s mom was now.  She was probably tracking in enough sand to build a castle.

“Mom…” Riku protested.  “I know you’re just trying to help, but we really just came by to regroup…”

“Then you can ‘regroup’ over some fruit salad and pot roast.  I made some last night; we had Kaze and Hikaru over for dinner.”

“Sora’s parents?  Has he come home lately?”  Riku asked as they sat on stools around a circular kitchen table.  Aqua tried not to show her nervousness at the unusual situation, but Lea was grinning now that he wasn’t being hugged to death.  Maybe this was normal.

“I’m afraid not.  Kairi has, though; unless she left this morning she should still be in town.”

“That’s good to hear,” Riku replied, even as Lea suddenly went pale.  Weren’t he and Kairi friends though? “We’ll stop by later if we have time.”

“My little hero, always so busy.” His mom smiled sadly, setting a giant bowl of chopped fruit on the table.  “At least you make time to come home now and then.”

“It’s the least I can do after making you worry for a whole year…”

Despite Aqua’s initial nervousness, Riku’s mom quickly made her and Lea feel at home, serving them a warm lunch and chatting with them and Riku about their travels.  She didn’t pry into the exact nature of their mission, thankfully.  Instead she asked about the worlds they’d visited recently, where Aqua was from, how Lea’s training was going.  When the meal was finished, Aqua offered to help wash dishes, but it was Riku who turned her down.

“I’ll take care of it.  You and Lea can hang out back if you want, I’ll be out in a little bit.”

She wanted to insist, but realizing that he might just want some time alone with his mom, she complied.  

The backyard wasn’t fenced in; the swath of swaying grass butted up against a hill of rock that prevented another house from being built behind it.  A few palm trees also skirted the lawn, casting long shadows in the late afternoon sun.  Due to this, despite still being close to the center of town, it still managed to feel secluded.

“I forget that some of us still have families,” Lea mused, lounging against one of the trees.  “Most of them do, actually.  Riku, Sora, Kairi - heck, even Mickey’s got a family back home.  Hope the Queen’s doing alright…”

“Do you know why she had to call Mickey home?”  Aqua asked, remembering the urgent business the King had had to leave on.

“Something about Maleficent again.  I didn’t hear all the details; I was a little busy trying to make sure you didn’t get attacked by darkness in your sleep.”  He shrugged.  “I’m sure Mickey can handle it.  He and Sora have taken care of her before.”

Aqua nearly missed his later sentences, busy as she was trying to understand the first one.  She sat under the shade of the tree and dropped her head in her hands.  “ _Maleficient?_ Seriously?  Does no one just stay dead?”

“Yeah, I thought she would’ve kicked the bucket ages ago too.”  He shrugged.  “She gave the Organization trouble a few times.  Not me personally, though.”

“Well, she had enough personal trouble for me.”  Aqua sighed.  “She’s the first one who manipulated Terra into using his darkness.  Besides Xehanort, anyway.  If it weren’t for her…”  Well, she still didn’t have all of the details on what happened between her and Terra to know exactly what could have happened.  It felt good to blame her anyway.

“Well, maybe Mickey will save a piece of her for you.” Lea smirked.  “If you’ve got time for a little revenge-sidequest, I’m sure he wouldn’t mind the help.”

Though the offer was tempting, she shook her head.  “No.  I have to stay focused.  If Mickey can handle it like you said, then I don’t need to go chasing a grudge.  Van needs me more.”

Lea nodded.  “Fair enough.  Riku didn’t want to get your hopes up, but that’s one of the reasons we decided to come back here.  He said Vanitas and Sora are connected somehow, so there was a chance if he came back to the light, he’d end up here.  Small chance, but it’s where Riku and Sora ended up when the Realm of Darkness spit them out.”  He shrugged.

“That was sweet of him.”  Aqua smiled.  That made a little more sense too,  not that she would have minded if Riku’s family had been the only reason for visiting - she didn’t know where else to go, and Destiny Islands was a far more pleasant place to camp than Castle Oblivion or even Radiant Garden.

“I just wish I knew what to do now…” She stared up through the leaves; the sky overhead was gaining the pinkish tinge of late afternoon.  Lunch had taken longer than she’d expected; they’d probably need to spend the night here.  She had slept a little on the Gummi Ship, but Riku hadn’t had that opportunity.  

“Yeah, about that,” Lea began a little awkwardly before settling down in the grass next to her.  His fingers absently plucked a blade of grass and began twirling it.  “I’ve got an idea, actually.”

“You do?”  She asked.

“Hey, don’t sound so surprised.”  He flicked the grassblade at her.  “I’ve had it for a while, actually.  Since Riku did his whole dive-in-and-fix-your-heart thing.”

“Why didn’t you say something sooner?”

He picked another piece of grass, but this time shredded it with his thumbnail.  “I did, to Riku.  He wasn’t exactly thrilled about it.”

“...And why’s that?”  She pressed on.

“...Maybe I should let him tell you.”  He nodded towards the porch, where the wooden door swung shut behind Riku.

“What is it this time?”  Riku asked, sitting down with his legs stretched out and reclining back on his palms.  

“I figured we should tell Aqua about the plan I had.  Unless you’ve got a better idea.”

She looked between the both of them, wondering what was going through their heads, what they’d been hiding from her.  Who were they to reject any possible way of rescuing Van?  And then: if they _were_ debating it, how dangerous was this possible plan?

“Alright,”  Riku relented with a sigh.  “There is one other place that Xehanort was connected to.  The World That Never Was.”

The way he said it, he expected the name to set warning bells ringing.  Her blank look said otherwise.  “Is there a problem with that?”

“Well, the last two times Riku and I’ve been there, we almost got ourselves killed.  So yeah, a little.”  Lea shrugged.  “It was the Organization’s home base, before Riku and Sora took out the Boss.  Then it got a little… what’s the word?  Sleepy?”

Riku rolled his eyes at the attempted joke.  “It’s in the Realm of Sleep now.  Halfway, at least.  Xehanort hijacked my Mark of Mastery Exam to bring us there, but it was even more transient than the other Sleeping Worlds.  It’s not stable.”

Realm of Sleep?  Aqua knew of the Realms of Light, Darkness, and Between, but not Sleep.  “So… can we go there?  Or is it too unsafe?”

“That’s the thing.  I’m not sure.”  Riku frowned.  “It could have deteriorated even further since we were there last.  Or Xehanort could be there.”

“Or it could be completely empty, since their whole time-travel thing ran out,” Lea countered.  “I only brought it up because she deserves to know.  Her armor could be there.”

“You really think there’s a chance?”  Aqua asked.

“As good as anywhere else we’ve checked,” Riku admitted.  “Possibly better.  Xemnas did live there for years.”

“Then I have to go.”  She started to stand, but Lea grabbed her wrist.

“Whoa, slow down.  You think you’re going to just fly there on your own?”

What was she thinking?  She wasn’t, really.  Riku was the only one who could fly the Gummi Ship.  They couldn’t leave this second, anyway.  It was just motivating to finally have another clue, one that even Riku found promising.

If dangerous.  And she still wasn’t back to one hundred percent...

“Sorry.”  Her face reddened as she forced herself to relax.

“There’s no way to fly there, anyway,” Riku said.  “We’d have to Drop.”

“Fancy magical sleep,” Lea whispered an explanation from behind his hand.  

“Err… alright.”  She decided that asking questions would probably only confuse her further.  “When can I go?”

Lea laughed.  “You say that like you’re going to leave us behind.  Come on, you know us better than that.”

“But, if it’s dangerous-”

“Then all the more reason to call in backup.  Right, Riku?”

Though he looked annoyed at having to agree with Lea, he nodded.  “We’ve faced danger before. Besides, I wouldn’t know how to send you in alone;  I can only Drop myself.  We’ll need Mickey or Yen Sid to get all three of us there.”

Aqua stared into their faces, trying to read them.  Lea was grinning with his usual nonchalance; Riku’s expression was firm and determined.  Even though they were friends, she didn’t expect them to be so ready to jump into such a dangerous endeavor.

_Life is always dangerous for keyblade wielders,_ she remembered her earlier thought.   _At least this time we get to pick which dangers we’re willing to face._

“Well, in that case… thank you.”  She smiled.  “So when do _we_ leave?”

“Tomorrow afternoon.  That’ll give us some time to rest and stock up on whatever supplies we need.”  Riku stood and brushed the grass from his pants.  “I’ll have to contact Yen Sid from the Gummi Ship too.  I’m sure he’ll be willing to help, but it would be best to check first.”

“Sounds good to me,”  Lea said.  “So, are we crashing here tonight?”

“I guess you can stay here,” Riku replied, like he hadn’t really thought about it.  “Aqua, maybe you can stay with Kairi, since she’s in town.”

“If that’s alright with her,” she said.  Honestly, she would be fine sleeping on the beach, or in the backyard, or literally anywhere.  There wasn’t a spot on these islands that could be less comfortable than the Realm of Darkness.

After ironing out a little more of their plan, they decided to head over to Kairi’s house to make sure it would work with her.  As they were walking, though, Lea announced that he really wanted to go buy some new clothes before it got too late, and cut off down a side street before Aqua or Riku could stop him.

“I hope he keeps out of trouble.”  Riku sighed.

“Is he really that worried about seeing Kairi?”  Aqua asked.

“I doubt it.  Probably just doesn’t want to meet her parents.  Kairi’s too forgiving for her own good, but that doesn’t change the fact that he kidnapped her.”

“What?”  Aqua balked.  Somehow she’d missed that part of the story, but Riku filled her in as they walked.

“...and somehow we all made up.”  Riku chuckled.  “I never would have thought they would both end up as my apprentices…”

He led her onto another porch, knocked, and this time waited for the door to open.  Aqua was a little afraid another enthusiastic parent would answer, but it was Kairi herself who greeted them.

“Riku!  Aqua!  It’s so good to see you!”  She hugged him first, then her.  It was a little shocking, considering they hadn’t spent much time together, but then again Kairi was a Princess of Heart.  The friendly gesture brought a smile to her face.

“It’s good to see you too, Kairi.”

“How did you get back from Merlin’s?”  Riku asked.  “Cid didn’t let you fly a Gummi Ship by yourself, did he?”

“No, Mickey brought me.  He’s traveling again, looking for some kind of box before Maleficent finds it.  He had some time to take me with him, since I’ve finished all the training Merlin can give me.”

Riku did a double-take.  “You - wait, you’re _finished?”_

“Uh-huh!”  She grinned and clasped her hands behind her back.  “With Lea out of the way, I could actually focus for once! Where is he, anyway?  He didn’t get so annoying that you had to ditch him, did he?”

Riku smiled.  “I did consider it, but no.  He went to go buy himself a shirt.  He’ll turn up again eventually.”

“Well, since I’m not _grounded_ anymore, can I come with you three?  I might be done with my official magic training, but I’m still going to have to work hard to catch up with you and Sora!”

Kairi’s face was so hopeful - it reminded her of Ven, the times he’d wanted to come with her and Terra.  The times right before she told him to go home.  She could even see that concern on Riku’s face, a diluted version of what she’d felt then.

“She should come,” Aqua found herself saying, interrupting what was sure to be a denial from Riku.  He raised a questioning eyebrow at her, but she stayed firm.  “I think having a Princess of Heart along would be helpful.”

Kairi’s grin widened, but Riku still looked thoughtful.

“Come on!”  She punched his shoulder playfully, though he jumped a little in surprise at the force of it.  “You’re supposed to be my Master, right?  I’ll learn a lot more from experience than from sitting around here.  That’s how you learned, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, I guess, but-“ His eyes darted to Aqua for a second.

“And you better not say it’s because I’m a girl, because she is too.”  Kairi folded her arms smugly.  Aqua chuckled.

“You know, I’m technically the senior Master here,” she said.  “And personally I think we could use more girl keyblade wielders.”

“Alright, alright,” Riku finally conceded, probably because he didn’t want to deal with a rant on sexism.  “But we’re about to be going somewhere very dangerous.  Be sure you have plenty of Potions and Curaga commands.”

“I will!  Thanks Riku!”  She threw her arms around him again, and was about to run back into the house, when she realized something.  “Oh.  If you weren’t planning on inviting me along, why did you stop by?”

“Aqua needs a place to stay tonight,” Riku explained.

“If it’s not too much trouble,” Aqua added, a little embarrassed.  If Riku hadn’t suggested it, she would have just camped on the beach, even if she had to do it alone.  Then again, maybe it was for the best that they not leave her alone again.

“Of course not!  It’ll be like a slumber party!”  Kairi beamed at her.  “You can come in now, if you want.”

She glanced back at Riku, who shrugged.  There wasn’t any more planning to be done tonight, she supposed.  “Sure, that’s fine with me.”

They waved bye to Riku and Aqua followed Kairi inside.  Her house was different from Riku’s - softer and older-looking, with lacy curtains, floral couches, and pale wooden floors.

“Thanks for sticking up for me back there.”  Kairi smiled as she led Aqua up a creaky staircase.  “I‘m sure I could’ve convinced Riku eventually, but it would have taken me a lot longer.”

“It’s no trouble.”  She smiled back.  “We’re all stronger when we’re together.”  If only she had realized that before, when Ven had wanted to travel with her.  But she’d only been trying to follow the Master’s orders; she couldn’t have known how much more danger she was putting him in by leaving him alone.

“I hope so.  I want to keep training, but I don’t want to hold the rest of you back.”  Kairi pushed open a door, leading into a tidy pink-walled bedroom.  She sat down on the edge of the bed and patted the spot beside her for Aqua to sit.

“You won’t be,” she assured her, taking the invitation to sit.  “I meant it when I said we could use a Princess of Heart on our side.  Our team could use a little more light to balance us out.”

“Well… I don’t know about that.”  She brushed a lock of red hair behind her ear.  “I’d like to go visit the other Princesses sometime and learn how to use those powers, but I haven’t had the chance yet.”

“I didn’t mean that,” Aqua clarified.  “I just meant… well.” Now that she realized what she _did_ mean, it was difficult to admit out loud, especially considering she still didn’t know Kairi that well.  She cleared her throat.  “ _I_ could use a little more light to balance me out.  Riku and Lea have been able to help me fight the darkness, but I thought you might be able to show me how to strengthen my light.”

Kairi blinked.  “You wanted to learn from me?  But you’re a Keyblade Master.”

Aqua laughed a little and shook her head.  “Becoming a Master has only taught me how much I still need to learn.”

“I guess I could see that,” Kairi replied thoughtfully, then smiled.  “I’m not much of a teacher, but I’ll try my best.  What do you want to know?”

What did she want to know?  It was only when faced with such an obvious question that Aqua realized how ridiculous her idea was.  What about light could be taught?  It was something you felt, something that grew inside you.  There she’d gone again, looking for another secret when she knew there was none.  She couldn’t just become a Princess of Heart.

She sighed, eyes downcast.  “I don’t know.  I just… I wish I could be like you.”

“Why?”  Kairi asked, trying to understand.  “There’s not much to being a Princess of Heart, really.  People try to kidnap you, mostly.”

That got a little chuckle out of Aqua, though she immediately felt guilty for it.  It was easy to forget what Kairi had been through.  “But you don’t have to worry about darkness, right?  What does that feel like?”

She rubbed her arm and shrugged.  “I wouldn’t know.  I was born that way, wasn’t I?”  She was; Aqua could vouch for that.  Her light had been just as strong as a child as it was now.  She continued, “But I think I feel just like everyone else.  I still get angry sometimes.  I still feel scared.  I don’t think that’s darkness; I think it’s just being human.”

Aqua thought about that, thought about Ven.  He had been like an artificial Prince of Heart, in a way, and he had been angry and scared and hurt plenty of times.  Too many times.  “If that’s the case… then what does light even _do?”_ It came out more desperate than she meant it.  She had just spent so much time, so many years, learning about the importance of light, and of destroying darkness… but none of it made sense anymore.

“I don’t know for sure, but I think it’s what connects all of us.”  Kairi swung her legs and looked up at the ceiling.  “I think it’s how my letter found Sora, and how my heart found his when I was sleeping.  I think it’s what friendships are made of.”  She laughed a little.  “That sounds silly, doesn’t it?  I’m just thinking out loud.”

“No, I get it,” Aqua said, pulling out her Wayfinder.  “Our light… it’s what connects us.”  

The blue charm was glowing, as if in agreement with her words.  It had been doing that a lot recently; was it connecting with her newfound friends?

“Terra, Ven, Van… that means there’s still light in all of us.  No matter where you are.”  Her hand tightened around the warm Wayfinder.

“That looks a lot like my lucky charm,” Kairi noticed.  “You’re not from the Islands, though, are you?”

“No.  I’d just read about them in a legend.”  Aqua held it up to the window, so the red sunset filtered through it, turning the clear blue to a soft violet.  “I made one for each of my friends, so that we’ll always be connected.”

“Are you close to finding any of them yet?”  Kairi asked.  The eternal question.

“I hope so,” Aqua whispered.  “I really hope so.”

XXX

Spending the night with Kairi was more enjoyable than Aqua had expected.  They talked and made crafts - some origami keyblade designs Kairi had been working on in her spare time - for a while, and then Kairi asked if Aqua could teach her any new attacks, so they took a walk down to the beach as the last rays of sunset fell and the stars twinkled into view.  A few carefully placed Fire spells kept the night at bay while they practiced.  Though she tried not to show it, Kairi seemed a little disappointed that Aqua specialized in magic.  Kairi had a good grip of spells and was able to pick up Thundaga Shot and Magnega, two commands that had been beyond Merlin’s ability to teach, but she was far more excited to try out physical attacks.  Unfortunately, most of the physical commands that Aqua knew were either too basic to be interesting or were combined with too much magic for Kairi’s level.  The only one she was able to share was Barrier Surge.

“You would have liked Terra’s style, I think,” Aqua mused quietly, observing Kairi’s firm stance and solid strikes as she moved through a kata Riku had taught her.

“What was that?”  Kairi paused to ask.

“Oh, just thinking.  Here, if you change your stance just a little bit...”

Eventually they had to call it a night, mostly because they knew they’d regret it in the morning if they didn’t get some sleep.  Well, Kairi would; Aqua’s body still wasn’t quite adjusted to the normal cycle of day and night.  She thought she would hate the darkness of night after spending so long in it, but she found the starlit beach just as peaceful as her former midnight walks in the Land of Departure.  It was almost like old times.

By the time they arrived at Kairi’s house, her parents were home but asleep, but someone had left dinner in the refrigerator for them.  Well, for Kairi, but she generously split her portion with Aqua.

“Won’t your parents be worried about a stranger sleeping over in their house?” Aqua asked later as Kairi rolled out a sleeping bag on the floor.

“I’ll explain in the morning,” she said.  “They’re always relaxed about me and Selphie having sleepovers.  They might even be glad I’ve found another friend who’s a girl; there aren’t many other girls my age on the islands.”

“Well… if you’re sure,” Aqua conceded.  Kairi had insisted she take the bed, despite her protests the floor would be just fine, so she slipped off her boots and into the covers.  She was instantly grateful for Kairi’s generosity - the mattress was much softer than any in Castle Oblivion, or any she’d slept on since returning to the Realm of Light, for that matter.

Kairi switched off the lights and snuggled into her sleeping bag, but Aqua could still see her smile in the dim moonlight.  “Thanks for everything today, Aqua.”

“It was a pleasure.  You’re going to make a great Keyblade Master one day.” Her smile was bittersweet; part of her wished in spite of everything that Kairi could have been her apprentice.

“Thanks.  That means a lot.” She rolled over so she could face Aqua better.  “And thanks again for letting me come with you.  I’ve wanted to help my friends for so long, I almost never thought it would actually happen.”

“I could almost say the same thing,” Aqua murmured to herself. Then, louder, “I think you’ve helped them already.  Riku and Lea speak very highly of you.”

“I’m sure they do, and that’s great, but it’s not the same as _being_ there with them, you know?” Kairi sighed.

“In that case, you’ve at least helped me. I think today is the most I’ve been able to relax in a long time.”  She yawned deeply, as if her body wanted to prove it.

Kairi laughed a little, but then it turned into a yawn too.  “Well… you’re welcome.  I guess we’d better get some sleep, huh?”

“Yeah.  Big day tomorrow.”  Aqua smiled as she closed her eyes.  “Goodnight, Kairi.”

“Night, Aqua.”

She heard Kairi roll over, and short minutes later came the steady sound of breathing.  In spite of her body’s fatigue, though, Aqua found her mind wasn’t quite ready to turn off.  Maybe it was the anticipation of going to the World That Never Was; maybe it was her usual worry over Van and Terra and Ven.  A combination of all those, probably.  Meeting Terra’s armor had stirred her heart in a way she still hadn’t quite recovered from.  Hope and despair mixed together, like agitated oil and water, never able to break free of each other.

_Terra will be alright,_ she told herself.   _I’m not abandoning him.  I’ll be back as soon as I can save Van…_

If Van was even alive. It was easy enough to keep up hope in the daylight, with the distraction of pressing forward, but when she was alone with her fears…

There was no point in wondering.  One way or another, she would find a way back to the Realm of Darkness, and then she would know.

She rolled over in Kairi’s bed and felt something sharp poke her hip.  Her Wayfinder; it did that sometimes if she wasn’t careful.  She unlooped it and held it up, as if she would see something other than darkness through its blue glass.

“An unbreakable connection,” she found herself whispering.  “Wherever you are, Van, I’m always with you.”  

Maybe for the first time, she realized that wasn’t just because of their Wayfinders.  Like Kairi had said - light was a connection.  He had found his light, and she still had hers.  That was how she knew she would find a way.

She was about to tuck the charm away again when it began to glow.  Dimly, at first, like a star shielded by clouds.  As she squinted, it grew brighter, until she was afraid it might wake Kairi.  She pulled the blanket up over her head to keep in the light.

The glow pulsed gently, and then, like a whisper…

_“I love you, Aqua.  I miss you…”_

She gasped, peeking out from under the covers.  Kairi was still asleep, her back rising and falling steadily with each unconscious breath.  There was no other source for those words but the charm she held in her hands.

“Impossible,” she whispered as water clouded her eyes, fragmenting the Wayfinder’s light across her vision.  “Van… is that you?  Can you hear me?”

Her breath hung in her lungs.  She waited, heart strung out with the seconds, beating in time with the pulsing glow.  Then each pulse grew dimmer and dimmer, weaker and weaker, until finally the room was as dark as before.

Her hands shook.  Slowly she emerged from covers, sitting up, resting the Wayfinder in her lap.  She stared at it as if with new eyes.

“Am I already asleep?  Is this all a dream…?”  She bit her tongue, as if the pain could prove her reality.  She had felt pain in enough dreams to know that wasn’t true.  “Van…”

It had been his voice.  Quiet and whispering as it was, she would recognize it anywhere.  Those words, though… she could hardly imagine, hardly hope, that he would say them.

“But I want to,” she murmured.  “I want to believe…”

_“Someone once told me… there’s power in just believing…”_ She remembered Terra’s words.  She had been believing, she had been hoping, that Van was still alive - but it was a fragile hope.  Now, when there was evidence to justify it, would she disregard it?

She let the tears flow freely, but for once, they were tears of happiness.  She pressed the Wayfinder to her lips and whispered back.

“I love you too, Van.  I’ll be there soon.”


	14. Sleep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey look what I finally decided to update! :D Sorry this has taken so long!

“Look who finally decided to show up,” Kairi teased lightly, pointing to the shore where Lea and Riku were just now rowing in.

“And they say girls take forever to get ready.”  Aqua smiled.  Mostly she was just relieved; she had expected the two boys half an hour ago, and Riku didn’t seem the type to be late without a good reason.  She and Kairi had passed the time by building sandcastles and training a bit more.

They jogged over to the shoreline, where Lea was already flopping out of the small wooden boat, looking just as sick as he had the first time he’d ridden in it.  Kairi covered her mouth to hide a laugh when her eyes landed on his new outfit.

“Riku, _please_ tell me you didn’t let him wear that.”

Riku stepped out of the boat and shrugged.  “Believe me, I tried to talk him out of it.  He wouldn’t take the clothes back, and I wasn’t about to loan him any more munny.”

“Hey, they’re _fine,”_ Lea insisted, standing up and brushing the sand off of his shirt - a bright orange tank top with a paopu fruit logo on the front.  “It was the first thing I saw that didn’t have flowers all over it.”

“Alright, but… green shorts too?”  Aqua asked through a laugh.  Lea crossed his arms.

“They’re swim trunks!  In case Riku knocked us both into the ocean on the way over.”

At least he was wearing tennis shoes, instead of, for example, beach sandals.  He would still be able to fight in those if it came down to that.  Imagining him battling Heartless or whatever else they ran into in the Realm of Sleep made her laugh again, which then led to Kairi giggling too.

“Alright, alright,” Riku said.  “You can make fun of him on the gummi ship. We’re late enough since he slept in.”

“Hey, you slept in too…!”

“Right.”  Aqua coughed, ignoring Lea’s protest.  What had gotten into her?  Laughing so freely… this short time with Kairi had helped her, but it wasn’t just that.  At least some of her laughter came from trying to release the tension building in her chest.  She still had no idea what challenges they would face in the Realm of Sleep.

 _Well, I’ll find out soon enough._ Dangerous as Riku made it sound, it couldn’t be worse than the Realm of Darkness.  Could it?

She made small talk with Kairi on the flight to the Mysterious Tower, but her mind was elsewhere.  She tried to keep it focused on positive thoughts.  This could be it: the last obstacle between her and rescuing Van.  The last thing between her and knowing if those words she’d heard last night had really been his.

_“I love you, Aqua.  I miss you…”_

“Aqua?  Are you alright?”  Kairi asked.

“Hmm?  Oh, yes, I’m fine…”  She relaxed her grip on her Wayfinder, which had been so tight she’d lost some feeling in her hand.

“It’s okay.  We’ll find your friend.”  Kairi smiled.  “I’ve got a good feeling about this.”

Well, that made one of them.

By the time Riku landed them in front of the Tower, Aqua’s nerves were wound tight.  She jumped when Lea clapped a hand on her shoulder.

“Don’t let Riku freak you out.  I bet all the Norts have cleared out of there by now.”  He gave what was probably supposed to be a reassuring smile.  She would have been more reassured if he hadn’t said anything.

She forced a smile - a grimace, really - and followed him out of the gummi ship.

XXX

“You intend to return to the World That Never Was.” Yen Sid clasped his hands on top of his desk.  “I do not believe this is wise.”

“Please,” Aqua replied.  “It’s the only idea we have left.  If my keyblade armor is anywhere, it has to be there.”

The old sorcerer frowned thoughtfully.  Or maybe he was just frowning because he still thought the plan was _unwise._ She knew it would be dangerous; so did Riku, Lea, and Kairi.  They had all willingly agreed - volunteered, even.  But if Yen Sid wouldn’t send them to the Realm of Sleep, their support would all be for nothing.

“I cannot afford to send all of you.  If something were to go wrong, four keyblade wielders is too many to lose.”

“I have to go,” Riku said.  “I’m the one who knows the Realm of Sleep best.”

“And _I_ know the World That Never Was,” Lea added.  Yen Sid raised an eyebrow at him.  He’d been standing in the back, but now the sorcerer got a look at his clashing clothes.

“You will not be going anywhere in those garments.”

Lea smirked.  “So then if I change, I can go?”

Kairi, who had been standing in the back near Lea, frowned.  “I’ll be the one left behind again, won’t I?”

No one replied.  Riku rubbed the back of his neck.  As much as she wanted to, Aqua couldn’t argue for her; it seemed it would be difficult enough to convince Yen Sid to transport them at all.

“I’m sorry,” she eventually said to Kairi, who sighed.

“It’s fine.  This is about your friend, anyway, not about me.”  She forced a little smile, which Aqua returned guiltily.

 _This is why you’re the Princess of Heart.  You’re the most selfless out of all of us_.  Aqua herself wouldn’t have given up so easily.

“Very well.  Master Aqua, Master Riku, and Lea.”  Yen Sid inspected each of them in turn.  “Are you sure you are sufficiently prepared?”

They met each others’ eyes and nodded.

“Yes,” Aqua answered.

“Ready as we can be.”  Lea shrugged.  “Unless you’re actually going to get me some new clothes.”

“That will be taken care of when you arrive,” Yen Sid replied.  “Keep your wits about you.”  He closed his eyes and stretched out his hand.  

That was their only warning before sleep took them.

XXX

Aqua’s stomach somersaulted; her hair whipped about her face.  Fractured shapes flashed past, blue and grey and black.  Panicked, her first thought was that she was falling back into the Realm of Darkness.

“Stay together!” Riku called from below her.  He was falling too, but he’d turned so he was facing her.  Oddly, she noticed that his clothes had changed, and… did he look younger?  “We’ll be in the World That Never Was soon!”

“Ugh, I hate this part…” She heard Lea’s voice groan from above. Hopefully he wouldn’t lose his lunch on her.

“We’re coming up on some buildings; follow my lead!” Riku shouted to be heard above the wind.

Sure enough, blocky grey shapes quickly rose up to meet them.  Riku rolled over in midair, giving himself plenty of time and room to dodge the impending buildings.  It was a good thing he did - it took Aqua several seconds to figure out how to mimic his motion; she ended up having to propel herself with a small burst of Aero.

“Spread your arms if you’re falling too fast!”  Riku called.

“Agh…!” Lea sputtered overhead.  Aqua didn’t dare try to look up at him - she didn’t have that much control over her fall.  But she did have enough control to spread out her limbs, and the air did the rest.  She hovered just long enough for Lea to collide with her.

“Hey-!”  He shouted, but she just grabbed hold of his sleeve - he had sleeves again? - and pulled him to her side.

“It’ll be easier if we stick together,” she said over the rush of wind.  

He nodded.  He wasn’t wearing the awful outfit he’d bought on Destiny Islands anymore; he was back in his black coat.  She briefly panicked that this place had changed her clothes too, but she felt the tight belt around her waist, the dark veins protecting her skin.  Did Yen Sid leave her suit alone on purpose?

That was the least of her concerns right now - more buildings were emerging from the void below.  That was what it looked like, at least, now that her stomach had mostly acclimated to the sensation of falling.

“Stop flailing,” she told Lea, whose panicked movements were sending them closer to the grey shapes.

“I’m not _trying_ to,” he said.  “If we could just corridor in like _sane_ people…”

“Just hold onto me,” she said, letting go of his sleeve to grab his hand instead.  “I can steer us with magic.”

He nodded, though his face was still a little green.  “Do your thing, Miss Keyblade Master.”

“Incoming!”  Riku shouted from below.  Aqua saw what he meant - they were now falling towards a maze of disklike shapes, each with a hole that they would barely fit through.

Lea groaned, but Aqua just took a deep breath.  It was refreshing to be up against a problem that wasn’t a product of her own heart for once.

They dove into the labyrinth, Aqua adjusting their course with delicate Aero spells.  Wind may not have been her strongest element, but when it came to skill, she could manipulate just about any kind of magic to her will.

They made it through unscathed, unless she counted the pins and needles in her hand where Lea had squeezed it numb.  He let out a sigh of relief and opened his eyes.  It was probably best that they’d been closed; he hadn’t seen just how close they’d been to splatting against the walls.

“Good work!  We’re almost there!”  Riku said.  “Get ready!”

“What?”  Aqua called.  “I don’t see anywhere to-”

Suddenly he vanished - there one second, then gone without a trace.  Lea wasn’t freaking out this time, though, so she remained calm.  Seconds later, they fell through the same rift in space that Riku had disappeared through.

Her stomach lurched again as their fall slowed dramatically.  Then their feet finally touched down on solid ground.  Lea breathed a sigh of relief.

“Home, sweet home.”  He cracked a grin, gesturing to the empty hallway before them.  “Gotta say, the Norts really let this place go.”

“It looks even worse than when I came here last time.”  Riku frowned.  He _did_ look younger; why had this place done that to him, but not Lea?  Did _she_ look younger?  She surveyed their surroundings, looking for a pane of glass or something she might catch her reflection in.  

No luck there.  They’d landed on some sort of balcony made out of the same fractaled grey material as the obstacles they’d fallen past.  Behind them floated more building-debris.  Aqua wasn’t sure what she’d been expecting from a place called The World That Never Was - maybe something like the broken, floating ground in certain parts of the Realm of Darkness.  This place, while distorted-looking, still looked as if it had once been built by someone - or some _thing_.  It couldn’t have been created naturally.

Before she could ask if they had a plan, she heard animal calls echoing from down the hallway.  Lea summoned his keyblade, but Riku perked up at the sound.

“Wait,” he said, holding up a hand.

Suddenly two rainbow-colored  monsters came bounding down the hallway - one shaped like a lion, another like a _t-rex,_ of all things.  They looked even stranger than the Unversed and Heartless put together. Aqua was tempted to summon her keyblade like Lea, but Riku just smiled.

“It’s okay.  They’re the good kind.”

“These are the Dream Eaters you were talking about,” Aqua realized as the lion nuzzled Riku and purred.  “The ones Drizzle reminded you of.”

“Yeah.”  Riku pet the lion between its ears, then scratched the dinosaur under its chin when it growled jealously.  “This is Fang, and the lion is… Roary.”  He winced.  “Sora named him.”

Aqua chuckled.  She could imagine Ven picking out a name like that.  

“I’m glad they found you again,” she said.  If only Drizzle could come back so easily… She looked around, as if the Realm of Sleep could bring him back to life, ridiculous as the thought was.

“Yeah, good for you,” Lea said to Riku.  “Can we get on with this?”

He nodded somberly.  “Right.  Did you have a specific room in mind, or should we just search the whole castle?”

“Well, Xemnas always liked lording it up on the roof…”  Lea looked up, ruffling his hair.  “I don’t know how much is left of it now, though.”

“It’s worth a try,” Aqua said.  If searching this whole castle took half as long as searching the one in Radiant Garden, they could be here for days.  Hopefully having a starting place could shorten that time.

“Alright.  Be sure to stay together, just in case.”

 _In case Xehanort is here,_ Aqua read between the lines.  After taking it easy on Destiny Islands, she was feeling back to her usual strength, but she still didn’t want to run into the evil Master in any shape or form.  Most of her didn’t, anyway - there was still the dark side of her heart that wanted a fight, just so she could ram her keyblade through him.

_There will be time for that.  But not yet.  Van needs me more._

She followed Lea and Riku’s lead, with the two Dream Eaters guarding their flanks.  The bad kind of Dream Eaters - Nightmares, Riku called them - showed up from time to time, but they weren’t too much harder to take out than Heartless.  Every once in a while the path in front of them had crumbled away or was blocked with debris, and Lea had to work out a new route.  She followed in silence, not voicing the worries she felt - that there might not be a way up, that the skewed walls might collapse on top of them, that she couldn’t help feeling like she was a rat trapped in a maze.

 _Don’t think like that.  This isn’t the Realm of Darkness; Riku can get us out if we need to._ Outside shattered windows, she caught glimpses of city lights far below.  Their glow was distorted by a swirling layer of silvery fog.

_Fog.  Not smoke, not mist.  Not the Dark Wind…_

She jumped a foot when the next mob of Nightmares appeared, then chided herself.   _Riku and Lea are handling themselves, and they’ve both faced horrors here before.  They came back here to help me; the least I can do is stay strong for them. And for Van._

The thought of him counting on her helped her focus.  The fears in her head were nothing compared to the physical ones he was facing in the Realm of Darkness.

Fighting off the Dream Eaters helped release some of her nervous energy, but it built up steadily as they continued walking in silence.  She kept her thoughts on Van to distract herself.  Still, the echoes of their footsteps played tricks on her mind; she imagined she could hear someone following them.

“Do you think we’re close?”  Aqua finally asked, making Lea jump.

“Yeah,” he answered quickly.  “Long as the next few halls aren’t too busted up.”

She nodded.  Hopefully her armor would be there, or else… well, they would just have to keep searching this hollow castle, no matter how much it unnerved her.

Thankfully, the next few hallways were intact, though the floor was skewed so that it felt like the whole castle was tilting sideways.  Aqua’s heart beat faster as they climbed a crumbling set of stairs.  She took them two at a time, outpacing Lea, Riku, and the two Dream Eaters.

“Aqua, wait-” Riku called, but she was already near the top.

_Please, please, just this once, don’t let my hope be in vain…_

At the top of the stairs, she stopped cold.  Her armor wasn’t on this weathered roof.  But something - _someone_ \- was.  He stood on the opposite end of the long space, his back to her.  The black coat he wore was unfamiliar, but the silver hair flowing over his shoulders gave her a clue of who he might be.

“Xehanort,” she whispered, her hands tightening around Master Keeper.  Lea and Riku burst out from the stairs behind her.  They didn’t waste time showing surprise before baring their weapons too.

The silver-haired man slowly turned.

“Indeed, you could use that name.”  The man smiled, gold eyes glinting in the ambient light.  “Yet it is not the one I would expect to hear from you… Aqua.”

Her breath caught.  She shouldn’t be surprised - Terra’s armor had warned her of his current fate.

“ _Terra?”_ She still couldn’t help asking.  Couldn’t help taking a step closer, squinting across the space between them.  Despite his golden eyes and twelve extra years of age, she would recognize her friend’s face anywhere.

_Terra… what has Xehanort done to you…?_

“Don’t let him fool you, Aqua,” Riku said while turning an angry glare on the man.  “That’s Xemnas.  One of Xehanort’s vessels.”

“And my old boss,” Lea said, his face hard as flint.  He called towards Xemnas, “You take one step closer, and I’ll see what this new keyblade looks like sticking through your chest.”

“Please, Lea…”  How could Aqua explain it?  This might be Xehanort, or Xemnas, or whoever, but he _still had Terra’s face._ What if part of Terra was still in him?  Terra’s armor hadn’t been able to stay fully conscious forever.  If this Xemnas died, what if the rest of Terra - the parts he needed to come back - were lost forever?

“I doubt that my friend would allow that to happen.”  Xemnas’s smile almost looked sincere. “Isn’t that right, Aqua?”

“I…”  She looked between him and Lea, who was staring at her like she was crazy.  But all she could think of was her nightmare - the one where she’d killed Terra, thinking he was still Xehanort.  The one where she’d been wrong.  Could she really risk that again?

“We’re not going to fall for your taunts.  What do you really want?”  Riku shouted at him.

Xemnas stepped forward.  Riku held out a hand, blocking Lea from charging.

“I would like to speak with my friend.  I believe I have something that belongs to her.”

He stretched out his hand, and just like that, her keyblade and armor materialized on the ground.   _Her_ keyblade - Stormfall.  It wasn’t an illusion; she could feel its connection to her.  When she tried to summon it to her hand, though, it wouldn’t come.  She would have to make physical contact with it again first.

“Don’t,” Riku warned.  “It’s a trap.  It has to be.”

“Can I just kill him now?”  Lea asked.  “Then we can grab the armor and run.”

“You can’t kill him!  Would you kill Sora or Roxas if they were being controlled by Xehanort?”

“No,” Riku answered reluctantly, at the same time Lea looked away.

“I am surprised to find you’ve allied yourself with those two,” Xemnas said.  “Both have betrayed those closest to them in the past.  _That_ one in particular is the greatest traitor of them all.”

Lea sneered in the face of Xemnas’s scowl.  “Sure, _I’m_ the traitor.  I’m not the one who lied and told a bunch of clueless saps that they didn’t have hearts!”

“It was not a lie to most.  Take your Saix, for instance.  He was the most empty of us all.  A perfect candidate for one of my vessels.”

“His name is _Isa!”_ Lea shouted, flames dancing down the length of his keyblade.  “He’ll never be one of you!”

Xemnas shook his head with a small chuckle.  “You are still a fool, Axel.  Always chasing after illusions of things that never were.  Saix joined us quite willingly.”

_“Shut up!”_

Aqua had no time to try to stop him.  Lea shoved past Riku and charged towards Xemnas, keyblade bared and wreathed in flames.

“ _Lea!”_ Aqua started after him, but Riku grabbed her arm.

“We need to get out of here.  Xemnas was waiting on us.  We’re giving him what he wants.”

“We can’t leave Lea!”  And she couldn’t let him kill Xemnas.  The man wasn’t her friend, but if there was the chance he still held parts of Terra, she couldn’t let him be destroyed.

“I’d say you can’t leave at all.”

Aqua gasped and spun around.  Standing on the steps behind them was a face she had never expected to see again: the eyepatched man who had fought alongside Xehanort at the Keyblade Graveyard.  And next to him, someone she didn’t recognize - a man with blue hair and an X-shaped scar on the bridge of his nose.

“ _You!”_ Aqua bared her keyblade.  This man she could kill and have no qualms about it.

He laughed.  “The name’s Xigbar, Bluebird.  So what are you gonna do?  Stay here and pick a fight with me, or keep Flamsilocks from incinerating your poor little Terra?”

Aqua’s stance wavered, but she resisted the urge to glance back at Xemnas.

“I can take care of them,” Riku said.  There was only one of him, though, and there were two of these black-coated lunatics.

“No. I think I’ve got time for both,” she sneered at Xigbar, steadying her blade.  Riku took up his battle stance - the one that looked just like Van’s - beside her.

Then all hell broke loose.

In a blink, Xigbar summoned two guns to his hands and fired several shots right at Aqua’s chest.  She staggered back and managed to block the rest of them, even reflecting a few of the purple projectiles back at the man.  Riku charged the blue-haired one, who stepped back and summoned some kind of giant backhanded sword.  Their blades clashed with the sound of grating metal.  Aqua had to trust that Riku could hold his own; the bullets wouldn’t let up long enough for her to help him.

“You’re gonna have to do better than that!”  Xigbar called at the same time the smell of smoke hit Aqua’s nose.  She grit her teeth and cast up a Barrier, then spared a glance behind her.

The other end of the roof was going up in flames.  She saw flickers of black moving within, the only proof that Lea and Xemnas were still alright.  Hopefully her keyblade and armor could withstand the heat too.

Her Barrier shattered; a few more bullets grazed her arm.

“Get your head out of the clouds, Bluebird!  Or you want to end up like your pal Terra over there?”  He grinned, leaving himself open while he magically reloaded his guns.

“That’s not Terra!”  She yelled, then cast Blizzaga towards him.  He teleported away, leaving his laugh hanging in the air.

“You didn’t sound so sure earlier,” he said from behind her.  She spun and struck him in the arm, but not before several more of his bullets struck her back.  Those stung more through her suit than they had through her armor.

 _If only I could get to it…_ but she couldn’t risk the flames, especially not with Xigbar attacking her from all sides.  She cartwheeled towards him and managed to land a few more blows before he teleported again.

“Stay still, you freak!”

He just laughed - this time while hovering upside down above her.  “You calling _me_ a freak?  As if!”

She cartwheeled away from his projectiles, then sprung up and launched a Triple Firaga towards him.  He cursed and teleported again, the edge of his coat singed.  That wouldn’t be the only thing singed if Xemnas and Lea’s battle continued.  Sweat drenched her under her suit.

“You seen yourself lately, Bluebird?  You look like you were taking fashion lessons from that punk the old coot kept on his leash.  What was that kid’s name again?”

Aqua growled, casting Thundaga and Ice Barrage in succession.  The second wasn’t as effective with the flames so near, but it still knocked Xigbar back a few steps.

“Van-something.  Vanilla?  Come on, give me a hand here.”

“What do I have to do to make you shut up!?”  She yelled, reflecting his projectiles back again.  That seemed to do more damage than her magic had, but still he kept shaking it off.  Desperate and furious, she kept raining spells around him, but her aim suffered as smoke and anger blurred her vision.

“Kill me, probably.”  He shrugged, dodging her Thundaga Shot.  “Just like you did with that kid, right?  For someone who’s supposed to be so light-happy, you sure don’t got a problem with murder.”

“I didn’t kill him!”  She screamed, releasing the largest burst of magic she could.  The aura enveloped them both, but he blocked most of it with his guns crossed in front of his face.

“Ooh, touchy, touchy!”  He laughed, downed a potion, and tossed the bottle aside.  The glass shattered against the ground, the fragments trembling in the heat.  It was only thanks to her suit’s protection that she wasn’t melting as well.  “You want to grow a conscience now?  Looks like you’re too late.”

He nodded towards her, resting one of his guns on his shoulder.  Surprised, she looked down at herself - and saw the darkness swirling around her.

“Didn’t think you had it in you, but I guess the boss was right after all.  You’ll make a good enough vessel.”

“No,” she whispered, turning over her hands, watching the dark energy curl around them.  All the anger, all the hate, all the fear - she’d released it.  She’d brought it upon herself.   _Again._ She had been too furious to feel the dark effects at first, but now its icy tendrils clawed their way through her veins, multiplying her terror.

“Hey, you should be happy!  You and Terra will get to be together again!  Now all we need is the sleeping kiddo.”

Aqua barely heard Xigbar’s words.  The darkness was rushing through her head, sounding like the crashing of waves.  Or the roar of fire. 

“Lea, you have to stop this!”  Riku yelled from somewhere across the battlefield; she couldn’t see him through the flames.  “You’ll get us all killed!”

“Heh.  As if.”  Xigbar chuckled.  “Us Norts can get out of here just fine.  And you can, too.  What do ya say?  Ready for a family reunion?”

“Like… like I’d ever join you!”  Aqua shouted, trying to bite back her darkness.  Take deep breaths - only she couldn’t, not without inhaling smoke and having a coughing fit.

“As if you’ve got a choice!  Actually, you do.  We can do this the easy way, and you get to keep some of your free will.  That’s what I did.  Or, we can take you kicking and screaming, and you can end up dead inside like X-Face over there.”  He gestured with his gun to somewhere behind him.

“You’re wrong,” she said, clenching her eyes shut.  A bad idea when facing an enemy, but they were burning from the smoke and from holding back tears.  “I won’t fall into the darkness again.  I will prove to you I’m stronger!”

She opened her eyes and leapt towards Xigbar, bringing her keyblade down in a powerful overhead blow.  It took him by surprise, enough that the hit connected with his skull for a moment before he teleported away.  He reappeared a few paces off, staggering.

“Heh… you’ve got spunk, Bluebird.”  He raised his guns and fired, but most of the bullets went wide.  The few that would’ve hit she reflected back at him, and he stumbled back, towards the edge of the flames.  “You should really pick the easy way.  It’d be a shame for the old man to suck your soul out.”

“Shut.   _Up!”_ She slid forward, still leaking darkness.  It didn’t matter now.  Nothing mattered, except getting rid of Xigbar, the man who had helped take her friends from her.

He raised his guns again - and she slammed the hilt of her blade down on his fingers.  He hissed in pain; the weapons fell and disappeared in a purple flash.  Then the teeth of her keyblade were at his neck, touching his skin, inching him closer to the flames.  

“You’re really going to kill me, aren’t you?” Xigbar said.  For once, his voice wasn’t taunting.  It wasn’t scared, either.  It wasn’t anything at all.

Violet energy swirled around Master Keeper’s shaft, splitting into tendrils that snaked out to hold Xigbar in place.

“Yes,” Aqua said, her voice cold.  Too cold.  Was this really her?  The thought was distant, barely formed.

Suddenly Xigbar grinned.  “Then that just means I did my job right.  See ya in hell, Bluebird.”

The bold words made her hesitate - but her darkness was already flowing, constricting Xigbar without her command.  It started to push him back into the fire.

_Wait, no… he needs to die, but… this is what he wants…?_

“Now would… be a good time… Xemnas!”

“What?”  Aqua spun - too late.  The silver-haired man was waiting for her, his hand outstretched.  Touching her darkness. 

Controlling it.

The dark force reversed, sending the tendrils back in on herself.  She screamed as they pierced through her suit, into her heart.  She collapsed to the burning ground.  Through it all, the image of glowing yellow eyes set in Terra’s face remained burned into her mind.  As did Xemnas’s last words.

“Welcome home, Aqua.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprised? I am. Xigbar wasn’t originally going to make an appearance here, but he does what he wants. Also, sorry for leaving Kairi out again. She really was going to be in here, but I couldn’t think of any way that they could convince Yen Sid to let her come. Oh, and I forgot to mention in the last chapter, but the idea that Kairi’s fighting style could be like Terra’s came from someone on tumblr who was talking about how Riku’s fighting style mirrors Aqua’s more. Anyway, I don’t take credit for that.
> 
> Should be one or two more chapters left, maybe three if you guys want to see the epilogue of CaS from Aqua’s POV. I haven’t decided on if that be worth it or not, right now I’m leaning towards not probably.


	15. The Final Union

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter comes to you courtesy of my blood, sweat, tears, and about ten minutes of screaming velociraptor noises. Enjoy

“Xemnas!”  Lea yelled.  “I’m not done with you yet!”

Where was he?  Just seconds ago he’d lobbed a chunk of building at Lea’s arm, and then suddenly he was gone.  Lea wanted to be optimistic, but he didn’t think he’d done enough damage to scare the other man off. No matter how he stoked the surrounding flames, Xemnas never seemed to feel the heat.

Thankfully, Lea didn’t either.  He stalked through them like a specter, searching for any sign of his ex-boss.  He caught a glimpse of movement, two figures locked in battle – was Riku fighting Xemnas now?  Lea ran towards them, but stopped short when he heard a voice from off to his right.

“Then that just means I did my job right.  See ya in hell, Bluebird.”

That voice – Lea cursed.  Apparently Xemnas wasn’t the only Nort here to crash the party.  

Hiding himself within the flames, Lea snuck around until he could see Xigbar without the other man seeing him.  Theoretically.  Even though he was missing an eye, Xigbar could snipe from distances longer than Lea could see.

But Xigbar had more than just Lea to worry about at the moment.  Aqua’s keyblade was pressed to his neck – and she was leaking darkness.

_Sometimes Riku uses darkness too,_ he thought.   _Maybe she has it under control this time_.  She looked like she was holding her own – winning, actually.  Maybe they could finally take out one of the Norts for good.

“Now would… be a good time… Xemnas!”

Lea knew he had a heart, because it froze at what he saw next.  The silver-haired man burst through the embers on the opposite side, then immediately started drawing on Aqua’s darkness.  Her scream pierced through the roar of the fire.  Trailing flames, Lea ran towards her – but not fast enough to intercept the dark tendrils.

“Welcome home, Aqua.”

Xemnas smiled as she collapsed.  What had he done?  Was she still breathing?  Lea was still too far away to tell.

“Hey, look alive!”  Xigbar shouted, pointing an arrowgun over Xemnas’s shoulder at Lea.

“How about you look _dead!”_ He snarled back.  Xigbar’s bullets whizzed past him, but Lea still wasn’t close enough to strike yet.  If only he still had his chakrams, he would just chuck them – _oh_ , _right._

He hurled his keyblade, and it spun through the air in the strongest Strike Raid he could muster.  The hilt struck Xemnas right in the back.  While he barely staggered, it was still enough to distract him from Aqua.

“Why must you always interfere?”  Xemnas asked, facing him.  Lea caught his keyblade as it returned.

“I promised my friends.  I’ll always be here to bring them back.”

Xigbar rubbed his neck, where Aqua’s blade had been moments before. “Right.  Like you were there when X-Face needed you?”

Lea grimaced, but didn’t rise to the taunt this time.  He had already fallen for Xemnas’s words; he wouldn’t make the same mistake twice.  Especially when that mistake might have just cost Aqua her life.

He shook off the thoughts, shook off the fears, and dashed forward.  He’d hoped to have a bit of surprise on his side, but now Xemnas was ready for him.  The man threw up a barrier; Lea’s momentum carried him into it face-first.

“Take care of the traitor,” Xemnas told Xigbar.  “It won’t be long now before Aqua’s heart succumbs fully.”

“Her heart _what_?”  Lea gaped as he recovered.  Spiderweb cracks distorted his view through the translucent barrier, but he still saw Xemnas bend down and brush Aqua’s hair back from her face.  Maybe it was a trick of the firelight, but one lock seemed to gleam silver.  “You – you Norted _her?”_

“Hey, the old coot’s an equal-opportunity employer.  He would’ve even Norted Larxene if she’d stuck around.”  Xigbar smirked.

Disgusting as the idea of a Larxanort was, them turning Aqua was still worse.  But from what Xemnas said, her heart wasn’t completely lost yet.  Lea still had a chance to save her.

He swung his keyblade like a baseball bat, and after a few strikes, Xemnas’s barrier shattered.  Lea raised an arm to block the light blue shards from his eyes.  When the remnants settled, Xemnas was surging forward, blades flashing so fast they left afterimages.

Lea leapt to the side in a desperate attempt to dodge, but his keyblade arm still took a glancing blow.  Hissing, he braced it with his other hand.  He tried to cast Cure, but his form was off; the small flash of green light flickered out.  The failed spell gave Xigbar an opening to pelt him with energy bullets – a whole barrage of them took him in the chest, knocking him back towards the growing inferno.

“Nice try, Flamsilocks!  But don’t worry, we’ll take good care of the girl for-”  Xigbar stopped mid-sentence, his single gold eye widening.  Lea coughed as he tried to suck in air.

“Like I’m... gonna fall for _that-”_

A primal roar sounded from behind him.  Acting on reflex, he dove out of the way and into the fringes of the flames.  From there he saw the source of the sound.

_“Isa?”_ Lea gaped.  His friend – once-friend – crashed across the battlefield.  Riku was in pursuit, though he looked in worse shape, with blood and ash staining his face and clothes.  One of his pant legs was on fire; he cast Blizzard at it to put it out.

“Lea-” He coughed, “Get rid of this fire already!”

It took a second to process the words – between Isa’s appearance, and Xemnas talking about Norting Aqua, and Xigbar now raising his arrowguns again.  But Riku was right; Lea’s flames weren’t doing enough to stop the Organization members.  He drew in a sharp breath and commanded the blaze to retreat.  He couldn’t make it disappear completely when it was so out of control, especially in his weakened state.  Instead he pushed the flames outwards, enlarging the ring of ring of fire so that it rimmed the roof’s perimeter.  What was left of it, anyway – Xemnas had used chunks of it as his projectiles.

“Would you prefer to fight Saix, Axel?”  Xemnas asked with a smirk.  “You cannot be pleased with Riku harming your friend.”

In spite of himself, Lea’s eyes were drawn to Riku and Saix’s battle.  Riku slid in with quick stabbing strikes; Saix retaliated with powerful backhanded blows.  He looked just as much the berserker as he ever had beneath the full moon, but there was no light of Kingdom Hearts here.  Where was he getting his power now?  Xehanort?

“ _Riku_ is my friend,” Lea finally replied, brandishing his keyblade in spite of his injured arm.  “I don’t know what you did to Isa, but that’s not him.”

Just like how Xemnas was no longer the friend Aqua remembered, this Saix was not Isa.  As much as his heart still wanted to try to reach his friend, he couldn’t make the same mistake she had.  It would just lead to all of them getting killed.

“Heh, so much for always being there to bring ‘em back.”  Xigbar chuckled and reloaded his arrowguns.  Meanwhile, Xemnas created a boxlike energy barrier around Aqua.  At least she wouldn’t get caught in the crossfire that way, but Lea wondered just how long he had before her heart would be lost forever.

As he charged back into battle, he hoped he wouldn’t have to find out.

XXX

_Cold… so, so cold…_ Aqua couldn’t register anything but the freezing sensation that had taken her over.  Her limbs might as well have been disconnected from her body; her skin might have turned to ice.  She would shatter at the lightest touch.

_What… what happened to me…?_ The question eventually pierced through, once the cold had finally made her numb.  Too numb for pain, too numb to remember. 

But she _needed_ to remember.  There was something… something important…  She tried to sit up from where she was lying on the ground, but her body wouldn’t respond even to that small command.

“Go back to sleep,” a sickly-sweet voice said.  The stimulus shocked her, and she opened her eyes – or at least, she felt like she did, but she still only saw blackness.

“You won’t have to worry about anything soon,” the voice continued.  Not just any voice – _her_ voice.

Aqua knew where she was.

_Get… get out of my heart!_ She wanted to shout, but her lips wouldn’t move.  Her mouth might as well be frozen shut.

Her reflection – the black-haired, golden-eyed version of herself – leaned over her.

“ _You_ should be the one getting out.  Not that you can.  You’ll be trapped in here forever once Xehanort gets ahold of you.”

It was then that Aqua noticed something different about the reflection – one streak of silver shined in the center of her bangs.

“It’s started already,” the dark Aqua said, fingering that silver lock and frowning.

“This is… your fault,” Aqua choked out through cracked lips.  “The darkness… let him in…”

“ _My_ fault?”  Her reflection snorted.  “I’m a part of our mind.  You might as well blame yourself.”

She _did_ blame herself.  But arguing about that would be useless.  She had to get out of here; she had to wake up.  But how?  Last time, Riku had saved her, but she couldn’t count on that happening twice.

“There _is_ no waking up,” the copy said, reading her mind.  Their mind.  “Once the fragment of  Xehanort’s heart breaks this pillar, we’re stuck here.  Forever.”

”Then I’ll have to wake up… before then.”  Exerting all her strength, Aqua dragged her hand up to her chest and cast Cura.  The numbness receded a little, leaving pain in its place.  But Aqua had pushed through pain before, and she would again.  Her reflection jumped back as she struggled to her feet.

“And just how do you plan on doing that?”  The dark reflection asked.  Aqua glared in determination.

“By defeating you.”

XXX

Riku hadn’t fought a battle that lasted this long since his Mark of Mastery Exam.  Saix cycled between calm, controlled phases and berserk rage; no matter how much damage Riku inflicted, the man shook it off by the time the next cycle came around.

Right now, that cycle was set on rage.  Riku rolled out of the way of his claymore, nearly ending up in the flames again.  His clothing, while made for the Dream Worlds, was much less fireproof than the Organization coats.  Bulky and stifling as those things were, Riku missed his.

Saix crashed across the battlefield, busting more craters into the already-demolished roof.  At this phase, it was more practical for Riku to keep dodging than to try to attack.  While rolling out of the way, he caught glimpses of Lea fighting Xemnas and Xigbar.  For a novice keyblade wielder, the man didn’t seem to be doing too bad – but he wasn’t doing too good, either.  He’d switched his blade to his left hand; the other hung limply at his side.

Saix’s claymore clipped Riku’s foot, bringing his attention back to the fight at hand.  Lea would just have to take care of himself.

_But they already took down Aqua…_ That didn’t bode well for their chances of winning.  She was the oldest Master he knew besides Yen Sid, having passed her Mark even before Mickey, the King had said.  Riku had seen a few of her spells, and they certainly seemed powerful.  How had Xemnas and Xigbar taken her down so easily?

He forced the thoughts aside when Saix finally slumped, his berserk rage worn out.  That would give Riku a few seconds to attack again before –

A wall of flames sprouted up beside him, the heat searing his exposed skin.   _I’ve got to start getting clothes with sleeves._

“Riku!”  Lea called, suddenly jumping through the wall of fire.  Violet projectiles whizzed over his head, one taking Saix right in the center of his scar.  The blue-haired man staggered back as Lea stumbled over to Riku’s side.

“If you’re worried about me killing your friend, don’t be,” Riku said, spinning and holding up Way to Dawn to deflect more of the incoming energy bullets.  “I’m barely holding my own.”

“That’s not it.”  Lea stretched his arms out to his sides, widening the the barrier of fire and raising it higher so that it blocked the remaining projectiles.  Riku grimaced at the heat, but at least Lea was keeping it under control this time.  “We need to get Aqua out of here.  They’re trying to Nort her.”

_“What?”_

“You heard me.  Any chance we can grab her and Drop out of here?”

Riku shook his head.  “She’s already unconscious.  I can’t take someone out when they’re dreaming inside a dream.  Not without going back inside her heart again.”

Lea cursed.  “So we’ve gotta fight off these guys _and_ wake her up?”

“Unless you’ve got a better plan.”

At that moment, Saix came raging through the fire, pulling Riku back into focus.  As he moved to intercept the man, Lea called back the flames, revealing Xigbar and Xemnas closing in too.  Riku and Lea went back to back, facing the three members of the True Organization.

“A better plan.”  Lea laughed shakily.  “You up for some flexible thinking?”

XXX

Aqua skidded across the glassy ground, breathless after a hit from her reflection’s Thundaga Shot that had pierced right through her barrier.  She landed too close to the edge of the platform, which was just as unstable as the last time she’d been here.  Even more so – the pillar shook every few minutes, as if from the aftershocks of an earthquake.  Except aftershocks weren’t supposed to get stronger each time.

“Stop fighting already,” her reflection called through a sneer.  Even more silver streaked her black hair than before – Aqua was losing more than one fight here.  “Don’t you see?  I’m even stronger than before, and you couldn’t beat me then.  What makes you think you can beat me now?”

“Because…” Aqua winced, pushing herself up with Stormfall.  “I have to.”

The copy snorted.  “Why?”

“You’re a part of me.  You know why,” Aqua replied, stretching out her hand and casting Zero Graviga.  Her reflection floated in midair, writhing but unable to escape the magical field.

“There’s no one left for you to save!”  She yelled.  “And once Xehanort takes over, you’ll forget all about them!  We won’t have to worry anymore!”

Something about that wasn’t right.  Well, a lot of things weren’t – but one in particular.  Aqua frowned.

“You say that like _you’re_ worried about them.”

The copy dropped to the ground, landing on her feet.  Aqua had been too distracted by her words to take advantage of her vulnerability, and now the moment was lost.  Her reflection sprinted forward, locking her black Stormfall against Aqua’s grey and blue one.

“Would you believe me if I said I was?”

The comment took Aqua by surprise; her blade slipped.  The reflection shoved her back, but she turned the momentum into a quick cartwheel.  The platform rumbled, nearly throwing her off balance again.

“I wouldn’t.  You’re my darkness; you don’t care about anything.”

“Ouch, Aqua.”  The copy placed a hand over her heart.  As she did so, another lock of her hair bled from black to silver.  Aqua thought she saw her wince.  “Have you really learned so little?”

_She’s just trying to distract me,_ Aqua had to remind herself.   _I have to defeat her before Xehanort takes over._

She dashed back, dodging the darkness-laced orbs of her reflection’s Teleport Strike.  One was too fast; Aqua sliced through it instead, but still felt the energy crackle across her skin.

_If only I could distract her back…_

Aqua recovered in time to block another Thundaga Shot.  Her reflection seemed to be fond of that spell – interesting, since Aqua didn’t focus much on the Thunder element.  Maybe Xehanort was influencing her already.

“Tell me.  If Xehanort enters our heart, will you be trapped here too?”

The copy paused, leaving an opening for Aqua to cast Triple Firaga.  The first flame struck the reflection in the chest, though she blocked the next two.

“Just as trapped as I’ve always been,” she replied, though her brow was furrowed.  Maybe that was just from the effort of fending off the flames. 

“So you don’t care if he takes over our heart?”

“You just said I don’t care about anything.”  She swept Stormfall out in front of her, creating a wave of icicles that speared towards Aqua.  Despite her attempt to dodge, one caught her in the leg, freezing around it.

“I thought maybe you’d care about yourself,” she said to stall while trying to tug her leg free.

“How many times do I have to tell you?  We’re the same person.  If you don’t care about me, then why should I?”

Aqua frowned.  The copy’s logic wasn’t making sense, but at least the conversation was keeping her distracted.

“If we’re the same person, then you should care about destroying Xehanort, and keeping our friends safe.”

The reflection smiled, a sharp grin that looked wrong on her.  “I would care about those things.  But it’s too late.  We’ve already lost.”

Silver ate its way up another clump of her hair, making the copy shudder.  Aqua tried to hide a shudder of her own.

“No!  It’s _never_ too late!”  She yelled.  She slammed Stormfall against the ice, making it shatter and release her.

Her reflection laughed, but this time it was a weak sound, lacking any kind of malice.

“Sometimes, Aqua… there _isn’t_ always a way…”

XXX

“Flexible thinking?”  Riku asked over his shoulder.

“Uh-oh.  That’s code for Flamsilocks is gonna do something stupid.”  Xigbar grinned, raining down bullets over Lea, but Lea just reflected both the grin and the bullets back at him.

“Maybe something just stupid enough to work.”

Xemnas lunged forward, Ethereal Blades aimed at Lea’s neck, but the redhead raised his keyblade in his left arm to catch them.  The more important thing, however, was what he was doing with his injured arm.

“Lea-!”  Riku caught on, but not fast enough to stop him from doing the one thing he had been warned not to do:

Summon a dark corridor.

“You would run away?  Leaving your friends behind once more?” Xemnas asked.  Lea ducked as his blades of light slipped out of his block.  Luckily Riku had also dodged to the side to avoid a blow from Saix, or the Ethereal Blades would have taken off his head instead.

Xigbar teleported directly in front of the dark corridor.  “As if we’re gonna let you sneak off again.”

Lea smirked.  The dark corridor was pulsing oddly, at a higher frequency than usual.  That was bad for his Plan A, but you didn’t attempt flexible thinking without a Plan B.

“Hey, freaky wind Heartless!  Can you hear me?  These losers are trying to take your host body!”

“Lea – have you lost it!?”  Riku shouted.  Saix used his distraction to knock Riku across the roof, nearly into a crater.

“I always knew you there was something wrong with you, but-”

Xigbar didn’t have time to finish his mocking remark.  A hissing sound emanated from the portal.

_“Yesssss… our vessssel… sssshe isss near…!”_

Lea froze, his blood running cold in spite of the battlefield’s heat.  From Aqua’s description, he had expected the mist of darkness that was trying to filter out of the corridor.  He had not, however, gotten the memo that it could _talk._

“Okay… sure didn’t see _that_ one coming,” Xigbar muttered, rubbing his neck and stepping back from the portal.  Xemnas faced it, summoning an energy barrier to block it off.

“A noble attempt, but pitiful nonetheless.”

“ _Lea!”_ Riku shouted from across the roof, where he had gotten to his feet and was again battling Saix.  “Close that thing!  You have no idea what it could do!”

As Riku said it, Xemnas’s barrier began to crack.  Black smoke leaked through it, swirling towards him.

_“There issss no light in you...”_ The wind hissed as Xemnas leapt back.  “ _And the girl, her light isss being desssstroyed… yessss… perhapssss we will choossssse a new vesssssel…”_

“Uh, perhaps we _won’t.”_ Lea flicked his wrist, directing the corridor to close.  It resisted his command, as if the dark mist was trying to hold it open.  “Oh no you don’t…!”

The mist that had already made it through rushed towards him.  From behind it, Xigbar reloaded his guns and grinned.

“Look at that.  I knew you were gonna do something stupid, but this really takes the cake.”

Lea ignored him.  He held out his keyblade and cast Firaga.  The spell cut through the darkness, taking Xigbar in the face.  The man went down hard, his arrowguns vanishing into purple flashes of light. Unfortunately, that didn’t stop the smoke from coming for Lea.  

He crossed his arms over his face and braced for impact.

XXX

“ _Sometimes, Aqua… there_ isn’t _always a way...”_

Aqua’s reflection stepped forward, her boots crunching across the ice-crusted glass.  The platform shuddered, cracking even more of the ice.  At least, Aqua hoped it was just the ice.  With how brittle her heart felt, it could have easily been the glass below.

Though she kept a brave face, the copy’s words ate at her, just as surely as the darkness ate at the edges of the platform, sending them crumbling into the abyss.  The only way she’d gotten out of here before was because of Riku.  This time, she was facing not only her own darkness, but also Xehanort’s power.  Even Terra, one of the strongest people she knew, hadn’t been able to fight that.

“See, now you’re getting it,” the copy said, reading her mind again.  How did she keep doing that?

“Stop sounding so surprised.   _We are the same,_ Aqua.  I am as much you as you are.”  The reflection readied a spell, gathering violet darkness at the tip of her blade.  “At least, until Xehanort finishes his work with us.  Then neither of us will be Aqua.”

_She keeps saying we’re_ both _me.  If that’s true, then…_

The copy’s spell flickered out as her eyes widened.  She realized Aqua’s plan.  And if she looked that worried about it, that meant there was a chance it could work.

Aqua lowered her blade, instead pouring all of her focus into reaching her reflection’s thoughts.  It was like chasing the tail end of a dream after waking, diving into a part of her mind that she had never been fully conscious of.

“Aqua, don’t-!”

But it was too late.  She had connected to those dark thoughts, and now they swept over her in a tidal wave.  

_Hate it, hate it all, how could this happen, how could Xehanort do this to us? How could Terra kill the Master, how could Van leave me here, how could I let them all down? Hate them, hate myself, too weak, I’m no Master, should have let me die instead, going to die anyway – Xehanort didn’t kill me then, he’ll kill me now, all my friends are dead, Ven’s heart is gone, I’m the one who destroyed it, tried to kill Vanitas, he’ll never forgive me, he says he does but he can’t, he’s stealing my light – he’s the reason I hurt, hate him, no, hate myself for giving in –_

She screamed at the emotions, wishing in vain that she could create Unversed, anything to get these feelings out of her heart again.  Instead she released them as spells, blasting Mega Flare and Deep Freeze and Thundaga Shot across the surface of her dive platform.  The ground shook; she fell to her knees among shards of ice, the frozen pieces jabbing her through her suit.  Still she kept casting spells, trying to expel the darkness.

“Aqua, stop!  You’re going to kill us both!”  She heard her voice shout.

_Good!  Then I won’t have to feel this anymore!_

“You don’t mean that!  You’re our light!”

_I’m nothing!_ She screamed wordlessly, no longer able to cast spells, but with magic pouring off of her in waves.   _I’m… I’m…!_

Brightness broke through her closed eyelids.  The magic she was emanating – it was a bright, unmistakable white.   _Light._

“Light can destroy just as much as darkness.  You have to stop this!”

_Light… light can destroy…?_

The ground cracked beneath her.  That was what finally snapped her from her trance, snapped the connection between her and her dark half.  She reeled back, scrambling away from a section of glass as it crumbled to black dust.  The light drew back into her, leaving the platform in darkness.  She blinked rapidly and finally noticed the gaping holes in the floor of the pillar.

Her reflection was lying a few paces away, her hair almost fully silver now.

“No,” Aqua whispered.  Shaking off her dizziness and dodging the largest of the holes, she made her way to her dark half.

“Congratulations, Aqua,” she muttered.  “All you’ve done is break our heart further.  Now Xehanort will have no problem using us as his vessel.”

“No… this isn’t what I…” Aqua stammered.

“You wanted to kill me.  But _I’m you._ You just did Xehanort’s job for him.”  

The reflection’s eyes fluttered closed.  The ground rumbled in anger as her last lock of black hair succumbed to silver.  Aqua gasped as the remaining pieces of the platform began to crumble even faster, but there was nowhere to go, nowhere to run.  And it sounded like her only hope – fighting her dark half – had backfired.

Tears leaking from her eyes, she clung to her reflection as the glass platform finally crumbled completely.

“Sorry, Van… I guess I won’t be coming to save you after all...”

XXX

Lea crossed his arms over his face and braced for impact – but it never came.  Instead he heard the summoning of a blade, a flash of light through his closed eyelids.  He opened them in time to see a magical barrier surging towards the darkness.

“Aqua?”

The barrier shattered – but from the inside out.  The blast swept back the dark mist, driving it back towards the portal.  At the center of the shattering magic was a girl, but not the one he was expecting.

_“Kairi?”_ Lea gaped.

She flashed him a quick grin. “I knew you’d be helpless without me!”

“How kind of you to deliver yourself to us again,” Xemnas said, coming at her with his Ethereal Blades.

“I won’t be anyone’s prisoner this time!”  Kairi said as she cloaked herself in another barrier and met him head-on.

“Kairi!”  Lea called.  She might be a keyblade wielder, but that didn’t mean she was ready to fight _Xemnas._ “I’ll handle him!  Use your light-powers to get that mist back in the portal!”

A shockwave emanated from where Xemnas struck her shield, but she slid out of it and nodded, running towards the black mist.

_“Yessss… now_ there _is some light to desssstroy…”_

Lea wanted to help her, but currently he was occupied intercepting Xemnas.  At least Xigbar was knocked out, having taken that Firaga in the face.  And on top of that, Lea caught a glimpse of King Mickey helping Riku fight off Saix.

“Wish you two would’ve shown up earlier,” Lea said, throwing a left-handed strike raid and then ducking under Xemnas’s lasers.  One still caught the tip of his hair.

“Just be glad we showed up at all.”  Kairi called up another spherical shield, keeping out the dark mist.  Had Merlin taught her that?  Lea really did need to take his training more seriously. “Mickey could’ve been on the other side of the universe, but he came back to ask Yen Sid about that box.  If it weren’t for that, we wouldn’t be here.”

“I’ll be sure to thank him later.”  Lea grunted as he clashed his keyblade against Xemnas’s Ethereal Blades.  “Now can you take care of that darkness or not?”

“I’m trying!  Magic isn’t really my thing, you know!”  

“What do you mean?  You’re a Princess of Heart, aren’t you?”

Xemnas must have had more of a heart now than he did in the original Organization, because he scowled at Lea shouting so close to his face.  Maybe fighting by annoyance that could be his new battle strategy.

“Well it’s not like I’ve had to do this before!”  Kairi said.  Then Lea heard an explosion from her direction.

“Kairi!”  He looked back, leaving Xemnas with an opening to strike.  His left arm took the hit from the glowing blade.  His grip failed; his weapon clattered to the singed ground.

“Lea!  Close it now!”  From within the translucent barrier, Kairi had her arms outstretched, forcing out a powerful blast of light.  The mist writhed towards the portal, trying to flee it.

_“Thissss light…!  We cannot consssssume it…!”_

“I’m a Princess of Heart,” she told the mist.  “Your darkness can’t get to me.”

“Heck yeah it can’t.”  Lea grinned, jumped back from Xemnas’s combo, and flicked his wrist.  The dark corridor closed with one last angry hiss.

“This changes nothing,” Xemnas said, calmly continuing to force Lea back with long-ranged sweeps of his blades.  And Lea was no longer holding his keyblade.  Even if he were, his arms were in so much pain, he probably couldn’t do much with it.

“I think it changes a lot, actually,” Kairi replied, throwing a Strike Raid at the man’s back.  

_That’s my girl,_ Lea thought proudly.  Anger flickered in Xemnas’s gold eyes as he turned on her.

“Hmph.  We shall see.”

Kairi drew Xemnas away, allowing Lea to catch his breath and finally, _finally,_ pull off a successful Cure.  Then he summoned his blade back to his healing arms and dashed after them.

“You – will not – hurt – my friends – _again!”_ Kairi yelled, ending her combo with another blast of raw light.

“Get _that_ memorized.” Lea smirked and added his fire to her light.

Xemnas called up a chunk of ground, blocking the blast and then hurling it at the two of them.  Lea and Kairi were forced into a game of blocking and dodging the giant projectiles.

_He’s kept me on the defensive this whole fight,_ Lea realized.   _He’s just buying time!  We have to get Aqua out of here before –_

A cracking sound came from the center of the battlefield.  Xemnas let the last piece of building drop, crossing his arms and smiling smugly. Lea wished he could punch that look off his face.

“You are too late, Axel.  Your friend has become ours now.”

XXX

There was nothing.  Nothing above her, nothing below, nothing but the other version of herself Aqua clung to as if her life depended on it.  Which it very well might.  The other Aqua seemed to have fallen unconscious once the platform crumbled. Aqua didn’t know how she could still be awake herself.  By all she knew, her heart should be shattered beyond repair.

_Maybe… Xehanort still hasn’t reached me yet._

It was a futile hope.  In the ambient ethereal light, she could see pieces of her hair gleaming silver as it whipped around her face.  Most of the locks were still blue, but that wouldn’t last long at this rate.

_What happens when there’s no blue left?  Will I think like Xehanort?  Will I have any idea who I once was?_

_“Oh, you will know.”_

Her eyes widened at the new voice in her head.  Not the Dark Wind, but someone she knew would be even worse.  Master Xehanort himself.

_“That’s right.  Your heart will still be here, broken by your battle with the darkness.  From here you will watch as your body fights alongside my vessels in the Keyblade War!”_

“No!”  She shouted into the void.  

_“Yes.  But do not fear, girl.  At least you will be reunited with your friend, after all this time.”_

“Terra,” she whispered.  So the evil Master did still have him; maybe he really was inside the one Lea and Riku called Xemnas.  “He… he wouldn’t want this.  I have to stop you…”

Master Xehanort’s voice chuckled.   _“And how do you plan on doing that?”_

Aqua looked down, at where her reflection was sleeping with her eyes shut tight, her expression pained.  The darkness she’d tried to destroy.  But that was what had cracked her heart, allowing Xehanort in.  If that was the case, then…

_“You would accept your darkness?  Let it back into your heart?”_ Xehanort sounded genuinely surprised.  Of course he would – he only knew the old Aqua.  The one who would fight darkness with all her might, the one hewn from the same stone as her Master.

But now… now she was something else.  Someone with the strength to admit when she was wrong.  Someone with the strength to _change._

“Yes,” she whispered, the wind carrying away her words.  “I accept it.”

Her reflection’s lips twisted into a smile.  And that was when the pain began anew.

_Hate him, hate that I let this happen, so so weak – fighting myself, don’t want to accept it – too much pain, too much hurt, all the things I’ve done, failures, better to forget, to ignore –_

_No – no, I can do this._ She sucked in a deep breath, calming the flood of thoughts.   _I may have darkness, but I still have light!_

With a shout, Aqua called up her own memories.  The things she did want to remember.  The people she loved, the times she’d done right.  Passing her Mark of Mastery.  Hiding Ven’s body away.  Befriending Van.  She took all these memories and channeled them towards her reflection.

_“What is this?”_ Xehanort asked in confusion.

Her reflection’s eyes opened.  Still gold, but that didn’t matter right now – the silver was retreating from her hair, revealing her natural black.  Aqua smiled and held her tighter.

Their thoughts, their feelings, their memories – all blended as one.  The way she was meant to be.

“Now,” they whispered in unison.

Aqua released a beam of white light at the same moment her reflection released the darkness.  Instead of countering each other, the two beams spiraled together, streaking into the abyss above.

_“You always were a stubborn one,”_ Xehanort’s voice came, but it was strained.  

“Some things don’t change.”  Aqua smirked, but kept powering the spell.  As she did so, she felt a tension release from around her heart.

_“You can’t… defeat me here…”_

“That’s where you’re wrong.  This is _my_ heart, Xehanort.  You have no place here.”

Xehanort’s voice didn’t reply.  Aqua closed her eyes, pouring the last of her energy into the spell.  Finally both her and her reflection ran dry, their magical beams fading out.  They had done all they could.

Aqua slipped into unconsciousness, hoping it would be enough.

XXX

Cracks arced across the boxlike barrier where Xemnas had hidden Aqua.  Lea knew he should use this moment to sneak a hit on the man, but he couldn’t look away.

“Axel, what’s he talking about?”  Kairi asked worriedly.  Lea didn’t answer – he didn’t have to.

The energy barrier exploded, blasting fragments across the roof.  Lea’s ears rang; Riku and Mickey lowered their keyblades.  Even Saix and Xemnas went still, watching the figure who was emerging from the debris.  She stepped forward, silhouetted against the background of flames. 

_Is she…?_ Lea’s stomach dropped when his eyes caught the tint of her hair.   _Please let that be a trick of the light._

“Meet the newest member of our Organization.” Xemnas smirked as he gestured to Aqua.  She smiled and summoned her keyblade as she approached.

In the firelight, her eyes glinted gold.

“Aqua…” Kairi gasped.  “They… Lea…?”

“We… we should get out of here,” he whispered to her.  Already his eyes were darting for an exit, but between the fire and craters in the roof, he couldn’t see a way for all of them to get out.

“ _No!_ Lea, we can’t leave her like this!”

“There’s nothing we can do,” he said, his voice lacking the emotion he felt.  He’d lost another friend.  And it was his fault – he’d led her here, into this deathtrap of a world.

Aqua took her place at Xemnas’s side.  He smiled at her and tenderly brushed a strand of silver hair from her eyes.

“I knew you would see, Aqua.  You are back where you belong.”

She placed a hand on his shoulder, smiling back up at him.

“Yes… I am.”

And then she plunged her keyblade through his stomach.

XXX

_Terra, if you’re in there, I’m sorry._

Aqua pulled her keyblade from Xemnas’s abdomen.  His amber eyes were wide; his lips parted in a silent gasp.

“You… how could you…?”

She unwove the color spell surrounding her hair and eyes.  A rainbow shimmer passed over them, and they returned to their previous blue shades.

“I see… you are as strong and bright as I remember.”  He smiled, holding his hands over the gash in his stomach.  It bled darkness that wisped up like smoke.  “Until we meet again, my friend.”

With those words, he disappeared, leaving nothing behind but wisps of darkness.  Her keyblade vanished from her hand.

“Terra…?”  No.  Xemnas, he – he _wasn’t_ Terra.  Terra would never have attempted to turn her to Xehanort’s side.  She had to believe that, or else…

_Or else I murdered my best friend..._

“Aqua?”  Lea and Kairi ran forward, Lea grabbing her shoulders, Kairi hovering worriedly behind.  “They didn’t Nort you?”

“No,” she managed to get out, shrugging him off.  “Please, I… just let me breathe for a minute…”

Riku and Mickey came over, offering their concern and support, but Aqua barely heard their words.  She should have been happy.  Her plan had worked; by finally accepting her darkness, her heart had become whole.  She’d had the strength to push out Xehanort’s influence.  She’d tricked Xemnas, and…

“I didn’t want to kill him,” she finally told them, interrupting Lea’s attempt to ask how she’d escaped.  Her knees buckled; she sat down roughly, then finally allowed the sobs to start. 

_I killed him… is this what it means to have darkness?  I thought I understood; I thought I could accept the dark without losing the light, but… I never would have killed him if…_

Wouldn’t she have, though?  She had been perfectly willing to kill Xigbar.  She would have gladly rammed a keyblade through Xehanort too, even before she had ever set foot in the Realm of Darkness.  They were at war.  War meant someone was going to die, and someone was going to kill.

_I just never thought Terra and I would end up on opposite sides..._

“I wouldn’t be so sure he’s dead,” Lea said with all of his usual tact.  “I mean, Sora and Riku have tried to kill him before, and he came back.”

Riku nodded, hesitantly placing a hand on her shoulder.  “And even if Xemnas is gone, we’ll still find a way to bring Terra back.”

“That’s right!”  Mickey added.  “Ansem the Wise left us some clues to bring back the lost keyblade wielders.  I haven't had time to go through them too much yet, but I bet Terra’s one of them!”

Aqua sniffed.  Clues?  Why hadn’t anyone told her before?  Well, she had been rather preoccupied with saving Van, and Mickey had been trying to take care of multiple missions at once.  But at least she knew now, and that was something.

She took a few more minutes to get ahold of herself, but she finally calmed her shaking shoulders and wiped her eyes dry with the heels of her hands.

“Thanks,” she told the four of them quietly.  “I think… I’ll be okay.”  She had felt this kind of shock after the battle at the Keyblade Graveyard, she had to remember.  Some problems she would face whether her darkness was involved or not.

Kairi smiled and held out a hand to help her to her feet.  Meanwhile, Riku cast his eyes over to his left and frowned.

“I think we’re forgetting something.”

Aqua followed the line of his sight.  Standing slumped near the rim of the flames was a ragged-looking blue-haired man.

“He’s just standing there,” Lea said, taking a few steps closer to him.  “I wonder…”

“Lea,” Riku said warningly.  “He’s been fighting us as much as anyone else in the Organization.”

“But why isn’t he fighting _now?”_

Riku didn’t have an answer to that.

“Maybe he won’t do anything without the other Xehanorts around?”  Kairi guessed.  Lea looked over at Xigbar, who was lying unconscious a few feet away.  His eyepatched seemed to have been burned off, his face blackened.

“We have to do something with the two of them,” Riku said.  It was only then that Xigbar coughed, a wheezing sound that slowly turned into mad laughter.

“Heh heh.  As if.”  Still laying on the ground, Xigbar grinned and faded into the darkness.  Lea cursed.

“Should’ve finished that one off while I had the chance.”

Aqua found herself agreeing with him.  But despite Xigbar’s disappearance, the blue-haired man was still standing lifelessly.

“Maybe… we could take him back to Yen Sid,” Riku suggested, though he didn’t look happy about it.  “What do you think, Mickey?”

The mouse frowned.  “I don’t know, fellas.  It could be some kind of trap.”

“Or, it could be an opportunity to get my friend back,” Lea countered, crossing his arms.

“I vote we bring him with us,” Aqua said.  Lea had been through so much to help her get her friends back; the least she could do was support him in return.  Besides, if the blue-haired man ended up being a problem, he would at least be outnumbered at the Mysterious Tower.

Riku and Mickey shared a look, then finally nodded.  “Alright.  Let’s go.”

Lea approached his blue-haired friend, coaxing the dead-eyed man towards their group.  Kairi went off in the opposite direction, then returned with her arms full.

“This is yours, right?”  She said, dropping the blue keyblade and pieces of armor at Aqua’s feet.  

Aqua blinked, her eyes threatening to well up with tears again.  After all this time…  all her searching…

She bent down and touched her armor.  With a flash, it disappeared from the ground, then reappeared around her.  She flexed her hand, feeling the metal plates slide seamlessly around her fingers.

“Stormfall,” she whispered, finally picking up her true keyblade.  She had fought her reflection with it inside her heart, but she hadn’t held its true form in years.  It hummed at her touch, glowing slightly.  She felt its warmth flow through her.

_I can finally save Van,_ she thought, then scanned the battlefield.  Lea was calming the flames that had surrounded them, leaving the roof scorched and pockmarked.  She remembered what he had told her before, when they were searching through Radiant Garden’s castle.

_“If getting Vanitas back lands you in a dark place… All I’m saying is you might regret doing ‘whatever it takes.’  Got it memorized?”_

She gripped Stormfall tighter.  She would never forget what she had sacrificed to retrieve it.  But she had sacrificed for her friends before – that was what had stranded her in the Realm of Darkness in the first place.  She was who she was because of those sacrifices.  So did she regret them?

_No,_ she decided, placing a hand over her heart.  A heart that now held light and darkness in harmony.  Fear and pain, but tempered by love and hope.

_If this is who my sacrifices have made me… I believe I can live with it._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *keels over from exhaustion* Feel free to point out any typos or other weird things in this chapter; I’ve edited this like five times, but I probably still missed some things. This has needed more editing than probably any chapter I’ve written; I’ve got four pages of deleted scenes saved in a different document because I had to pull out some stuff I liked too. But in the end I’m very happy with how this turned out; I’m pretty sure this is the first climax I’ve written with this many characters and things going on.
> 
> There will be an epilogue after this, but it should be pretty short!


	16. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys guess what it’s FLUFF TIME

“...and the rest you pretty much know.  Lea stayed behind with Saix, Kairi left to warn Sora about the new Organization, and Riku and Mickey came with me to rescue you.”

Aqua had been staring up at the Neverland night sky as she finished telling her story, but she finally turned her gaze back to Van.  He was staring, his jaw slightly agape, a half-formed Shoegazer trying to hop its way out of his shoulder.  She chuckled nervously.

“I know I made it sound pretty dramatic, but you don’t need to worry.  I’m alright now, I promise.”

He sputtered, but he managed to push down the Shoegazer before it could hop out and stomp all over their midnight picnic.

“But - you - you almost got possessed by _Xehanort!_ You could’ve _died!_ Why didn’t you tell me this a week ago!?”  

Aqua’s face flushed.  “You had just come out of a nightmare yourself.  I didn’t want to worry you any more than I had to.”  Part of her had considered not telling him the full story at all, but he needed to know.  Besides, Lea would end up dropping a hint sooner or later.  He probably would have already, if he weren’t so busy trying to return Saix to normal.  So far his efforts had been unsuccessful, but at least Saix showed no signs of hurting anyone.  Or doing anything at all.

Van leaned back on his hands and shook his head.  

“I thought I had the worse end of the deal… but _Thirteen Xehanorts!”_ He laughed, running a hand through his hair.  “Maybe we should’ve just stayed in the Realm of Darkness.”  

He had to be terrified if he was making deadpan jokes about that.  Not for the first time, she wondered what Xehanort had done to him.  But that was something he still wouldn’t tell anyone, not even her.

“It won’t be just the two of us against them, though.”  Aqua rubbed his shoulder and felt him relax a little.  “Sora, Riku, and Kairi are out there hunting them down right now.”

“No wonder Riku and Kairi keep flying off all the time… And that _Sora._ I’ve still got to meet him and find out if he’s actually as handsome as me.”  He smirked.

“Somehow I doubt it.”  Aqua chuckled, scooting in closer to him.  She hadn’t met the other boy yet either; his travels hadn’t taken him back to the Mysterious Tower or Radiant Garden, the two worlds Aqua visited most often.  Though in the week since Van had returned, they’d taken to exploring more worlds on her glider.  Maybe they would cross paths with Sora by accident.  She still needed to talk with him about waking Ventus.

Van leaned his head against hers, and she smiled.  She still couldn’t believe it sometimes, how he’d actually returned her feelings.  How they had gone from enemies, to grudging allies, to friends, to something more.  They still had their fights and awkward moments, sure.  He’d warned her about what she was getting into.  Still, somehow it felt as if this was how things were always meant to be.

“I hope the others don’t take out _all_ the Xehanorts,” Van said.  “I still want the chance to punch the old man in the face.”

“You and me both.  But I’m glad they’ve given us space to rest for a little while, and to figure out how to save Terra and Ven.  I’m still not ready to fight again just yet.”

“I never thought I’d say this, but me neither.”  He chuckled.  “Funny.  Fighting used to be the only thing I liked.”

“You’ve changed a lot.” She smiled.  “We both have.”

“Yeah.  I never would’ve been caught dead wearing plaid before.”  He cracked a grin.  She elbowed him in the side, only making him laugh.

“I was trying to be serious!”

“Well so was I!” He said back, tugging on the end of his long jacket.  It had been shorter when the good fairies originally created it, but he’d asked them to lengthen it - which he’d later admitted was because he felt weird without something swishing around his legs, in spite of how much he’d wanted to get rid of his skirt.  He’d also asked the fairies to get rid of the plaid, but apparently after a magical accident at Merlin’s, they could only make outfits with the unusual pattern.  At least his plaid was red and black, so he didn’t complain too much.  Aqua’s plaid was blue and pink, trimming the ends of her new skirt-wrap and poking out from under her long sleeves.

“We can still go shopping for new clothes,” she said.  “We’ll just have to wear these around the Mysterious Tower so we don’t hurt the fairies’ feelings.”

“Tch. Never had to worry about that before,” he muttered.  “Sometimes I wonder if being light is more trouble than it’s worth.”

“You don’t mean that,” she replied matter-of-factly.

“...Nah.  It’s been a pretty good deal, actually,” he finally said, then looked at her with a raised eyebrow. “How’s the darkness treating you?  I didn’t know that you finally accepted it.”

“It’s not so bad either.”  She shrugged.  “Sometimes I still feel more afraid or angry than I used to, but I don’t blame myself for it anymore.  I know that it’s normal now, so I just try to make things right and move on.”  It was certainly easier said than done - but it _could_ be done.  

“You’re doing a good job,” he said in a rare straightforward compliment.

“Well, it’s taken me a while.”  She smiled.  “You’re lucky you missed out on those early days.”

“I wish I hadn’t.”  He frowned.  “I could’ve helped you.  Instead you had to rely on Riku and that crazy redhead.”

“Lea?”  Aqua laughed.  “He’s not so bad.  He reminds me a bit of you, actually.”

“Hey, I’m _way_ cooler than that lo- guy.”  Van stuck out his tongue in disgust.  “I can’t believe he actually had the nerve to ask you out on a date.”

“Van, it’s not like he knew we were together then.  We _weren’t_ together then.”  

“Still,” he grumbled with a pout.  Did he know how cute he was when he did that?  She laughed and kissed his temple, making his cheeks go red in the starlight.  

“What was that for?”  He asked suspiciously, fingers brushing the spot where her lips had been.

“Just reminding you that I told him no.”  She grinned.  Van smirked - that look that meant trouble, but also made her heart beat fast at the same time.  Then he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her into a tight kiss.

“...What was that for?”  She asked back when they finally broke apart, both a little breathless.  Van’s eyes shone in the starlight, the warm gold that only looked right on him.  

“Just reminding you that you told me yes.”

That she had.  And that was something she didn’t regret, either.

XXX The End XXX

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look at that! Actually finishing a multichapter in less than a year?? I’m not sure I’ve ever done this before x’D  
> Anyway, that’s the end of this one! Which means I can FINALLY move on to the CaS 200 review special fic! That’s the one where Aqua and Vanitas have to deal with people’s crazy rumors after they get together. If you had suggestions for some of the rumors, please feel free to PM me or leave them in a review. I can’t promise I’ll use all of them, but I’ll try to put in some C:
> 
> And now onto the customy end-of-multichapter thanks:  
> Thanks to Antex-The Legendary Zoroark, The Unplanner, Forteller Ava, Kiomori, and Ejes for the consistent reviews on all of these chapters! It motivates me a lot to write and update faster when I know that other people besides me are actually invested in it x’D And thanks to everyone else who reviewed at all! While I don’t always respond to all of them, every one makes my day! And finally, a special double-thanks to Ejes, for jumping on the Vanitas/Aqua train with me and writing some fanfics for those two :D I highly recommend her fic “Secret Place” especially if you haven’t read that one already (plus I drew the cover art so there’s another shameless plug xP) And even if you never reviewed at all, even if you just read all the way to the end, thank you too!
> 
> I’m going to open up and share a little bit of a background about this story. I did start it mostly because I needed to know what Aqua did in those 50 days before I’d be able to write anything else in this universe. But as I wrote this, it became even more personal to me than most stories that I’ve written. I struggled a lot with depression and anxiety over the past year, and I felt like I related to Aqua battling her darkness a lot. I’ve always had a pretty easy life, known who I was, and been confident in myself. All of that changed last April, when I had to return home early from my service as a missionary for my church. My anxiety and depression had become so bad in the months before that, I’d been physically sick for weeks. I was still sick for a while after I came home too, but I got physically better pretty quickly. Emotionally it took a lot longer - maybe even until now. Anyway, one of the things that helped distract myself from those things was writing fanfiction again. That was around the time that I blasted through the last chapters of CaS, and then finally started this fic. While I definitely wouldn’t use Aqua’s experience here as a template for fighting depression/anxiety, writing about her working through fighting her darkness helped me keep faith that I could keep fighting my own, even if it was a different kind. 
> 
> So, yeah, that’s kind of sappy and all, but I felt like I should share it. In other news, you can keep expecting Vanitas and Aqua stuff from me in the future, I’m not tired of these two yet ^^ Thanks again for reading!


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